(Insert Creative Name Here)

Number 6: “There is no ‘rapture’ in the Bible.”

2011-09-19T10:41:00.001-07:00

Here Stockin words his statement in such a way that although there is some truth to his argument, the truth does not logically lead to his conclusion.

Let me explain.

He begins his argument by stating that the word “rapture” does not appear at all in the Bible. This is correct. In fact, there are a number of terms that theologians use to describe the teachings of scripture that do not appear themselves in scripture. For instance, no where in scripture does the word “Trinity” appear, yet the consistent testimony of scripture attests to the triune nature of God.

The word “rapture” also falls into this category. It is not found in scripture, and on this note I would agree with Stockin.

However, Stockin then draws a conclusion from this fact that is less than logical. The last paragraph in his argument is as follows: “Simply put, the “Rapture” is not biblically supported, and is a very modern Christian precept with a history going back only to the 19th century. So where did Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins get their “Rapture” ideas that spawned 16 best-selling novels? Like most Christian dogma it’s pure imagination, and very little Bible.”

Mr. Stockin couldn’t be more wrong. Although the word “rapture” doesn’t occur within the pages of scripture, it is a concept that is discussed throughout its pages. The second coming of the Messiah is a major theme of the New Testament, and the reunification of Christ with His Church is a major part of His return.

I’ll quote 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

But if one passage isn’t enough…. how about these: 1 Corinthians 15; John 14:3; Matthew 26:29; 1 Corinthians 11:26; 2 Thessalonians 2:1; Jude 14; and 1 Thessalonians 3:13 ought to be a good place to start.

(Drum Roll)...... Number 7

2011-09-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

In a blog titled, "The Top 10 Shocking Things that Christians Don't Know about the Bible," David Stockin asserts that there are a number of things that Christians don't know about the word of God. He then goes to great lengths in some cases to show how ignorant Christians are, and to a large degree, I concur. Largely we have a society that is biblically illiterate. As a result, I have thought that it would be interesting to engage in a little dialogue about Mr. Stockin's claims in order to see how accurate he really is.

Claim #4 "Thou Shall Not Kill is NOT a commandment."

He is correct. The translators of the King James Version of the Bible, working up to its publication in 1611 translated the Hebrew word tirezah as "kill," but this clearly isn't the indication of the text. Certainly there are times when the government, acting in the authority that God has given it will enter into war. There are times when policemen and women will have to use deadly force to keep evil people at bay. God certainly values life, and as men and women we are created in the image of God, and as a result we are to be respecters of human life. The Hebrew word translated "kill" in the KJV is better rendered as "murder" in most modern translations, because the word, coming from the Hebrew root word razah means "premeditated, vengeful, unlawful, killing." (see Brown, Driver and Briggs Hebrew Lexicon pages 953-954.

Number 8, part 2

2011-09-12T13:45:00.001-07:00

In a previous post, I outlined 11 assertions made by atheist David Stockin in his blog titled, “The Top 10 Shocking Things Christians Don’t Know about the Bible.” In this blog, I will attempt to address them one by one.

1) No where in the Old and New Testaments aside from Genesis 2:24 do we find any passage supportive of marriage.

Should a simple list be enough: Ephesians 5:21-33; Malachi 2:14-16; Mark 10:6-9; Hebrews 13:4; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7

I feel like we could go on and on, and certainly there are more texts and scriptures that describe how marriage was intended to function and outline the fact that marriage was God’s creation in the beginning.

2) The marriage at Cana isn’t a good text to argue Jesus’ support of marriage, because all the account in scripture says is that he stopped by the party to have some wine and berate his mother. He didn’t even attend the ceremony.

First of all, I would agree that this passage says nothing about Jesus’ support of, or hatred toward marriage. However, to argue that Jesus didn’t attend the “ceremony” is a statement that is made out of ignorance. Marriage “ceremonies” in the Ancient Near East are not like ceremonies today where a bride and a groom stand before family and friends and pledge their lives to one another. It was more of a legal transaction than what we are used to. It often involved a dowry to be paid (by the groom to the brides father) and a celebration (Party) followed by the consummation of the marriage. More than likely, the celebration WAS the marriage ceremony.

3) Jesus commands his followers to abandon their wives and children to follow him (Matthew 19:29; Mark 10:28-30; Luke 9:57-62.)

Here we see the dangers of taking a few verses out of the context in which they were written. The Matthew text and the Mark text are parallel accounts, and therefore can be handled together, the Luke text is a different situation altogether, but the underlying message is the same.

We must love Jesus more than we love anyone else.

In Matthew and Mark Jesus has just finished addressing a rich man who had great wealth and refused to abandon that wealth in order to follow Jesus. Again, the issue is not about wealth, but about where your loyalty lies. If my heart belongs to my stuff, then I cannot fully follow after Jesus. If my heart belongs to my family, above my God, then I cannot fully follow after Jesus. Certainly this is a harsh teaching, but it is not meant to demean or belittle marriage. On the contrary it is about priorities. Jesus must take top priority in the life of a Christian. The same is true for Jesus’ comments in the Luke text.

The issue isn’t marriage, but priorities.

4) Jesus gives instructions on how to divorce your wife. (Matthew 19:5-9, Mark 10:8)

Yes, he does. And if you read the text in context, he actually limits the justification for divorce. Moses, because of the hardness of the people’s hearts allowed for divorce in just about any circumstance. This was the first version of the No Fault Divorce! But Jesus says this isn’t the way God intended it. Marital unfaithfulness is the ONLY justification Jesus gives for divorce. (Later in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 Paul adds another justification: If an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse, the believing spouse is not bound by that marriage)

5) Paul orders Christians to not get married (1 Corinthians 7:27)

Read the whole text: 1 Corinthians 7:25-38 in particular verse 28 which says, “But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.”

Paul isn’t condemning marriage, but recognizing that marriage brings with it anxieties and troubles that unmarried people do not have. Additionally it could be argued that unmarried people have anxieties and troubles that married people do not have (see 1 Corinthians 7:36).

7:38 sums it up well: “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.”

6) Jesus praises those who have made themselves Eunuchs (Matthew 19:10-13)

I would like to quote Bob Utley, Hermeneutics professor from East Texas Baptist University:

“Marriage is the norm (cf. Gen. 1:28; 9:17), but celibacy is a godly option (cf. I Cor. 7:7,17). A believer’s prayerful desires will guide him/her in this area. If one chooses to be single, it should be for service to God (cf. I Cor. 7:32).

The Jews of Jesus’ day rejected singleness as a godly option.
Jesus (then) discusses the different types of singles.”

Certainly this is a difficult text, but it in no way is designed to instruct everyone to make themselves eunuchs, or remain celibate or single. Put simply this text challenges the culture of the day by asserting that singleness is a godly choice (as is marriage).

7) Jesus gives instructions on murdering and beating children (Matthew 15:4-7; Mark 7:9-10)

Honestly, I don’t know how these texts instruct people to beat or murder children. Read them here.

8) Jesus endorses the beating of slaves (Luke 12:47)

First of all, this is a parable steeped in the culture of the day in which it was written, and secondly, I’m not sure what this has to do with marriage.

9)-11) Jesus says that he has come to destroy families (Matthew 10:21 and 10:34)

Matthew chapter 10 is full of malicious talk about the family and marriage.

Matthew 10 also instructs Christians to become martyrs in the same way that the Koran instructs Muslims.

The “offensive” texts in Matthew 10 are found in two places: Matthew 10:21-22 and 10:34-39. (contrary to Matthew 10 being “full of malicious talk about marriage and family.”)

First things first, though, there is very little, if anything, said in this passage about marriage in particular. It does, however, when taken out of context, appear to be harmful to the family. Therefore let us engage in a brief discussion.

In this passage, Jesus is sending out the 12 apostles in order to take the Good News to the people of Israel. In doing so, they will no doubt face persecution. The persecution, Jesus warns, will not simply be from unnamed, faceless Jews, but instead it will come from those closest to you. In many cultures today, to profess the name of Jesus means that your family will disown you and in some cases hand you over to authorities to be punished and/or put to death. As a result, your commitment to Jesus must be greater than your commitment to your family, and even your own life.

Secondly, Jesus has not come to bring war or strife, but the fact that the Messiah has come will force humans to make a radical decision between followship or rejection of Him. The text which talks about “hating your father or mother” is not meant to be taken literally,but instead should be recognized as a Hebrew idiom (cf. Gen. 29:31,
33; Deuteronomy. 15; Mal. 1:2-3; John. 12:25). This then speaks of a radical priority commitment to Jesus which supersedes all earthly relationships.

Again, this passage is not meant to demean marriage or the family, both of which are institutions defended by scripture. Instead, given the context in which Jesus is making these statements, we are to understand that he is calling us to a radical commitment to him, even if it costs us all of our familial relationships

Now i will admit that these are difficult teachings, and ones that we must heed if we desire to be true followers of Christ.

But no where in these texts do we understand them to stand in opposition to marriage or family.

More to come!

Jesus is against marriage? NUMBER 8

2011-08-17T07:55:00.001-07:00

In this particular article, David Stockin claims a good number of things based on scripture taken out of context. Before we begin, let’s take a look at how he supports his claim that “Jesus is against marriage (with anyone).”

(note: The statements below are summations of the points made in an article titled, “The Top 10 Shocking Things Christians Don’t Know about the Bible.” written by a self proclaimed atheist named David Stockin. The statements numbered below are not mine, and, in my opinion, are great examples of eisegesis (reading into scripture your particular point of view) and poor hermeneutics (biblical interpretation).)

1. No where in the Old and New Testaments aside from Genesis 2:24 do we find any passage supportive of marriage.

2. The marriage at Cana isn’t a good text to argue Jesus’ support of marriage, because all the account in scripture says is that he stopped by the party to have some wine and berate his mother. He didn’t even attend the ceremony.

3. Jesus commands his followers to abandon their wives and children to follow him (Matthew 19:29; Mark 10:28-30; Luke 9:57-62.)

4. Jesus gives instructions on how to divorce your wife. (Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8)

5. Paul orders Christians to not get married (1 Corinthians 7:27)

6. Jesus praises those who have made themselves Eunuchs (Matthew 19:10-13)

7. Jesus gives instructions on murdering and beating children (Matthew 15:4-7; Mark 7:9-10)

8. Jesus endorses the beating of slaves (Luke 12:47)

9. Jesus says that he has come to destroy families (Matthew 10:21 and 10:34)

10. Matthew chapter 10 is full of malicious talk about the family and marriage.

11. Matthew 10 also instructs Christians to become martyrs in the same way that the Koran instructs Muslims.

Now, there are many problems with this claims, and one post would be too long to deal with each of them together, so we will take a look at one or two at a time, so that we can work through his arguments in an orderly manner.

The first installment will be later today.

The Top 10 Shocking Things Christians Don't Know About the Bible.... NUMBER 9

2011-08-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm sorry about not posting yesterday, we had a lot going on here at the church... I'm sure you'll forgive me.

The number 9 shocking thing that Christians don't know about the Bible according to David Stockin is as follows:

9. There is no resurrection of Jesus in the Bible

OK, now this one just makes me laugh. He's really reaching for anything at this point. He states the following:

There is absolutely no resurrection narrative found anywhere in the four canonical Gospels. Nowhere in the New Testament is there a description of Jesus coming back to life. Sorry to disappoint you, but all of the "He is Risen" stickers are just wrong. "He has Disappeared" would be more accurate.

There is no more important event for a Christian's faith than the resurrection of Christ. Paul sums it up this way...

... if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:14

And so, when Stockin attacks the historicity (you're welcome Kelly Russell) of the resurrection, then he not only attacks the validity of scripture, but our faith as well.

So let's put to the test Stockin's claim using the criteria that he uses. First, he argues that there is no resurrection account in the four canonical gospels. Second, he says that nowhere in the New Testament is there a description of Jesus coming back to life.

The Four Gospels

Matthew 28:1-20

Two women approach the tomb, there is an earthquake, and an angel rolls the stone away. The guards freeze with fear and the report that Jesus is alive is given along with a command to tell the other disciples. As they are leaving, they SEE Jesus, and actually TOOK HOLD of his feet. Later, after the guards muster up a lie about the disciples taking the body, the eleven disciples see Jesus again just before he ascends into heaven

Mark 16:1-8

Three women approach the tomb, an angel rolled the stone away and told them that Jesus was alive.

Luke 24:1-53

Some followers (4 women) of Jesus approach the tomb and find it empty, it is reported to them by two angels that Jesus is alive. They quickly returned and told the disciples but no one believes them. Peter goes and sees the empty tomb.

Then Jesus WALKS and TALKS with two disciples on the road to Emmaus.

Then Jesus APPEARS to the disciples, they TOUCH him and he EATS with them

They they watched as he ascended into heaven

John 20:1-21:25

John devotes two chapters to the resurrection of Christ.

As with the other gospels, it is women who first see the empty tomb.

Peter and John then run and find Jesus is not in the tomb.

Jesus then appears to a weeping Mary in the garden.

Jesus then appears to 10 disciples in a room with locked doors, but Thomas doesn't believe.

So Jesus appears to the 10 and Thomas and they TOUCH him.

Later in the account he appears to 7 disciples while they are fishing. He eats with them and has extended discussions with Peter and John.

In conclusion... each of the four gospels contains an account of the resurrection of Christ, and all but Mark record post resurrection appearances of Christ which describe Jesus touching, eating and teaching the disciples.

The Rest of the New Testament

Where to start? Because the New Testament says so much about the resurrection of Christ, for simplicity we will simply refer to 1 Corinthians 15:3-8 which discusses the post-resurrection appearances of Christ.

For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than 500 brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to one untimely born , he appeared also to me.

So, according to Paul, Jesus not only was raised from the dead, but he appeared to over 500 different people over a period of 40 days, and then appeared to Paul at some point following his resurrection (see Acts 9). This is not what we would expect to hear in Jesus were simply "missing." He wasn't "missing," he was alive, and people saw him, touched him, ate with him, and walked with him.

But do you want to know what is really cool? 1 Corinthians 15:6 tells us that most of the people that had seen the risen Lord were still alive. That meant that when Paul wrote this, the people in Corinth could have traveled to Jerusalem and met these people.

Not only that, but in Acts 2, Peter stands up and preaches that Jesus had been crucified and that he rose from the dead. Thousands of people hear this first sermon of Peter's at Pentecost. The whole event occurs less than 2 months after the crucifixion of Christ and not one person is recorded as pointing out the absurdity of Peter's belief in the resurrection. Not one person points to his tomb or his body. Instead, we see thousands of people who place their faith in a risen Lord.

And by the way, these people that saw Jesus after his resurrection believed it so strongly, that they all lost their lives in some of the most horrendous ways possible

As we continue to work our way through the claims of David Stockin, we will see that in some cases, he has a valid argument based on how he defines certain words, or on how he words his statements. But in this case, he is just plain wrong.

The Top 10 Shocking Things Christians Don't Know About the Bible

2011-08-08T06:08:00.001-07:00

As I was researching for a sermon last week I came across a website that is written by a self-proclaimed atheist named David Stockin. In the introduction to his article, he writes the following:

"It never ceases to amaze me how little Christians know about their religious texts. My experience is that the more religious a person is, the less he or she knows about their religion."

He then compiles a list of "top 10 things about the Bible Christians don't know." in order to "demonstrate exactly how shockingly out of touch modern Christians are from the teachings found in the Bible."

And so, for the next 10 days or so, we will take a look at each of these 10 "facts" that have been presented, one at a time, in order to see if Mr. Stockin is correct (in some cases he will be right), mistaken (in some cases, he uses verses out of context or defines words in such a way as to prove his point), or just flat out wrong (yep, he's wrong some, too).

As Christians, hopefully this will give us insight into the mind and workings of an atheist, and hopefully give us some practice in discerning truth from fiction.

And so, without further adieu.... (in my best David Letterman voice).... NUMBER 10

10. Despite Mel Gibson's movie, there is almost no crucifixion account.

David Stockin's Statement: "One thing that stuns most Christians is that there is actually little to no text describing the crucifixion of Jesus. In general, all the Gospels have to say is that he was convicted and crucified. That's pretty much it. Of the few details that are in the Gospels, they don't actually relate to the actual crucifixion. There are a few details regarding some comments made by Jesus (each Gospel has a different account), crowds mocking him, thieves beside him, etc. But most folks are surprised at how little there actually is in the Bible regarding the crucifixion of Jesus. So what did Mel Gibson base his grotesque movie on? You'll have to ask him."

I have so much to say about this particular issue, but I will try to limit my comments so this post is actually readable. Let's start with the biblical accounts of the crucifixion as described in the four gospel accounts.

First we have to realize that each gospel was written to a specific people, which determined the style of writing and content of the message. For instance, the book of Matthew is written primarily to the Jews, and as a result, there is a heavy reliance upon Old Testament scriptures and Jesus' fulfillment of those scriptures. As a result, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all tell identical stories as well as stories that are unique to their own gospel.

This in no way attacks the validity of the scriptures any more than 4 different individual accounts of D-Day would make any of us question the fact of the invasion of Normandy. As a result, Stockin's parenthetical statement about each gospel containing a different account, although somewhat accurate, doesn't prove anything.

But one area in which the gospels are in striking agreement is on the events of the last week of the life of Christ. In fact, huge portions of the gospels are devoted to this one week's events.

In Matthew, chapters 1-20 follow Jesus for three years of teaching and healing on this earth. Chapters 21-28 (that's 28.5% of the book) are devoted to the final week of Christ's life.

The other gospels follow suit:

Mark: Chapters 1-10-- 3 years; Chapters 11-16 (37.5%)-- One week

Luke: Chapters 1-18-- 3 years; Chapters 19-24 (25%)-- One week

John: Chapters 1-11, 21-- 3 years; Chapters 12-20 (42.8%)-- One week

It is obvious, with at least 1/4 of the gospel writings devoted to this final week of Christ's life on earth (prior to resurrection) that each gospel is just an extended passion narrative. In other words, it is Christ's death, burial and resurrection that finds itself at the core of the message. It is so important to the gospel writers, that each of them slams on the breaks and devotes huge portions of their book to discussing the events that surround this final week.

As far as the actual crucifixion event, each gospel mentions the crucifixion, some giving more detail than others.

Matthew 26:47-27:26 discusses the arrest and trial of Jesus. Verse 26 states that they had him flogged. It is this flogging practice that typically began the crucifixion process in the Roman world. The flogging (to which Mel Gibson gives great detail and screen time) was brutal and often left the criminal with exposed muscle and bone.

Matthew 27:27-31 discusses the mocking and physical abuse that occurred at the hands of the soldiers

Matthew 27:32-56 describes what happened during the 6 hours that Jesus was actually on the cross during which time he cried out to God, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

In total, Matthew devotes roughly 83 verses to describing what took place in a period of time less than 24 hours

Mark, the shortest of the gospel accounts, also gives an account of his crucifixion.

Mark 14:43-15:15 describes the arrest and trial of Jesus

Mark 15:15 says that he was handed over to be flogged (per custom of Rome, see above)

Mark 15:16-20 discusses the mocking and physical abuse at the hands of the soldiers

Mark 15:21-41 describes the 6 hours on the cross, during which time he cries out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

In total, Mark devotes 71 verses to the events of less than 24 hours

** Note, Matthew and Mark agree in the sayings of Jesus while on the cross without ANY discrepancy

Luke 22:47-23:25 discuss the arrest and trial

Luke 23:26-49 describe the 6 hours on the cross, during which time, Jesus says, "Father, forgiven them for they do not know what they are doing (23:34)," "Truly, I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise (23:43)," and "Father into your hands I commit my spirit (23:46)."

In total, Luke devotes 72 verses to the events of less than 24 hours.

John 18:1-19:16 describe the arrest and trial of Jesus

John 19:16-37 discusses the events that transpired during the 6 hours on the cross, during which time Jesus says, "Woman, here is your son," "Here is your mother (19:26-27)," I am thirsty (19:28)," "It is finished (19:30)."

** again, note that just because each gospel records different words uttered from Christ's mouth, that does not mean that he didn't say all of these things (and perhaps more) while on the cross. But each gospel records what is important for its readers (and writers) to understand and know. For instance, John records the interchange with Mary (see vs. 19:26-27) because John was involved in the dialogue. No other disciple would have had the personal connection to those events that John had. It would make sense that he would record it, while others would not.

All in all, John devotes 77 verses to the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of Christ, the events that took place in less than 24 hours of time.

We could go on, and mention additional passages from both the Old Testament and New Testament that discuss the crucifixion of Christ as a central theme (along with his resurrection) of the gospel message, but it seems clear that Mr. Stockin is only interested in what is recorded in the 4 gospels.

In this brief post, I have show that the gospels devote 29 chapters of material (More than the entire length of any one gospel account) to the final week of Jesus' life, and a total of 303 verses (nearly twice as many as Psalm 119-- which is the longest chapter in the entire Bible) to the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of Jesus.

Now, his argument is going to be this: When it comes to the actual time that Jesus spent on the cross, very little is said.

My response is two-fold:

1) What do you want to be said? Crucifixion was a gruesome process, it was painful-- both physically and mentally. He would have had an increasingly difficult time breathing, and as a result, he would not have spoken much. Most of the time that Jesus was on the cross his followers would have been found in mourning, as they watched as their son, friend, brother, and savior die. Additionally, he was only on the cross for a total of around 6 hours. This is a relatively short amount of time for someone to hang on the cross. As a result, it is not surprising that the gospel writers didn't have chapters worth of material.

2) Years from now, when we read of the execution of Saddam Hussein or of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, there will not be chapters and books of details that surround their death, but no one will dispute the historicity of the events. We don't need all of the gory minute by minute details. Why? Because it doesn't really matter. For historians, it is important that we have recorded that Hussein was killed by hanging, while Bin Laden was killed in a military raid of his compound.

And although Jesus was NOT a criminal (he was convicted of false crimes), nor had he committed ANY wrong (unlike Hussein or Bin Laden), he was put to death as a part of political and judicial action.

And as Christians, the important aspects that follow this final day of Jesus' life (prior to resurrection) are the facts that he was crucified on a Roman cross (a detail that each of the gospels (and the rest of scripture) is in complete agreement on); and that he rose from the dead (another fact, as we will see later, that the gospels, and the early church all agree on.) We should not doubt the historicity of the accounts simply because we don't have every gory detail. We don't apply the same criteria in any other event in history.

So, as far as Mr. Stockin's first statement, that there is almost no crucifixion account, I beg to differ. It is the consistent testimony of scripture (and extrabiblical accounts too, but that is another story) that Jesus Christ died on a Roman Cross.

I've got a river of life

2011-03-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

Imagine if you will, a very remote village located deep in the Congo Jungle of Africa… for 2000 years villagers have existed in this village, subsisting on hunting and the small amount of crops that could be grown and harvested among the high trees that canopied them.

Hundreds, and perhaps thousands of years ago, so long ago that no one really remembers when, the forefathers of this village dug a canal to bring freshwater through the jungle and near enough to their village that their women wouldn’t fear attack on the long traverse to and from the water’s edge. The stories about the building of the canal were matter of legend. Stories were told of the villagers fighting off attacks from neighboring tribes and defending the canal to the point of death. Many individuals died in the project that ultimately took years to finish.

Those that completed the task were considered heroes. The villagers named their children after the men that gave their lives to the canal that brought much needed life-giving water the village.

But now the canal is dry. The life giving water that once flowed between its mighty banks has long since gone missing. The river had been diverted and the tributary that once fed this canal has also run dry. But the canal is still there. It still bears the marks from where the waters used to rise and fall with the rainy season. The villagers still name their children after the engineers, and they often still engage in battles to defend the now lifeless banks of a canal that used to be worth something.

The villagers had long since misunderstood the source of life—They thought he canal was to be reveared, the canal was to be honored, the canal was to be fought for… but the canal did not give to them life. The canal did not quench their thirst. The canal did not offer anything in and of itself. The canal was simply a channel, through which life was delivered.

Now make no mistake about it, the canal was essential. It was the vehicle that carried the water to those in need… but now it was simply an empty ditch, a vacant trench that carried no life giving or redeeming qualities.

Nearly 2000 years ago, a man walked this earth, and he claimed to be someone different. He claimed to be the son of God; he claimed to be God himself.

And when he left this earth, ascending into heaven under the watchful eyes of the disciples, he brought into being the church. The gathering of believers.

And it brought life. The gospel of Jesus was carried the ends of the earth and people were filled with living water, never to thirst again (John 4). People were fed spiritually and became spiritually well. People who never had hope, now were filled with the fruits of love, joy, hope, and peace. Fruits that were watered by the life-giving gospel carried to the far corners of the earth by the church.

And many died to protect it from attack. And many suffered and bled in its construction.

And the church became honored. Those that helped to build and sustain it were counted as heroes. People named their children and streets and buildings after those who had worked so hard to make it all that it was.

But we, just like the villagers of the Congo, often misunderstand the source of life.

Because the church in and of itself offers no redeeming qualities. The redemption comes from what the church carries. Life comes from the truth that is vehicled through the church’s methodology, programming, and witness.

And all of this begs the question: Is the Church still the bastion of living water, or is it a dried up ditch? On a more personal level, the Bible tells us that Jesus is alive inside of all of us. (Galatians 2:20). Are you a vibrant channel of God’s grace, allowing Him to use you to pour out his life-giving power on all you come into contact with (John 7:37)? Or are you an empty well that used to be filled with goodness, but now offers no more redemptive value.

I want the Church to be a channel of God’s grace and salvation. I want our church to be a tributary of the main branch that feeds and fuels and brings life to those that we come into contact with. I want my life to be a channel of God’s grace and salvation. I want people to find life in the life that I carry within my own.

And I will fight for that church. I would die for that church. But there is little use for an empty ditch.

Reading List for Spring of 2011

2011-01-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to let you know what is on my docket for the new year:

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnege

Mad Church Disease by Anne Jackson

Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend

Built to Last by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras

Vintage Church by Mark Driscoll

Tipping Point by Maclom Gladwell

and if I have time:

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by John Bunyan-- It was free, so I thought I would give it a shot. I hear it is phenomnenal.

I'll also be working through (in some cases again):

Wild at Heart by Eldridge

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie

There you have it... for better or for worse.

The Hard Truth of the Easy Gospel

2010-06-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

I have been struck with an overwhelming sense of frustration over the last few days with the state of Christianity, particularly here in the Bible belt. I am frustrated at how we have whittled down our faith in Jesus Christ to walking an aisle and getting dunked in a pool of water. We have made following Jesus very safe, which by the way, he never intended it to be. In the early church (and currently in some places throughout the world) following Jesus requires a radical commitment to His ways. In some cases it cost you your family. In others it cost you your job. And in some cases it cost you your life, which martyrs bravely gave for the glory that was to be revealed in them through Christ Jesus.

How thankful we should be, that in the USA, following Jesus doesn't require these types of extreme sacrifices. Few of us will be asked to give our lives for following Jesus while preaching and living out the word in Birmingham, AL. In addition, I am in no way trying to imply that the USA is somehow spoiled or that we should be ashamed because we don't face this same type of persecution. We are blessed (for now) and we should be thankful to God for these blessings.

But although that is true, for many of us, Christianity has become too safe. We talk less about taking up our cross and following Jesus, and more about ritualistic actions that are designed to give us some sort of assurance as to how much God loves us while calling us to minimal commitment. Think about the invitations given at my church and so many like it: "Leave your seat, come down this aisle, and publically present to our church your faith. As you leave today, pick up your "Get out of Hell Free Card" and we'll contact you about Baptism. In the mean time, we don't really expect you to sacrifice anything or to change your behavior. Just show up to church one out of every 4 weeks and be sure to give your average 3% that Christians give of their income and we're good."

Then, let's talk about how good it is going to be when Jesus comes back. Let's talk about the rapture and read the Left Behind series of books so that we can pretend that we are looking forward to this glory that we will get because we've been willing to swallow our pride and walk an aisle at our local church where on average less than 100 people attend.

But as I was reading Amos today, I began to realize that for so many of us who have ritualistically done all that we are supposed to, and yet are not sold out completely to Jesus, the day of Jesus' second coming will not be all that we thought it would be.

Amos 5:18-24

Woe to you who long for the day of the Lord! Why do you long for the day of he Lord? That day will be darkness, not light. It will be as though a man fled from a lion only to meet a bear, as though he entered his house an rested his hand on the wall only to have a snake bite him. Will not the day of the Lord be darkness, not light-- pitch-dark without a ray of brightness? I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river righteousness like a never-failing stream.

God has called us to a higher level of living. To a radical commitment to the advancement and the well-being of the other. God has called us to more than just ritualistic feasts and ceremonies. It is more than walking an aisle. Is is a complete selling out of your life to the one who gave his life for you.

And this may be the hard truth of the easy gospel.

Two “F words.”

2010-06-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

An Old Post from Jon Acuff, worth the read.

Two “F words.”

Stupid Anxiety

2010-06-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

I prefer calling it anxiety rather than worry. I suppose it makes me feel a little better not to refer to it as worrying or fretting, both of which I accept are unproductive behaviors. But I suppose if the shoe fits.

This morning, for some reason, I am overcome by fear, anxiety, and worry. In a couple of hours I will be standing in front of my congregation sharing with them a message from God's Word that can change their lives... and I'm worried about life and family, and VBS, and kids, and my wife, and money and all kinds of other stuff that doesn't matter.

And then God put some verses in the Bible that hadn't been there before:

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

As I read this, I should have been filled with confidence, and yet, I realize how much I try to do under my own power and strength. The reason the Psalmist isn't shaken is because he puts the Lord always before him.

Father, may I always put you before me. May I never rely on my own strength and power. I realize that you have gifted me and blessed me in so many ways, but ultimately I am nothing apart from your power. Accomplish much in me. Accomplish amazing things today in the hearts of your people. Make us aware of our lostness, brokenness and utter dependence upon you.

Help us to place you first. Then, and only then can we say:

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

Summer Reading List

2010-06-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so I find it interesting that I never liked reading until after I graduated from school. Now I can't walk into a bookstore or browse Amazon.com without buying something. That having been said, I thought I would fill you all in on what I'm reading this summer:

1) The Book of Useless Information by Noel Botham

I love this book, can't put it down. How else would I know that the only two mammals to lay eggs were the Platypus and the Echidna?

2) Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream by David Platt

I wish he used different terminology other than "American dream." Nonetheless, I understand the premise and have enjoyed the book so far. Plus, the fact that Platt is a little younger than me and pastoring a megachurch and writing books makes me feel really good about myself.... really....

3) Plan B: What You Do When God Doesn't Show Up the Way You Thought He Would by Pete Wilson

Great title, and I sure hate it when God doesn't show up, I'm really hoping that this will tell me what to do. Maybe if God doesn't show up, Pete Wilson will.

4) A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne

Maybe this will help me understand why you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Had a woman come into my office who can't read or write. I set her up with literacy training in our town. She didn't show up for any of her lessons. I don't understand.

5) Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Die and Others Survive by Dan Heath

I don't know why I bought this book, other than it had duct tape on the cover, and I'm a sucker for duct tape.
6) Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff
I actually went to college with Jon. This book is so true it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

7) The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns

This book is written by the guy in charge of World Vision and is my current BookSneeze choice. Perhaps we can fix this hole with the duct tape that Dan Heath is talking about in number 5?

I figure this is a good place to start.

The Map by David Murrow

2010-04-19T08:59:00.001-07:00

The Map is the latest release from David Murrow, and is essentially divided into two sections: a fable illustrating the principles Murrow is trying to teach, and a much more didactic section in which he systematically lays out his pathway to masculinity.

The fable tells the story of David Murrow as he seeks out a mysterious map that supposedly leads to a long lost document that chronicles the transformation of millions of men from the earliest followers of Jesus until the present day. The main character then embarks on a journey that would lead him to a monastery in Greece where he meets a mysterious monk who divulges the secret pathway to becoming a man of God.

I was excited to read this follow up title from the author that brought us Why Men Hate Going to Church, but was disappointed that the author diverged from his previous style of writing which included hard facts discovered from research.

The fable was interesting and held my attention, but it pales in comparison to the captivating scripts of some of the best fiction writers such as C.S. Lewis or even Dan Brown. All in all, I found the theology weak, and I left the book feeling like David Murrow was looking for a map where one was never intended.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html :“Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Reason

2010-02-10T07:09:00.000-08:00

In a month or so Baptists from all over the country will embark on what the NAMB is calling GPS (God's plan for sharing). Now, although I wish they had come up with a better name for it, I like the idea. It is the goal of Baptists all over North America to share the gospel with every person in North America by 2020.

I think it is a very noble goal, and our church will be joining with other churches to help accomplish this enormous task.

But let me ask a question, it's kind of personal, so I hope you don't mind, but it is a question that has driven how FBCH will participate in GPS.

What about the person living next door to you?

Now don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful that people are out canvassing neighborhoods that they don't live in, inviting strangers that they have never met to a church service that they won't even sit with them in... but why is it so difficult for you to simply walk across your yard and meet the family that is living next door or across the street?

Let's do a little exercise: Close your eyes... wait, you're reading... imagine you are walking out the front door to your house. Look to your left. Who lives there? Write their name down. Look the right. Who lives there? Write it down! No cheating! Look ahead of you. Who lives across the street?

Three homes. Three families. If the average holds true, around 10 people. They need to hear about Jesus. They are probably looking for love and acceptance and joy and peace... and you know where to find it!

Acts 17:26-27 says this:

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set before them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

God has placed you where you are living. In the community in which you live. On the street on which you live. In your home. He has placed you there so that people, and I believe the people living all around you, can call upon his name and find salvation and love and acceptance and peace and mercy and grace.

Wow. Just think about that. You are where you are and your neighbors are your neighbors on purpose. It isn't an accident.

What a huge responsibility. I pray that we may learn to take it seriously lest we disappoint the One who breathed life into our lungs.

How did they not see that coming?

2010-01-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

I was reading the story of Gideon today when I came across this:

Judges 7:24b-25a

So all the men of Ephraim were called out and they took the waters of the Jordan as far as Beth Barah. They also captured two of the Midianite leaders, Oreb and Zeeb. They killed Oreb at the rock of Oreb and Zeeb at the winepress of Zeeb.

Moral of the story: Stay away from places that are named after you.

If you get this post, then your mind is as backward as mine. ;o)

From Fox News

2010-01-14T11:09:00.001-08:00

Like A Winter Snow

2009-12-02T08:39:00.000-08:00

One of the most important doctrines of Christianity states that Jesus is God. Make no mistake about it, Jesus was also a man, but somehow, God was able to clothe His deity in our weak humanity and the result was Jesus Christ.

But how do we know that Jesus was God? How can we look at this man and believe that he was truly God? Let’s be honest, there are a number of mere mortal men throughout history who have claimed to be God, and yet the one that has been able to convince more people of his deity has been Jesus. And so what makes his arguments so convincing.

The classical Christian answer to this question finds itself in the claims of Jesus himself. Jesus claimed to be God. Not only that, but the power that he displayed while he was on this earth through miracles and the wisdom that he espoused while on this earth all give testimony to his deity. Few historians will argue that Jesus actually walked and talked in first century Palestine. Few historians will deny that he was a miracle worker of some sort and a very wise teacher. For many Christians, these facts point to the fact that Jesus Christ was God.

But at Christmas time, I would like us to focus on what people claimed about Jesus and his God-ness long before he even uttered his first words.

Jesus’ character pointed to his deity. Audrey Assad has written a song called “Winter Snow” which describes how Jesus could have come to our world in power, he chose to come quietly and unexpectedly as a little baby. As I think about this, I realize that if I were God I would not chose to enter into our world in this way. I don’t think it would gain me any followers, but instead show a lack of power. Regardless of what I think it showed, there is one thing that I’m certain it did not show: Jesus is God. There is no sign of deity in the manger. So, if I were God, I wouldn’t choose to reveal myself to my creation in the humble way that Jesus chose. I would come like a mighty King. For Jesus, this might mean that he should come on a white horse with an army of angels. If I were to come out of heaven to earth today that would probably include some much more magical fanfare. I think I would have the sky open up just a little bit so I could fly my F-35 Joint Strike Fighter down out of the heavens. I would parachute out of the plane which would then transform into some sort of angelic robot. I would be 20 feet tall and stunningly beautiful. On my arm would be a 19 foot tall and equally beautiful-supermodel type wife who adored my every move and laughed at every joke.

But that isn’t how Jesus came. And this is one of the main reasons that I think he is God. No man would have chosen to live the way he lived. No man would have chosen the humble birthplace. No man who claimed to be God would ever be content not to have a roof over his head or money in his pockets and yet, this is precisely what we see Jesus do as a baby and throughout his whole life.

I am also amazed at the number of people who believed Jesus was God before he ever uttered a word. Donald Miller in his book, Searching for God Knows What, outlines this phenomenon. You had a group of shepherds, essentially the blue collar workers of the day, who believed that Jesus was God because some angels appeared to them and then they found this baby just like they were told they would. You have a group of Magi, whomever they may be, who followed a star and found the baby and worshiped him. You have King Herod who was so convinced that this baby was going to be a king that he had infant boys murdered in order to protect his rule.

Not only that, but as a baby, Jesus was brought into the temple by his parents where the gospel of Luke tells of two encounters. One was with an older gentleman named Simeon. Simeon had been told that he wouldn’t die until he saw the Messiah. Simeon takes Jesus and immediately breaks into song. I still think it is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, and I think that it sounds best in the old English of the King James Version:

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace,
according to thy word, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation
which thou hast preparest before the face of all people
a light to lighten the Gentiles and the glory of Thy people Israel (Luke 2:29-32)

At the same time another woman, a prophetess named Anna comes and speaks to the people standing around Jesus. The Bible tells us that she spoke about the child as the one who would redeem Jerusalem.

And Jesus hadn’t even made a single claim about himself.

In fact, neither had Mary and Joseph. Luke tells us that they marveled at what was said about their son (Luke 2:33). This little baby. This little, helpless, weak, quiet baby. God in flesh.

And when I read these accounts, I see Kings, rich people, poor people, old people, working people, people of God and lay persons who, moved by the Spirit, looked at this child and saw God.

And if I were God. I wouldn’t have come this way. If I were God it would have been different. When we look at people who claim to be God it is never this way. This is why I think Jesus came quiet and soft and slow. I think this is why God clothed himself in our humanity the way that he did. Because no human in their right mind would do it that way. And I think this helps us understand that Jesus was not just a human, but also God.

He could have come like a mighty wind, with the strength of a hurricane… but he came like a winter snow.

Quito

2009-10-03T21:34:00.001-07:00

Some 14 hours after we left Hayden, Al this morning our team has arrived in Quito, Ecuador. So far the trip has been very uneventful. We were able to check all of our bags and we caught our plane on time. Tonight we are lodging at the Missionary Guest House in Quito. It will be our last night in a bed and our last shower for around 6 days. Check out my facebook page for uploaded photos.

Tomorrow we leave for Tagualo around 7am Central Time. While we are in the village, we are not expecting to have any contact with the States. Please pray for our contact with the Tagualans and for our long journey over the mountains tomorrow.

The Path of Least Resistance

2009-09-01T07:14:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I watched my father in law turn on the garden hose in the backyard of my house. We watched as the water flowed, downhill and away from my crawlspace. In moving a crosstie and cleaning out a downspout, Richard (my father-in-law) taught me a valuable lesson about water. It always flows along the path of least resistance.

The path of least resistance is the easiest to follow. It requires no extra energy or effort, simply point yourself downhill and let gravity do the work. Unless someone dams up the water, it will continue to flow down this path until it dumps into a sewer or is absorbed into the earth.

But this principle is not only true for water, it is true for us as well. Unless we are acted upon by some outside force, it is in our nature to want to follow the path of least resistance. It is the easiest path. It requires the least amount of energy or effort.

And it is almost always the wrong path.

After the Israelites began taking the promised land, Joshua, their leader dies. God had empowered Joshua to lead the Israelites as they sought to conquer the land promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But there was one catch. The Jews were instructed by God to drive out all who lived in the land, even destroying whole cities. The instructions were very explicit and direct. The pathway into the Holy Land was not an easy road. It would require war, and destruction and death.

The book of Judges records what happened.

Judges 1:27-31

But Manasseh did not drive out the people of Beth Shan or Taanach or Dor or Ibleam or Megiddo and their surrounding settlements….

Nor did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites living in Gezer…

Nor did Asher drive out those living in Acco or Sido or Ahlab or Aczib or Helbah or Aphek or Rehob…

Neither did Naphtali drive out those living in Beth shemesh or Beth Anath…

The people of Israel followed the easy path. The path of least resistance. As a result, many of the people living in the promised land were allowed to remain. Soon the Hebrews intermarried with them. Soon they adopted their gods. Soon the God of the Hebrews was merely an afterthought. The path of least resistance would ultimately lead them to division and destruction and captivity.

In what ways are you following the path of least resistance? Are you more concerned with pleasing people or pleasing God? Sometimes doing the hard things is exactly what God wants.

god is not great… I have much to say

2009-08-26T08:13:00.001-07:00

My flight delayed in Baltimore, I began searching for some light reading to help pass some time. Enter god is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens.

I figure that I will have to publish my thoughts in a number of posts, as to place all of my observations in one blog entry would make it entirely too long and cumbersome for even me to read.

So I’ll begin by mentioning how heavy my heart has become even as I read through the first chapter. I’m burdened, not because Chris Hitchens is an atheist (though I must admit that this bothers me); I’m burdened because of the reason for his lack of belief.

In the first few sentences of his book, Hitchens mentions a teacher that he had when he was but a boy in England by the name of Mrs. Watts. She was given the responsibility of teaching students everything from “nature” to Bible (I dare say a downfall of government run education—first the utilization of teachers educating students outside of their areas of expertise, and second, government mandated religious education… Once the government begins instituting religion in the schools, then the government begins controlling not only what my children learn about science and writing, but about God as well… this makes me too uncomfortable to bear).

Back to Mrs. Watts. An offhand comment, innocuous in and of itself. She hadn’t thought all the way through her statement, nor had she realized that a 9 year old Hitchens would be in her class. “So you see children how generous and powerful God is. He has made all of the trees and the grass to be green, which is exactly the color that is most restful to the eyes.”

Immediately, Hitchens recoiled with “embarrassment” for his teacher. He mused, “the eyes were adjusted to nature, not the other way about.”

This statement by Mrs. Watts seemed to be followed by many other ignorant (notice I didn’t say stupid) statements by religious leaders and teachers throughout his life. He discusses another such statement by the headmaster of his school who stated, “You may not see the point of all this faith now, but you will one day when you start to lose loved ones.” This implies, as Hitchens surmises, that religion, regardless of its validity, is good in as much as it gives us comfort. Hitchens (as do I), rejects this notion at once.

The entire first chapter is filled with statement after statement taught to this brilliant man about the church and its doctrine by church leaders, pastors, and teachers.

And most of it is wrong or badly misunderstood.

And this is why my heart is heavy.

You see, it is people who claimed (or had thrust upon them) authority to teach the truth about God and religion. Their well intentioned, but poorly thought through lessons and quips have led this poor gentleman away from God, and because I believe the Bible is true, straight towards an eternity separated from God in Hell.

Even in my post now, as a pastor of a Southern Baptist Church, I see church members who have been taught that the Bible teaches all sorts of things that simply aren’t there, and the truth that is taught is often relayed in shadowed half-truths wrapped up in one or another religious cliché

I have been the Senior Pastor of a church for two years and I have served for the largest portion of my adult life. So far in my ministry career one of the hardest part of my job is re-teaching all of the doctrinal inconsistencies that have been taught as the Word of God when they are nothing more than interpretations (accurate or inaccurate) of men.

Now Hitchen's heart is so hard that he will never listen to the truth that lies behind the inaccurate understanding of scripture that he has in his heart. Aside from a supernatural work of God, this will never happen. (Interestingly enough, it requires a supernatural work of God for all of us to be changed though doesn’t it?)

In short, if you claim to have authority. If you claim to speak for God. If you are a parent answering a question your child has asked; if you are a nursery worker in a church rocking babies; if you are a Sunday School teacher, RA leader or confidant of a child… please, please, please make sure that what you are saying is doctrinally accurate and the complete truth about God. If you don’t, many could be led astray. Many like Chris Hitchens may be turned away from the truth, and in turn lead many others astray in the process.

The stakes are simply too high, and eternity simply too long to be cavalier with our teaching.

One Special Little Girl

2009-07-14T09:10:00.003-07:00

My daughter Emma is four years old, and she is already much wiser than her dear old dad. Last night, as she was saying her prayers she asked God to have daddy’s tube taken out of his arm so that he could feel better.

From her lips to God’s ears.

Today the ordeal that began last December has come to an end. The final chest tube had been removed almost 4 weeks earlier, and as of 11am EST the Picc line no longer found a home in my right arm. My medicines have been adjusted and I will no longer fry when exposed to sun. It is over.

My lung has expanded just like we hoped and that it would. I am expected to recover completely. My doctor, as he left my room this afternoon, bowed his head and looked back at me. “Your recovery is nothing short of miraculous.” He said.

Miraculous. I know. God is just showing off now!

Thoughts from 30 Thousand Feet

2009-07-14T09:10:00.001-07:00

It is amazing how different the world looks from 6 miles up in the air. My flight was delayed out of Baltimore, and although I’m disappointed I’m not at home right now with my three girls, I am currently observing a sunset that I would have missed had my flight been on time.

Romans 8 tells us that all of creation groans in anticipation of Jesus. All of the created order is longing for a day when the curse of sin is lifted and all is restored to perfect harmony… the way it was intended in the beginning.

Looking at the magnificence of God’s creation from 30 thousand feet, it is hard to comprehend how much more perfect, how much more beautiful the New Earth will be. I’m so thankful that I will get to see it. Along with the rest of creation, I look forward to the day when I will see my savior face to face.

Reflections from Worship

2009-07-12T21:40:00.001-07:00

Never in a million years would I want people to think that I don’t enjoy my job. Essentially, I get paid to study God’s word and to teach His people of His love and goodness. Every day I get to work in an office where I’m encouraged to read the Bible, talk with people, and pray to my God.

However, one thing that you must understand is the burdens that are carried by those who are called to full time vocational ministry. Think for a moment of all the burdens you carry in your life. Finances and relationships, jobs and families. Your pastors carry similar burdens. It is unfortunate, but our vocation does not make us immune from our problems.

In addition to our individual burdens, as your pastor I carry yours as well. I lay awake at night praying for your marriages and your finances. For your children and your parents. It is a job I enjoy; one that I love. I wouldn’t trade it for any other job on this earth. But it takes its toll, and from time to time I need to find time to refuel myself.

This last week was incredibly draining. VBS, as wonderful as it is, takes so much energy out of me. It saps me and drains me. This year was no different. I came home most days spent and exhausted. My family suffers the most from this, and as is often the case, the took the brunt of my fatigue.

Saturday night found Jodi and I sitting in a car discussing how empty I felt. Talking about expectations and rest. I needed to experience God in an amazing way. I needed to be reloaded so I could continue His most important work.

And then Sunday happened.

I entered into a worship service where I was supposed to again pour out from my tank into that of the congregation. I don’t know what I expected, but my prayer before the service was simple. I needed God to show up. I couldn’t do it on my own. I simply had nothing left.

As Jason walked into the baptistry to begin “dunking” followers of Jesus I was reminded of how amazing God was. In 2007 FBC Hayden baptized 7 new believers. In the last two weeks we baptized 7 and we have at least that many waiting in the wings for baptism. Already this year we have baptized as many as we baptized all of last year. Certainly God is doing something in our midsts… how amazing to see that. It was refresing to sit in my seat and rejoice with my family of faith the decisions that had been made.

During the baptism I heard Jonathan Slatton speak of his grandfather. What an example of a godly man in his life. I’m so proud that there are still real men in our world who will unashamedly share with their children and grandchildren that being a man is not about beers and women, but about following God with reckless abandon.

As we sang songs about heaven, my focus shifted from my present fatigue towards a future home where every wrong will be made right and every pain will be relieved. I was reminded that one day my body will no longer be ravaged by this horrible disease that cripples it. There will no longer be the need for IV medicines, Picc lines or chest tubes. My lungs will again fill with air and my scars will be gone.

Oh how I long for that day! I couldn’t stop crying. God was filling me up. He was healing my soul. He was giving me what I needed!

Even now on a plane headed toward Maryland, I am continuing to worship my God with the likes of Chris Tomlin and David Crowder, Hillsongs and Toby Mac.

Thank you Lord for filling me up today. Thank you for the boost of energy.

I will not be moved! I’ll say of the Lord you are my shield, my strength, my comfort, deliverer, my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need.

A mighty fortress is our God, a bullwark never failing. Our helper he amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also, the body they may kill, God’s truth abideth still, and He must win the battle.

Praise God on high! Every wrong will be made right! How we long for the day, when every wounded soul will be made whole. So let’s worship Him with a mighty voice, like we’re already with Him in Paradise! Praise God on High! Praise God!

A New Toy

2009-06-24T21:00:00.001-07:00

So the wife and I finally broke down and bought a new laptop. With all of my traveling and with us needing a computer that we could both sync our smartphones to, we settled on a Dell Inspiron Mini 10. Upon opening the package that arrived today, I was pleased to find that this computer comes equipped with a program called Windows Live Writer which allows me to publish to my blog without logging onto blogger.

So perhaps I’ll update my blog a little more often… but probably not.

Bye Bye Bye

2009-05-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

This morning my lovely wife, Jodi proceeded to hook me up to my medicine (as she does every morning and evening). As she began to push sterile saline into my Picc line we began to notice that something wasn't right. Fluid began collecting underneath the sterile dressing that covered my arm. This was followed by blood.

My Picc line had sprung a leak.

Learning from my previous mistakes, I didn't try to fix the problem on my own. Instead I called the nurse immediately. Upon arrival she confirmed our suspicions... the line was old and would have to be removed.

So for the time being I am line-less. Everything is fine, but we are awaiting on the NIH to decide what they want to do. I am scheduled to return in 6 days for a check-up, and frankly, I would love to have about 6 days without a line in my arm. This would mean that they would call in oral anti-fungal drugs for me to take until I returned to Maryland for a visit. The other option would be for me to go and have a new Picc line placed today at UAB... we frankly don't like this option.

Pray that the docs will be content to wait until next week to see my progress. Pray that the best would happen for me, my family, and my church.
Pray I don't go crazy in the mean time not knowing what people are thinking and not being a part of the conversations.

Back in the Saddle

2009-05-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

After three weeks away from my church, today I'm preaching again. Honestly, I'm a little nervous. Please pray that I will not hurt while I'm speaking. Please pray that I won't get out of breath. Pray that God would move among our women today as I call them to fear the Lord.

Positives and Negatives

2009-05-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

This morning, through some knuckleheaded actions I took, as well as some things that were beyond my control my PICC line migrated out of my body quite a bit. This means that the end of the line is not near my heart where it should be, and it means that the line that came out (and may have gone back in) poses a risk of infection. It freaked me out quite a bit.

I have been to the doctor and they have performed an X-Ray and praise God all looks OK. The only fear now is that the line may get infected. So for the next few weeks I will be carrying around thermometers with me everywhere making sure I'm not symptomatic. Please pray that infection will remain at bay.

Last night our church took some time to share what God has done in our lives over the last 3 weeks. Please take some time to listen to it. Click here and then choose "Three Weeks of Captivity for the Glory of God-- a testimonial service." Fair warning: get Kleenex and sit down, it is around 1 and 1/2 hours long. If you like you can skip the first part, that's just me anyway, God was really at work in our congregation!

Lastly, I will share with you a passage of scripture that God laid on two church member's hearts over the last few weeks. It makes me proud, and gives me such hope.

Psalm 91:14-16
Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high because he has known My name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble: I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation

Psalm 92:12-15
The righteous man will flourish like the palm tree, He will grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still yield fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap and very green (The King James says, "They shall be fat an flourishing.") To declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

Cathy Doss followed this Psalm 92 passage by stating that she wanted to see me fat and flourishing. I want to report that I'm well on my way. In my time in Maryland, including 5 days without food I lost 21 pounds. Today, because of my PICC line I was weighed at the doctor and had regained already 10 of those pounds. I'll be fat before you know it!

Some new clothes

2009-05-02T19:28:00.001-07:00

Since my hospitalization began Easter Sunday, I have lost around 20 pounds. As a result, none of my close fit. In addition, because of the chest tube that still is hanging out of my left lung, I cannot tuck any shirt in that I wear.

Hence, a dilemma: do we buy more clothes so that I look normal, just to "grow" out of them; or do I look like an orphan wearing clothes two sizes too large for him.

So today, Jodi and I took a trip to Old Navy and we bought a few pair of pants and some shirts. I truly love that store. As my brother-in-law Jason put it once, if you drive slowely buy the store they will simply throw clothes in the back of your car.

I hope I'll be able to wear the clothes when I put the weight back on... if not, Caleb Corder will have some new clothes to wear!

The end... for now

2009-04-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

I just received word from the Infectious Disease docs. I'm coming home today. I'm making travel arrangements right now.

Exhausted

2009-04-29T13:18:00.001-07:00

So the nurse came back in and told me that I had been released on pass until 9pm tonight. 9pm!
Mom and I headed out to the metro station and headed into DC. Our first stop, the museum of natural history. Our goal was to find some good food and find some presents to bring home to the girls. We found the cafeteria and I commenced to eating. Rotisserie chicken, potato chips and Bryar Nibs. Now cafeteria food at the Smithsonian isn't really that good, but I think it was the best chicken I've ever eaten in my life. I took a picture when I got done.

We went through one exhibit and then made our way to the American History Museum. There I found some gifts for the girls and we saw the Star Spangled Banner. I had to walk up a flight of steps in order to get out of the museum, and whoa! I was whipped. Mom and I headed back to the subway to come back to the hospital. I still have nearly 5 hours on my pass, but I'm exhausted.

Today was a good test for my body. Many of you know that I tend to move at 90mph everywhere I go. Today taught me that I'm going to have to take it easy when I get home, move slowly, and ease back into life. I don't think it will take too long though... you know how much I love to wait!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow

2009-04-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Great news again today! My enzyme numbers have decreased another 300 points overnight even with food! Praise God! Thank you for your prayers! The Lipase is 1003 and the Amylase is 169. Three days ago those numbers were 1900 and >400 respectively. Wow! God's just showing off now!

The doctors came in and were elated that I was handling food and they have decided to progress me to a full diet. Remember, 24 hours ago I was on IV nutrition and hadn't eaten for 5 days. Don't worry I'm taking it slowly. Last night I dreamed about a Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, but I know it will be a few days until I can have one of those.

They are wanting me to eat what I would be eating at home, so if my numbers increase I'm here where they can take care of it, rather than in Hayden where I would have to rely on George to perform an emergency Gall Bladder removal

Dr. Malech told me that if everything stays stable (meaning there doesn't have to be much improvement) that I can go home tomorrow or Friday. I told him that tomorrow sounded fine with me!

So we wait, and we look forward to the morning. Tomorrow may be the day I come home. I can't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to hug my girls. I can't wait to see my wife.

The doctor just came in and told me that tomorrow is the day. I also have been granted a pass to be able to leave the clinical center. Mom and I are currently trying to decide what to do. We may try a short trip into DC just to see how my body reacts to the activity level. Praise God, I don't have to sit in a hospital bed today! God is good!

Words cannot describe what an impact you have had on the people here at the NIH. I shared with the whole CGD team today Mary Grace's plan for fundraising for the Friends of the Clinical Center. Thank you all so much for showing the scientific community what Christians are supposed to do! You all amaze me

Last night

2009-04-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

So I had a small setback last night. After they put me on liquids I had some chicken broth and some Jello washed down with some Ginger Ale and water. I know it doesn't sound that appealing but after not eating for 5 days anything short of goat urine is going to be incredible.

They removed my liquid nutrition and unhooked me from all fluids so I could take a walk. After walking all over the clinical center with mom, I got back to the room... I was exhausted. Apparently, because I wasn't receiving the same fluids and nutrition as I had for the previous few days, my blood sugar and electrolytes bottomed out and I went to sleep around 8pm EST. Sorry for those of you who wanted to speak with me on the phone last night, I was out of it. Around 10pm EST they hooked me back up to fluids (not nutrition, just some lactated ringers) and this morning I feel much better. I'm ordering chocolate pudding, chocolate boost, and skim milk for breakfast. We'll see how my system handles dairy. The resident came in this morning and told me that if I can tolerate more food today that perhaps tomorrow or Friday I may get to come home. We're still praying that my doctor will consider sending me home today.

My pancreatic numbers are not back yet, today. This morning the samples they drew were contaminated (again), so they have to redraw the labs. The nurse just came in to do that right now.

Pray the numbers are decreased even after some food yesterday. Pray my system handles more food today. Pray I can come home to you all soon.

I love you all!

Prayer really works quickly

2009-04-28T12:30:00.001-07:00

I know that Jodi just updated the blog, but I have some more information for you. God is so incredibly good.

Mom and I went for a walk around 2pm (EST) after my shower and we went outside and sat down. My IV infusion beeped complete, and we returned up to the floor. As we entered the floor my nurse met me and said that the doctor was here and wanted to talk with me. The doctor came into my room and told me that they were taking me off of the liquid nourishment ASAP, and they are ordering a liquid diet beginning now. They actually are ready to release me to a complete diet, but the doc and I agreed to take it slow at first with clear liquids and then add more and more liquids tonight and the tomorrow work my way to a full diet.

GOD IS GOOD, and I'M STARVING!

Thank you so much for your prayers. Thank you so much for trusting God to do what is best. Please don't stop praying. We need the pancreatic numbers, which are still quite elevated, to continue to come down, another gigantic drop tomorrow morning would be great. Pray that the food will not upset my digestive system that has been so depraved of food for nearly 5 days now. Pray the food doesn't upset my pancreatic numbers, as that would mean longer in the hospital.

I don't ever think I've been so thankful for Jello.

Lung Update #34...

2009-04-28T11:26:00.001-07:00

Some times consistent rain feels better than a "gully washer" and God has provided us with consistent showerings of His blessing. This afternoon, we have again seen God reveal Himself to our family through the miracle of modern medicine. After a botched first attempt to draw blood this morning, Jeremy's second bloodwork drawn revealed that his pancreatic enzymes have dropped another 400 points! THAT IS FANTASTIC!

We prayed specifically for 500, but we got 400, however if you count the past 2 days we have gotten a drop of 600. REGARDLESS, it is an answer to prayer. Now, his count is still quite elevated (he is around 1300 now and should be around 5-600), but there is serious consult going on with a dietitian in the clinic at this time to discuss what is the best strategy for Jeremy. His digestive system has not been in use in over 4 days, so the acids, enzymes, and fluids that are present are going to be extra sensitive to the reintroducing of any food product. So discussing with a dietitian how to get him off of his nutritional drip and back onto a self-ingested diet is going to be tricky. There is discussion about whether or not he can even have water today. Pray they let him have some liquids. Pray they at least let him have some water. There is talk of sending him home on the liquid diet. There is talk of sending him home on restriction. There is tons of talk. Pray that all the talk revolves around the best interest of the patient including the longing of the patient to go home. The surgeons are taking one last x-ray today to insure that the smaller tube they have inserted is in the correct place. They are pretty sure they have. After this x-ray, he is completely released from surgical doctors and only under the care of Dr. Malech. So pray for the wisdom of Dr. Malech and his team and pray for their mercy and desire to work with this patient. Pray that the enzymes take another gigantic plunge tomorrow. Another round of praying for 500 would be great. If the numbers in the morning look that good, I can bet that Dr. Malech will feel better about releasing Jeremy. Pray big and praise the Lord for His great blessings and mercy. Pray he can come home TOMORROW! Wouldn't it rock if we could have a prayer meeting tomorrow night welcoming home our pastor? Or just to get him home even in the wee hours of tomorrow night would be grand. I know that some of you can't wait to pinch his cheeks and right now I think he wants to see everyone so bad, he would endure cheek pinching, and squeezing of all proportions.

A little pain, a little groggy, should sleep well tonight

2009-04-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the minor surgical procedure downstairs. It was a doozy. They didn't completely sedate me, but wow, I'm knocked out. The large chest tube that was roughly 3/4 in to 1in in diameter has now been removed and replaced with a much smaller chest tube that is roughly the size of one of my PICC line tubes. Really, compared to what I've had, this is tiny. Overnight this tube will drain into a large laptop size bucket, but that will be replaced on the morrow with a smaller drainage collector. This collection receptacle will be very mobile and I can hide it beneath clothes and I can come home with it. At this point, for all intensive purposes, the surgical team here is finished with me for a while. They have made wonderful statements about me, statements that are a testimony to God's goodness. They shared with me that I actually look stronger now, than I did the day before my surgery, and that my body has recovered around 90% from the MAJOR operation that it had undergone.

Now when I say major.... I mean major... I'll show you the scar.... it was big.

So pray that my new tube won't cause too much pain tonight as I sleep. Pray I will be able to rest. Pray that my Pancreatic enzymes will fall dramatically tomorrow. A dramatic change would be incredible.

I love you all and am so very proud of each of you.

Now that was fast

2009-04-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

As I was typing the last post, the doctor came back in and told me that the procedure to remove my current chest tube and replace it with a smaller more malleable one will take place sometime this afternoon, NOT tomorrow. This is good news, in the fact that they are moving quickly which means less time here. Pray that the minor operation (you may call it a procedure if you wish) goes well today, I will be sedated, but not completely put to sleep.

Just a little more info

2009-04-27T09:00:00.001-07:00

Jodi, as always, has done a wonderful job of filling you in on my current status. There are only a few things to add:

First of all, a big praise out to God, although I still have one chest tube clinging from my side, they have shortened the tube considerably and have detached me from the big bulky chest tube container that we had to carry around everywhere. Instead they have attached the tube to a smaller container which will collect the ever diminishing fluid that drains from my lung. Why is this a praise you ask? For the first time in two weeks I was allowed to take a shower. It was hot, and probably a bit too long. It is funny how the little things make you feel so much better.

As Jodi mentioned, tomorrow they will place a smaller tube in place of the larger one in my lung. That tube will be with me for 4-6 weeks, but, just like my Picc line many of you will never see it.

Secondly, thank you thank you thank you for being a church that understands what the church is supposed to do. So many of you have fasted and prayed and cried tears. Thank you. You all totally rock!

Lastly, continue to pray. Right now the limiting factor for me going home is my pancreatic enzymes. The two enzymes in question are called Amalase and Lypase. These numbers in normal human beings without pancreatitis run <100 and around 400 (don't bother me with units, I don't know, I'm not a doctor). In my blood cultures, they are running 400 and 1700 respectively. I spoke with the Dr today and asked if I could still be released with high enzyme numbers since I am not exhibiting any other symptoms. In short, he said that if he saw a trend in decreasing numbers then he would consider it. They need to put me on a regular diet before they feel comfortable releasing me to go home. Pray those numbers will come down. Pray that they will see a trend. Pray that they will send me home.

I love you all.

Lung Update #32 - part b

2009-04-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

So Jeremy just texted me and shared with me that he is getting to take a shower. THAT IS HUGE! He has not been allowed to do that since being in the hospital. We have had a lot of sponge baths, but he hasn't been able to completely immerse in a shower. They just bandaged him up really well and then changed the dressing post shower. You know that is going to feel fantastic and rejuvenating. So PRAISE THE LORD FOR A SHOWER!

Continue to pray for the enzymes to go down. We finally got someone to give us our goal in terms of an answer to what we should be aspiring for in terms of enzyme #s. He should be around 5-600, but instead he is currently at 1700. So we need the numbers to plummet tomorrow. Jeremy is thinking that Dr. Malech will not let him go until Jeremy is on a regular diet and maintaining good enzyme counts. I am praying harder than that. Pray that tomorrow they drop dramatically enough that they let Jeremy start liquid diet tomorrow. If they continue to drop on Wednesday, than I am praying they let him come home and start his low fat diet or even take the risk of sending him home on just fluids. I can make some mean jello and we already have some Dora popsicles. :)

As Jeremy has already informed you, he is going to have his tube removal and replacement procedure this afternoon instead of tomorrow. I AM ELATED. Here is the promises I hear in that. That is one day closer to home. He can have a "surgical" procedure performed today, and that will give the doctors no leverage in arguing that he "just" had surgery tomorrow when we begin discussing a change in diet and possible travel. Changing the tube will also give Jeremy further mobility and assist him in transportation and movement in and around the hospital. Changing the tube out will give a less bulky mass in his body to aggravate and annoy his system and his overall well being.

There is a definite change today. Monday has come and God has been BIG. I pray you see that and that He has been BIG FOR YOU exactly where you are in life today. I cannot tell you the enormity of the pressure that has been lifted off my chest. God wrestled with me all night last night trying to get me to release my anxiety and I couldn't shake it. When I got the text that they were pulling the tube this afternoon, it was as if someone had popped a balloon in my chest and all the air just exploded out of my body. What release and amazement. I know we are far from done, but HALLELUJAH FOR TODAY!

Lung Update #32 - Well...

2009-04-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

...Jeremy is now talking with the Infectious Disease doctors and they are discussing the plan of attack for the next 24-48 hours. Here is what God has been faithful to do thus far. The CT scan did not reveal any real significant change in his lung. Don't give up yet. So, Dr. Quaong, who is back from his "conference", stated to Jeremy this morning that he was not surprise at all with this. He said that the size of the mass that was removed from his thoracic cavity would yield a sizeable void that would need to eventually be refilled by living tissue. Dr. Quaong said that he didn't expect this void to be fille by now. What? Jeremy and I both said, this would have been great to know a week ago, while we were waiting on other "fretting" doctors to make a call on this final tube. Dr. Quoang has scheduled Jeremy for another procedure tomorrow morrning where they will "downsize" his current chest tube. He will come home with a container that is about the size of a brick. The current tube container is about the size of a laptop. This will remain in for 4-6 weeks. I gotta tell you that this stinks, but at the same time, there was mention of a homecoming, so IT IS WORTH IT.

Dr. Quaong says that it will take a considerable amount of time for this void to fill in - it took a considerable amount of time for it to be created (with the growing fungal tissue). If Jeremy were not a CGD patient, they would pull the chest tube today and send him home with the void. However, they are taking extra precaution with him for fear of infection setting in. We will take that precaution. He is precious cargo. Precious!

Now, the pancreatic enzymes are down 200 points today, but they are still elevated. Jeremy is currently talking with the doctors about that. Dr. Quaong is certain that Dr. Malech will make the overall call on that. Jeremy asked if they could just send him home on a lowfat diet to push the proper care of the pancreas and to have his blood drawn daily at home to check the enzymes. They are discussing that right now.

It is possible that he could come home tomorrow or Wednesday. Pray the enzymes continue to go down. Pray that he can eat soon. He thinks that he will be NPO for a week. I can bare to think about that. We need something larger than 200 points to shave off by tomorrows bloodwork. 500 would be awesome! So keep praying. God has heard you. Jeremy is one step closer to coming home today. He is one step closer to healing and restoration.

Pray now for his strength. Pray for his endurance. I heard some hope in his voice. Pray that it isn't crushed by Satan's evil words or deeds. So those of you that have been fasting, eat. God has honored your sacrifice.

I do not know about my travel arrangements yet. I am still waiting on him to let me know how much longer they are predicting. Jeremy's mother will be leaving on Wednesday. If Jeremy is staying past Wednesday, than I will go and get him, and I will leave Wednesday. If he comes hom tomorrow or Wednesday, I will most likely stand here waiting with open arms. Pray for wisdom. Pray for decision making.

A song

2009-04-27T05:24:00.001-07:00

Last night as I lay in bed unable to sleep I began to pray to God for His peace. I began to picture a large loving papa who allows me to crawl up in His lap to find comfort and security. Literally, this chorus began to play into my mind. This morning, post CT scan, I pulled out the computer and jotted down some more lyrics. I may need to rewrite some words, but they are very meaningful to me, and they are a pretty accurate depiction of how I feel this morning. I thought I would share them with you.

So let me crawl up in your lap

And hold me with the arms that hung the stars

Let me rest with you a while

Fill me with your peace

Fill me with your strength

Remind me of who I am

And who you are

Let me rest with you a while

The road before me is winding

And shadows darken every slinking turn

I don't think that I'm strong enough

to walk the road laid out for me

So as all hope seems to be lost...

Let me crawl up in your lap

And hold me with the arms that hung the stars

Let me rest with you a while

Fill me with your peace

Fill me with your strength

Remind me of who I am

And who You are

Let me rest with you a while

I've never felt so lonely

I've never felt so far from my home

Depression filters over me

I can't do this on my own

I need your new mercies this morning

Please let me crawl up in your lap

And hold me with the arms that hung the stars

Let me rest with you a while

Fill me with your peace

Fill me with your strength

Remind me of who I am

And who you are

Let me rest with you a while.

I'm a child of the king!

A chosen one of God!

The apple of your eye!

Your grace surrounds my circumstance

Your love injects my soul with your greatness

Reminding me of your grace

And giving me the strength.

And although the road is dark and winding

And darkness creeps into the the recesses of my soul

Your strength will see me through

Any path that is from you

But when I feel weak and tired and alone

Let me crawl up in your lap

And hold me with the arms that hung the stars

Let me rest with you a while

Fill me with your peace

Fill me with your strength

Remind me of who I am

And who you are

Let me rest with you a while.

By and by when the morning comes

2009-04-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

I was awakened early this morning (around 5am EST). The nurse per custom drew blood and sent it off to the labs to test for my pancreatic enzyme levels. At 6:45am EST I went down to CT to have a scan done of my lungs and abdomen.

So now I wait. Monday is here. Pray that God will be big. Pray the enzyme numbers have decreased. Pray the space in my lung has been filled. Pray I will not need any more surgery. Pray I can come home.

My God is a God of peace. I pray that right now, he would fill my heart with his peace, remind me of who I am, and remind me of who He is. I'll let you know as soon as I hear from the doctors.

Lung Update #31 - Rise & Shine & Give God the Glory, Glory

2009-04-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

If you are still up, 6:00am tomorrow will be the time of the CT scan. That is 6 our time (it will be 7:00am where Jeremy is). They usually take 15-30 minutes. Saturate that time with prayers of WHOLENESS FOR HIS ENTIRE BODY, ESPECIALLY THE LUNG AND THORACIC AREA. Pray calmness over his body tomorrow - not over his pancreas. Whatever is causing these numbers to be up, be it God or another organ that God is well aware of, we need to pray for peace and restittution to Jeremy's entire body. Pray that Jeremy can begin food again tomorrow. He is down to an insanely low weight class now and I joke with him that it took me 8 years to get him out of that classification. I am going to have to buy some lard, I suppose, and cook everything in that when he gets home. Of course, I will baloon as well, but for him - whatever it takes.

Pray for continued wisdom on all of us making decisions about what is best for Jeremy. Pray for the doctors to be satisfied with what they see in the morning. Pray for the radiologist to be alert, awake, and accurate. Pray for Jeremy's rumbling tummy to be silenced as I know it is being hard on him. Pray for his body to HEAL. Pray that God just wash over him with healing water and precious peace.

AS SOON AS I KNOW SOMETHING YOU WILL KNOW TO. Pray until you hear from me and then pray some more. God has washed peace over me about this and I will wait on the Lord and find joy as He renews my strength daily. You are all amazing.

At least we're moving forward...

2009-04-26T13:21:00.001-07:00

Finally, after not eating for 3 full days, the Docs finally decided to take a look at my pancreas and gall bladder via ultrasound to see if there was inflammation or gall stones.

We received good news and bad. My pancreas was not inflamed. My gall bladder showed no signs of stones. My liver looked completely normal. This is good news, because it means that I don't have to have surgery tonight to remove my gall bladder. It is bad news is that we still don't know what is causing the elevation in pancreatic numbers. I spoke with the doctor and he said that the pancreatitis is probably a result of medications that I have been on since surgery. However, we have paired down those meds and I haven't stimulated my digestive system by eating since Thursday night (I had penne pasta with a piece of grilled chicken... it was glorious!).

So we wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow morning we will have more blood work to see if the numbers are decreasing. We will also have a CT scan scheduled to see if the space in my chest has filled in with good tissue.

It was so good to see you all today. I watched the entire service from the webcam in the balcony. Jason and the rest of the staff is to be commended, they are doing a great job in my absence.

I love you all and miss you. Tomorrow is God's day, I have a feeling He just might show up.

Morning by Morning

2009-04-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

In a few minutes, I will be able to speak to my church via the wonderful world of the internet. In the mean time, I figured I would update you quickly on this morning's events. My pancreatic numbers are still elevated. This is puzzling my doctors something fierce. They don't understand why they are elevated, and especially why I have no other symptoms. The Doctors have called in a technician to perform an ultrasound of my liver and pancreas that will happen first thing this afternoon. Hopefully, we will be able to see why my enzyme levels are the way they are.

I have struggled more this morning than I have in a long time. I have spent a lot of time crying. Mom and I went to the chapel service here at the NIH this morning and although it wasn't Hayden, it was nice to be in a room with a dozen or so other followers of Jesus Christ. That was encouraging. Upon returning to my room, an old hymn was repeating over and over in my brain. I quickly looked up the scripture on which the hymn is based and this is what I found:

Lamentations 3:17-26
I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord." I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning in thee. Thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not. As thou hast been, thou forever wilt be.
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand has provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

I'm really tired of being in the hospital

2009-04-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

It has become a habit of mine to admit my faults to the congregation at FBCH. Today will be no different. I'm a control freak. I like to be in control of what is going on. I like to affect my circumstances and my life. Here in the hospital, I cannot do that, and it is killing me. I was just sharing with my mother, who came into visit me today in Jodi's absence that I have asked the doctors what I can do, more than any other question since I've been here. Currently, there is nothing I can do. God has to do it. That is hard for me. It is a struggle for me. I don't like not being in control.

And so here is the latest on me. The enzymes that denote pancreatitis are still high and in fact rising. Currently they are around 1500, which is twice as high as they should be. To make matters worse there is no really a good explanation as to why they are elevated. The Doctors are convinced that it is medically induced and that as a result of surgery the numbers are high. So currently I am what the medical community calls NPO, which to us lay people means I cannot eat... anything. I'm receiving nourishment through an IV, which is about as much fun as having my head stapled to the floor. My stomach growls and I cannot put anything in it. They are treating my pancreatitis by resting my digestive system and giving me steroiods. Pray that tomorrow the numbers will be lower, as they have steadily increased for the last three days.

In addition to the high levels of pancreatic enzymes there remains a hole in my thoracic cavity. I spoke with my Mom-mom today and shared with her about the hole in my lung. She asked, "Why is there a hole in your lung?" I told her, "because there used to be a big piece of fungus that they had removed, and now the space needs to be filled up with lung tissue, scar tissue, or diaphram." For some reason, my body isn't responding as quickly as the surgeons would hope.

Add these two complications together, and it means a longer hospital stay for me. Here is the latest: On Monday they will take a CT scan of my lungs. If the space has closed up (this needs to be your prayer), then they will pull the remaining chest tube, and I will be one step closer to coming home. If, however, the space in my lungs has not filled up, then they will consider performing an additional surgery to move the lung into place. This is the worst of the options awaiting my Monday scan. Please pray that surgery will not need to be an option.

As far as my pancreatic enzymes, they are doing blood work every day, and we are praying that the numbers will decrease beginning tomorrow. The good news is that I am asymptomatic with regard to my pancreatitis which means there is no nausea, vomiting, pain, or fever.

Jodi shared with me that there were some 50 women who met today at the church in order to approach the throne of God on my behalf. I'm humbled by how much you all love me and care for me. It is amazing to see a church that get "it." Please keep praying. Pray for the enzymes to return to normal. Pray for the spot to completely go away on Monday. Pray that I can come home soon. I miss my girls badly. I miss my wife (although she has only been gone 12 hours), and I miss my church. I cannot wait to see you all again.

I believe I am going to get to speak with you tomorrow via the wonderful world of the Internet. I will be praying for you all and your services as you praise God for His goodness. It is my goal to attend worship in the chapel here at the NIH. God bless you, and good night.

Lung Update #27 - We Need a Second Wind

2009-04-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

Some of you are already receiving word of the verdict we have been given as of this afternoon. I refrained from sending an immediate email as we took a break to go and process our news and make decisions for our family. Those of you who are unaware, here is our latest and here is where we are. The x-ray that was taken this morning of the thoracic cavity revealed that the pocket of air that is needing to be filled with lung tissue is just not filling like they need it to do in order to remove the tube in good conscious. There is little to no fluid draining from the area anymore; however, what usually happens when the body has a void within it is a filling of the void with something. It can most likely fill with fluid and infectious matter and scar tissue, which would be harmful to Jeremy in the long run causing further discomfort and further surgery. Jeremy's lungs are "older" than they should be for a 31 year old male. By that, the doctor means his lung tissue is tougher and not quite as malleable as you would typically see and therefore the expansion of the lung tissue is taking longer.

They are giving him the weekend to rest (he will also be NPO ALL WEEKEND - IV nutrients - NO FOOD). His pancreatic numbers are quite elevated and they really want those numbers to decline in obvious descent over the next 48 hours. Therefore he has also gone back to just the medications that he was on prior to surgery (2 antifungals, 1 antibiotic). They are hoping this will resolve the issue and avoid true pancreatitis. If the air pocket has not filled with lung tissue by Monday when they do the next CT scan, then they are planning to perform a second surgical procedure either Monday or Tuesday. They will go back into the area and move around muscle mass and the diaphragm to fill in the void so that it will no longer exist and will no longer be at risk for filling with infection. WE DO NOT WANT ANOTHER SURGERY. I ask that you join us for the next 48 hours and give these two issues to our Heavenly Father. Beg of God to inflate and stretch the left lobe of the lung in order to fill that void. Beg of God to allow Jeremy's pancreatic enzymes to go down. I know that it feels as if you have been praying for weeks and seeing just small victories. But do not lose heart, those victories are ENORMOUS to me. Thank you for being faithful to pray with us. Starting tomorrow morning, I will be in a 48 hour true fast for Jeremy. If you are physically able, I ask you to join me. If you are not, then just pray when you think of us. God will honor any word utter unto His throne. Your position is your heart, nothing more. God is thankful to just hear your thoughts and voice spoken and directed to Him.

Jeremy's mother will be coming to be with him over the weekend. I am going to come home for a visit with the girls. My prayer is that my trip home is to stay and prepare the way for his return on Monday or Tuesday when they release him because God has delivered us once again from the pit. However, if God needs this void to be addressed by a surgeon, then so be it, and I will return to assist Jeremy in recovery once more. Pray that I not have to come back and that his time with his mother is sweet and strengthening. She is a nurse and will be just as much of a hound on Jeremy and the doctors as I am, maybe even more.

God is good and I am humbled by what is yet to come.

"Where do I go when I need a shelter?
Where do I go when I need a friend?
Where do I go when I need some helping?
Where do I go?...
BACK ON MY KNEES AGAIN"

"There I am before the one who CHANGES ME."

Lung Update #26 - Friday Restrictions

2009-04-24T05:40:00.001-07:00

They have opted not to do the CT scan as of yet today. Jeremy did have an x-ray, but that does not mean very much. The doctors will be conferencing at 11:00 this morning to discuss what is best for Jeremy in terms of removal of the last tube and the monitoring of his status over the day. His pacreatic enzymes have elevated again. As a result, he is NPO for the entire day - that is NO FOOD or DRINK. He was SO GOOD yesterday with his diet. His daily fat gram count restriction is 40 grams and he ate 26 grams the ENTIRE DAY.

He is also feeling pretty crummy this morning. He cannot really describe the symptoms, just that he doesn't feel well. So the steady climb we were making has paused. We really need you to bathe him in prayer this morning. Pray that whatever is causing his discomfort or weakness or just blah feeling will cease. He is receiving an IV of nutrients today, but that will not completely strengthen him like a good meal will. We ask you to pray for his enzymes to GO DOWN. Pray that this "starving" does just that. Pray that he can rest some today in between all the consults and poking and prodding. Pray that he does not have pancreatitis. Satan is trying hard to rob Jeremy of joy and peace and we need Satan to be banned from this place. We need a hedge of protection around him. We need the Jeremy that was beginning to show to not go away.

Pray for his resolve and for his spirits. Pray for his health and continual improvement. Pray they still do the CT and pull this tube. I still feel that would make him feel better. Pray for wisdom on all people today - me, Jeremy, Dr. Kemp, Dr. Shrump, Dr. Malech, nurses, and techs. Pray for no setbacks, only steps forward. Even if they are baby steps, we are ok with steps forward.

Lung Update #25-- And then there was one-- by Jeremy

2009-04-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, God continues to amaze us here in MD. Although we are not out of the woods yet, this afternoon Jodi and I got a gigantic surprise as the Drs came in to check up on us. We thought that they would let us know that everything looked good and plan to move forward with the CT scan tomorrow morning. However, upon their arrival they shared with us that chest tube #3 was going to be pulled immediately! WOW! Within minutes Dr. Kemp had prepared himself and was removing the tube from my lung. Now there only remains one piece of foreign plastic in my body. We told the Docs that if they wanted to go ahead and remove the last tube tonight or tomorrow that we would be willing to cooperate fully, but they seemed unwavering in their desire to wait. It appears that although there is little to no fluid still draining from the hole where this infection once resided, the lung still has not rebounded enough to fill the space, leaving an air pocket behind. If they remove the final tube, then the space could get infected and I could be in a boatload of a predicament. Anyway, tomorrow the surgeons will consult with my CGD doctors and hopefully come up with a plan to remove the final tube and clear me for home. We will know more tomorrow.

Please pray for the doctors as they confer with one another. Pray that they will take into consideration how desperately we want to be home and come up with a plan to make that happen as early next week as possible.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, cards, care-packages, letters, cookies, candies, games, and outpourings of love. They do help the healing go faster, and cookies and candy bars also offer as good bribes for doctors and nurses! Keep praying! We both love you all very much and cannot wait to see you again.-- Jeremy

Lung Update #24 - Be specific

2009-04-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

Emilie knows me so well and knows exactly what I need to read each morning to start my day off right! Ha! Emilie doesn't know me from Eve, but the God that Emilie Barnes, my devotional author, serves knows me and inspires her to write just the noted words to inspire and spur me. (I have met Emilie Barnes, but that's not important) This morning she expressed the necessity of having measuring standards for your dreams. They will remain dreams, illusions, if you do not seek to fulfill them by orchestrating a plan. If you truly desire to accomplish something, than set a time limit or a deadline. Also, give yourself awareness of your parameters. That is to say, don't seek to lose 50 lbs in 2 weeks - that is NOT POSSIBLE. Instead, lose 50 lbs in 6 months with a goal each month along the way to help you monitor your work towards that goal. I am a task manager and a LIST MAKER. If you don't know me, which by now, I am sure that you all feel that you do, you are probably not aware of my obsession with lists. I have been making grocery lists since high school. I make a list for packing for EVERY TRIP WE HAVE EVER BEEN ON. I hate getting somewhere and feeling the defeat of leaving something behind. I make weekly achievement lists. I make lists on post-its at school of things to accomplish each day. I have a problem.

As I reflected on what Emilie was illustrating in her devotional today, I was all the more aware of how important it is to be specific in our petitions to the Lord. It doesn't bother him when we are vague or somewhat rambling, but it delights him when we think through our needs and specifically list them to him demonstrating that we entrust Him with these burdens. Grasp that! God wants to hear the specifics, EVEN THE SMALL STUFF. He wants to know that you trust Him with every, EVERY aspect of your life. These past few weeks we have been making specific requests for Jeremy and for healing and endurance. I think we can take it even further. Let's talk with God about an index, a measuring device to give evidence to His divine intervention and provisions. Think about how God has been all the more evident in His faithfulness to us when we have done that. For example, I asked you to join me 2 nights ago in praying that ONE tube be pulled. What happened yesterday? Our specific deadline was met. WOW! Now, don't walk away thinking that every time you lay this type of request before the Father He will grant it. "God I need a new job by tomorrow." That might be asking for the 50 lbs in 2 weeks. Be realistic. "God, I need a promise of an interview in the next 48 hours." And then do your part so He can do His part as He watches you faithfully trust in His love.

Pray for the requests I mentioned last night, but do so with specifics. Jeremy spoke with Dr. Kemp this morning and we have already seen some of our petitioning come to fruition. Dr. Kemp said that they plan to monitor the fluid production of Tube #3 today and if it continues to produce little to no fluid, than they will do a CT scan this afternoon and possibly pull Tube #3. If they do not perform the CT scan this afternoon, Jeremy is the first one on the docket for a CT scan tomorrow morning at 7:30am (6:30am CST). They will again assess where the air and fluid is, if there is any, and decide if, and how many tubes they are pulling. Truthfully, the best case scenario is postponing the CT until tomorrow and finding no fluid or air and pulling both tubes. If they do the CT scan this afternoon, and pull Tube #3, than we will have to wait another 48 hours for another CT scan because of the exposure to radiation. Therefore, we would be well into the weekend and most likely would be pushed over until Monday when Dr. Quaong arrives. We spoke with one of the fellows on Dr. Malech's team today and asked her to be our advocate for the removal of both tubes. We stated that we would remain on campus (the Lodge or whatever) after they remove both tubes if they would at least give him the relief of removing both tubes. She agreed that after tomorrow, if the tubes are producing no output, than it would be senseless to leave a "dry" tube in him for 2 more entire days. So, we have someone else on our team and we have you all on our team. Pray that today, another day of stability, is a day of productivity. Pray that his lungs continue to expand. Pray that the fluid slows to NOTHING, because it has all drained out of his body. Pray with a deadline that God will provide evidence of His good and perfect work tomorrow morning with the CT scan. Pray, if you are awake, with us during the CT scan tomorrow morning at 7:30am (6:30 CST). We would love to be on a plane Monday, but we would be ecstatic to be on a plane Saturday or Sunday, but I will take Monday.

Praise the Lord, today Jeremy walked to x-ray (no wheelchair). They are still restricting his diet, so low fat. Boo. The advocate is going to try and change that for us as well since he has now lost even more weight. I won't even tell you because it is sickening. All you fantastic creators of down home Southern cooking get your best recipes on. It's time for a fattening of the pastor and a pounding of the new music guy. I love church potluck! Whoo hoo. Listen, if you aren't a member of a local congregation - you ARE MISSING OUT PEOPLE!

Praise the Lord, the fungal specimen removed has begun to grow. This is huge. They can now compare it to other samples they have taken from Jeremy, including the vertebrae infection from '06-'07. This will also give them a better idea of how to attack any remaining infection in his body by identifying which drug best attacks the specimen! THIS IS GREAT! This is a long term praise. Whoo hoo! We also just spoke with Dr. Malech, who also said he would be our advocate and also expressed the 'artistry" mentality of a surgeon more than the "doctor" mentality of a surgeon. Jeremy is a work of art to the surgeon and he is making final strokes, so he doesn't want to put Jeremy out on the auction block in any other way than perfect because it is a reflection of the surgeon's work. YADA YADA! I know.

Pray for my dealings with Southwest today that they be merciful as I change my flight once more. Pray for Emma and Abbi as the time apart continues. We got to see them last night and it was GREAT!. Pray for our endurance and for God's glory.

Lung Update #23 - Counting down...

2009-04-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

...I would like to say until departure and give you a certain date, but it is not currently known. I am aware that you have been updated by Kaci about our latest in a nutshell. Our enormous praise today was that God, AGAIN, faithfully answered our specific prayer. The doctor finally came around about 12:30 to inform us that the reason they canceled the procedure was to pull a chest tube instead of repositioning. They pull tubes in the room, so around 1:00 EST, Jeremy had the largest and longest chest tube removed. HOORAY! He can already tell the difference. He said that he feels his chest expanding and feels his muscles contracting in that area again. He didn't realize he wasn't feeling it until the feeling was re-established. I hear him breathing deeper and see him puffing his chest out all the more. So this was the perfect one to go. It ran all the way up the frontal area of his left lobe.

Jeremy has also been detached from his PCA (self-induced pain medication) along with all other consistent fluids. He is only attached to the IV pole when they are administering his antifungal drugs - the same ones that he was on when we were home. I never thought I would be so grateful to return to just administering those medications, but God has reminded me that it can always be worse. ALWAYS. Jeremy is feeling little pain and is only on percoset as needed. He has been taken off of his "anti-hiccup" medicine because we wanted to see if he was really over the hiccups, not to mention that medication was contributing to his lethargy. Already, tonight, I can tell that he is more alert and somewhat more conversational than he has been in 11 days. YEA!

We expressed to the doctor our frustration with the continued delay of removing the other tubes and it seems that our "fellow" is being restricted on what he can allow us to do until the head surgeon returns from his week out of town at a conference. Dr. Quaong, the surgeon that performed Jeremy's fungal extraction, is this surgeon that is out of town. He has been out of town since Wednesday LAST WEEK. We are a tad frustrated by this order. However, we are not above praying through this restriction. Dr. Kemp and his team want the following things to happen. According to this morning's CT scan, Jeremy has a small pocket of air near Chest Tube #3. This is the most recent tube that was inserted. They will leave it there as they await his lung to further inflate and fill in this cavity. If the lung does not continue to expand quickly, there is a chance that fluid could fill into this cavity and again prevent the lung from expanding adequately. As a result, they are going to leave the tube in until the lung expands. SO PRAY THE LUNG EXPANDS. We pray this, not only because it would mean there would be no excuse to leave the tube in place, but also because it would mean that his lungs were FULLY EXPANDING AND WORKING APPROPRIATELY.

The doctor shared that he understood our frustration, but we did throw the small children at home card along with the statistics-show-you-heal-better-at-home card. He said that he understood and tried to comfort us that we had been improving - yada yada. The truth is, Dr. Kemp is a fellow and he is only in the authority to do "so much". The final say goes with Dr. Shrump - Dr. Quaog's stand-in - or Dr. Quaong. So the next thing that wee need you to pray is that all of the fluid that needs to drain (ALL OF THE FLUID THAT IS REMAINING IN THE THORACIC CAVITY THAT DOES NOT BELONG) overnight tonight. You need it to be to a slow drip, like a faucet that is turned off tomorrow. This will reveal that there is little fluid collecting and little fluid draining and therefore reveal no need for a tube anymore. This is how we got today's tube out. There was little fluid amounting in the collection bin, and his CT scan showed no more fluid to drain. Dr. Kemp says that, in order to not continually expose Jeremy to radiation, they will take tomorrow off and then have another CT scan on Friday. Right now, Dr. Kemp thinks the results of this CT will be a repositioning of the tubes to better drain the remaining fluid. I am praying for a miracle. I am praying that the fluid is gone and Kemp and Schrump cannot help but consider the thought of removing the tubes.

Even if they do not release us until Saturday, getting all the tubes out would bring yet another NEW MAN. Jeremy is already better NOW than he was 10 hours ago. He is getting around better and maneuvering more easily. There is only so much ease in maneuvering with two unwanted appendages. Now, don't get me wrong, I know the doctors want to send him home healthy so that he does not have to return. We don't want to have to return either, but we don't want to limit God. I will tell you this - Jeremy has a new roommate and I think I know why we are still here. He is having surgery tomorrow to remove part of his pancreas because he has pancreatic cancer. Pray for us as we attempt to minister to him. It appears that he does not really have anybody - he is here alone. I have also heard him talk to someone on the phone of the hopelessness of his cancer. He is truly a pleasant man, so I know there is an opportunity coming for us to share. Pray that we seize it.

Pray for endurance and perseverance. We see the light, but we cannot really tell right now the distance because it is blinking somewhat. We will finish this race because we can do all things and truly this is nothing compared to what other people are enduring - really. Pray that the hope that we have spills out onto others - including medical professionals. Several have already told us that we are different and very special. We tell them that God makes us who we are and nothing more. May our words be His words and our thoughts, His thoughts.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE WONDERFUL PACKAGES WE GOT TODAY. WE ARE SO EXCITED TO GET ALL OF THE YUMMIES AND BOOKS AND MAGAZINES. This is unbelievable. You are unbelievable people. We are so not worthy of this love. Thank you for taking my suggestions and going absolutely berserk with them. Our stamina tomorrow will be strengthened because we will constantly be entertained and fed. The brownies and cookies are delicious!

THANK YOU FOR MY TRIP TO THE SPA. I even had some crazy guy at the 7-11 I stopped at on the way home tell me that I looked like Christina Aguillera. I laughed pretty hard and told him that he had no idea what that did for me. :) Thank you for letting us see the girls tonight! THAT WAS SUCH A BLESSING! I cannot wait to hold them both. I may never let them go.

Tomorrow I will give you more great news. I am confident of that. Each day that he is up and moving and chatty is a better day. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Lung Update #22 - Waiting & Praying

2009-04-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Jeremy has had the CT scan this morning and is now in a waiting phase. They were originally planning to perform the CT scan and then come back to get him for his procedure (the repositioning or removal of the tubes). We waited and were informed by the nurse that they were on their way to get him for the procedure. However, the call for the escort to come get him was cancelled and they would let us know when they were coming at a later time. Many things could be happening. They could be full down in the minor procedures area and Jeremy is having to wait. There could have been a more serious procedure for someone else that must be completed right now and so they bumped Jeremy in order to get this person in. Or, they could be re-evaluating Jeremy's CT and consulting other physicians on what is best in terms of treating his lungs. Pray that they PULL ONE. Pray that it seem impossible in terms of logic to leave one of them in. I can understand backing out two of them, but let's get at least one gone.

Pray for them to hurry up, though because he is actually willing to eat and we need to get some food in him. He cannot eat until after the procedure, nor can he have any fluids, so we need to get this show on the road. He even asked the nurse if he could go down to the cafeteria with me after the procedure, so I a m thinking he is wanting some escape time. Pray he feels well enough to do so. He felt good two days ago, after the procedure, so it is possible. He has now walked twice this morning. The first time, he made 6 laps as we played the Alphabet game to pass the time. We just went again once more and that has worn him out.

Thanks for enduring my little rants last night. I was obviously delirious. I will try to not send any more whiny messages. It was just your little peak to see I am human. :) A jug of Milo's when I get home will be added to the grocery list. Oh, and please let my precious HMS friends know, I have a bag of pretzels and these nifty little containers (about the size of 2 pats of butter) of creamy peanut butter that are more than sufficient for the time being. Heehee! Hug and kiss my girls again tonight. I cannot wait to see them!

Lung Update #21 - Short & Sweet & Mindless

2009-04-21T20:08:00.001-07:00

Ok, I am not going to lie to you all, I am tired. Today, our day of stability ordered by the doctors, was just that - a day of little activity in terms of medical procedures and such. So there are many positives that came of the day. However, because we were unable to see any giant leaps forward, it was somewhat of a struggle today too. Now, once again, let me list our progress. We have now gone 2 1/2 days without hiccups, fever, or nausea. The amount of fluid filling the drainage tubes is reducing drastically. This means the area that they are draining is becoming less and less filled with fluid. Today, Jeremy walked 6 times. He ate two meals, 3 if you could his 1/2 bowl of apple jacks this morning. He was put on a restricted diet this morning - LOW FAT. Have they seen my husband? Really? No, seriously, they have seen elevated numbers in his pancreatic enzymes and they are a little concerned that he might have pancreatitis. So to ere on the side of caution, we are not going to overwork the pancreas with fatty foods - Jeremy's primary diet. :)

Dr. Malech, our CGD doctor, feels that the pancreatic enzymes are elevated because of an antibiotic that he has been on for the past 6 days. They have taken Jeremy off of this antibiotic and given him a steroid. Dr. Malech expects to see immediate results tomorrow in the blood tests. Pray that this is so. This would be a larger step and one that would re-establish some of Jeremy's hope. Sometimes it feels, to him, like they keep telling him "this" or "that" could be better or might be infected, etc. He needs to hear, "that is not infected and you are moving yet another step forward. Good job on all the hard work."

He will be on restriction for any nourishment after midnight because they are going to do a CT scan in the morning. After evaluating the CT scan, they will decide what to do about the tubes. My prayer is that they remove one of the tubes and reposition the other two. I think, just something this large will set Jeremy into another league of competition. If they do not remove a tube, and instead, just reposition them all, we will take that too. We just need some change and some confirmation that the exercise is paying off.

Again, today you have flooded us with encouragement and support. We got to see Emma and Abbi on video thanks to Kim Galloway. My they looked wonderful and it did both of our hearts good. We also got to talk to them thanks to Sherry. Emma and Daddy had a special talk and I could tell in both of their voices it was a wonderful dose of medicine. Yesterday, we got a great package in the mail from the Wilsons and we have already played our new game several times. :) TOMORROW I AM GOING TO A LOCAL SPA THANKS TO THE TREMENDOUSLY GENEROUS PEOPLE OF HAYDEN MIDDLE SCHOOL. I can hardly wait - can you tell? This will be amazing. So if nothing big happens tomorrow, I will be refreshed and rejuvenated to just continue to FIGHT HARDER.

Now for my randomness...why do these people not like sweet tea or at least offer it as an option for those of us traveling from afar? Why do they have automatic sinks if they will not acknowledge my soapy hands? why can they not have the best IT people? Is that too much to ask - to have the best of the best in medicine and the best of the best in technology? Why do they not have chocolate chip cookies every time I go down stairs? Instead they have cookies plagued with nuts and junk (even the peanut butter cookies are filled with large chunks of peanuts! )! How come they are lacking in their magazine choices to just smut? Why am I not losing weight while still running everyday? I know the answer to that - don't be ugly with your responses. :) How do people find out about this place? There are people here from all over the world. Why am I even rambling when I could be sleeping? Yeah, enough of this. Love you all!

Oh, and sorry for recopying the wrong message under the CGD post. I have fixed that issue, so go back and read if you need to do so and don't get the email.

Lung Update #20 - Faith & Michael Buble

2009-04-21T07:00:00.001-07:00

This morning I arose and came over a tad later because I was working on a small project back in the room. More on that another day. My devotion this morning was just what I had prayed for. ISN'T THAT THE BEST - WHEN YOUR HEART HAS AN INQUIRY OR DESIRE AND YOU GET TO SEE IT COME TO FRUITION. I LOVE GOD! And the bestest part of all is that HE LOVES ME. I was thinking about how to explain to you all what it is that drives us and how we go on. It is simple, and yet so complex. It is faith - believing in things that are unseen. Emilie Barnes is one of my favorite devotional writers. I have almost all of her books. Her devotional this morning spoke of the passage in Proverbs 2:2 - Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding. She expounded on the importance of wisdom and application of the wisdom by seeking understanding. Like in school, we can have great wisdom, but if we do not know how to properly apply the wisdom by answering a question on inputting it into the equation, than we do not have understanding. She then slightly turns the topic and discusses relationships, imparticularly our relationship with the Father. The Bible is not just an instruction manual on life, it is a love story (I am reading this from a book by Shannon Etheridge) about God who is seeking His bride - YOU. We can know facts about a person and recite information, but if we do not apply the facts that we know, than the relationship with that person will remain just on the surface. For instance, you can date someone and find out their favorite color is purple. For their birthday, you buy them a green shirt. It is a nice shirt, but gee golly wouldn't it be more thoughtful if it were purple? Ya know? We can know that God is desires to hear us and wants us to deepen our relationship with Him, but if we do not actually apply that wisdom by diving into His word more in depth and understanding the context of each passage (the why? it was written - cause there is a why?), then we are not getting it. We are just surface, and just like in an earthly relationship, surface relationships leave you with a void and are just not that grand.

Emilie goes on to talk about faith and the application of knowledge in faith. You have faith every day that your car will start. You do. Most of you do not sit down in your car and hold your breath as you turn the ignition. You have faith that your remote will work, that your coffee pot will perc, that the hot water heater will heat, etc. Why do we not have that same type of faith in the One who we know even more about? He promises us that He will supply all our needs and protect us. He promises us that He has a plan - He does not promise it is the same as ours, though. So be careful. You ask how I get through this and stand. This is how. Looking back, I cannot imagine enduring this without the promises of my God. So, as I look forward, I smile with peace knowning that the God who has held me through the death of both of my paternal grandparents, the battle with cancer and eventual loss of my mother, the battle with cancer with my father, the vandalizing of one home, the heartaches in our family with marriages, Jeremy's fluctuating health, financial dispair, Emma's health issues, job complications, flooding of our home, and on and on, is the same God today and I have faith that He is still holding me. If I give up, than I say to Him, I do not believe you are there. He is there. He knows my name. He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call. He hears you too.

Now I had that awesome emotionally uplifiting devotional this morning only to walk into the coffee shop to get my White mocha and hear Michael Buble singing "Home". I got teary eyed and then chuckled at Satan trying to break my spirit. I love that song and do want to go home, but we must finish the work we have started here. There might be one more nurse to talk to or one more piece of infection to flush out. God knows and so we push.

Be encouraged by your prayers. Jeremy has eaten a small breakfast and has walked BY HIMSELF (WITHOUT ME) this morning already. He remained fever free and looks great. He is in some pain and the doctor said that it is because his insides are healing. ISN'T THAT A GREAT REASON TO BE IN PAIN? They said the hiccups have probably stopped because his diaphragm has healed. Wow! What tremendous news. His left chest is hurting, probably because everything is setting back into place and all of that fluid is finally exiting the body. BTW, pump #1 is not moving any fluid at all this morning. I asked you to pray for that last night. He hears you. They most likely will not pull any tubes until in the morning, so today we just gotta eat and exercise. Today is Jeremy's mother's birthday. If you know her, send her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY CINDY! We look forward to getting home and celebrating with you soon!

WHAT IS CGD?

2009-04-20T20:39:00.001-07:00

by the non-medical expert - Jodi Powell

Chronic Granulomatous Disease - a defect of the immune system with varying degrees of severity that it inherited at birth and not conceptualized by chronological onset or any form of contagious exchange. You cannot catch it. You must be born with it. It is very rare and is not something they will test your children for at birth like Downs would be.
Jeremy was born with it. His mother was a carrier and his grandmother was a carrier. That is as far back as they can trace it as Jeremy's great grandmother died when his grandmother was only 12. It rarely surfaces in girls, more often in males. There are rare instances where a female can possess the disease, but both the mother and the father would have to be a carrier and/or have the disease. They did not discover that Jeremy had the disease until he was around 18 months old. He developed an illness and through a series of tests, they discovered that he had an enormous amount of abscesses on his liver. They surgically tried to remove them (keeping in mind this was the seventies). In the healing process of the attempt to remove the abscesses, the body rejected the staples that were holding his stomach back together in it's pitiful attempt to push a foreign particle out. Surface level infection is almost easier to remove because we can see it and remove it. As a result of this rejection of staples, Jeremy had to heal with an open wound. Now if that doesn't rock your world, try this. He is 18 months old undergoing this trauma and his 20 year old single mother is enduring being told that her son has a fatal disease that will most likely take him before he turns 5 years old and yet remain strong for him so he can recover from this current trauma. Makes you think differently about colic doesn't it. :)
When Jeremy was diagnosed it was Fatal Chronic Granulomatous Disease, but they have come so far in their research and understanding of this disease, he has defied the odds, along with his cousin Allen, who also bears this load. Basically what happens is through exposure to bacteria and fungus a normal body goes into defense mode attempting to rid your body of this infectious and unwanted material. Ways we are exposed to bacteria and fungus are pretty commonly understood, but we are so unaffected by it with our strengthened immune systems, we are unaware of just exactly where it might be. Now, this is the place in the lesson where all of you hypochondriacs need to go to bed and find your hypoallergenic pillow and sheets and drift off to a pollen free world.

Exposure includes touch, fluid exchange (ingesting), or inhalation. Stagnant ponds are a HUGE NO-NO because bacteria and fungi love unmoving moisture. Places where moisture has collected and poorly drained, in other words, flooded areas, piles of debris like leaves & mulch, hay, older buildings and homes that have suffered from water damage or are just musty, pools without active pumps or sufficient chlorine, fresh cut grass, exorbitant amounts of dust, etc. are all dangerous for a CGD patient. There is no control over what is circulating in the air in those types of environments unless there is a sturdy HEPA filter working diligently to clean and purify the air of all of the pollutants. Even an excellent HEPA filter will never get it all, but it can help a ton.
Now, what happens when he inhales, ingests, or touches certain things that might contain sources of infection? Here is your science lesson that I am sure Jeremy will come back and add to when he is up and able. When the average human body ingests an infectious material, the first reaction is sensors and receptors to inform one another that "one of these things is not like the other" and it must go. Here comes the superheros of the body - the white blood cells. The white blood cells approach the unwelcomed cells and lay the smack down. They engulf this infectious debris. So now, picture in your visual mind a much fatter white blood cell. Snicker. Now what? Once inside the white blood cell, the infectious matter is sprayed by hydrogen peroxide. This process is called respiratory burst. It happens almost instantly when a white blood cell does it job and ingests a harmful object. Once sprayed with the hydrogen peroxide, the infection disseminates and is excreted out of the body with other waste essentially. Job done.
Jeremy's body is lacking the enzyme to produce hydrogen peroxide. Others cannot burst at all. His precious little white blood cells attack the infection, engulf it, and even spray it, but nothing comes out during the respiratory burst. So often what happens when Jeremy gets an infection is the doctors find a fungal matter COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY WHITE BLOOD CELLS trying their hardest to destroy this infection. There are good and bad things that come of that. If a sufficient amount of white blood cells get to the infection before Jeremy's medicine can get to the infection, they form a wall around the mass preventing the penetration of the antifungal or antibiotic. This is what they found with this mass in his lung. It was surrounded by a thick coating of white blood cells desperately trying to save him.
His lungs are the most vulnerable place because they are where the greatest amount of foreign objects enter his body - through breathing. It is thought that this infection has been growing for MONTHS, so we are not able to pinpoint what might have caused it. We can only go from here in seeking to prevent another one.
The Granulomatous name comes from the title they give to these infections masses that form - granulomas. He has had SEVERAL. Some are minor surface level - one behind his ear, and on his hand. Some are just below the surface - 2 surgeries to remove a granuloma in his sinus cavity. It has grown back and restricts his airway, hence the mouth breather. Some are deep within the body - the vertebrae, the lungs (4-5), the liver, the trachea or esophagus. Sometimes they are spongy and sometimes they are hard. It just depends.
Research is astounding compared to 20 years ago. Right now, the doctors here currently have a patient who has undergone a bone marrow transplant. Basically, they harvested this patient's bone marrow and duplicated the blood cells and re-implanted the marrow with new marrow that is corrected and currently replicating adequate white blood cells. THIS IS A MIRACLE. They basically retrained a body to no longer make dysfunctional white blood cells, but to make correct white blood cells. To undergo this treatment though, the doctors want you to be at a place whee illness has brought you to a place of little hope. Jeremy is well compared to what they foresee. However, with this enormous step, who is to say what they can do with and for him in 10 years. Remember, when he was diagnosed, it was FATAL. He is 31 - 26 years beyond his expected date of departure.
This is why you sometimes see me move into over protective mother (and annoy Jeremy) at certain events. He so longs to be "normal" but I so long for him to "live". I know that several of you mothers out there concur. He takes quite a few risks and partly because he is on such strong antifungals and antibiotics on a daily basis to combat any infection and to substitute for his weakened immune system. However, we still must be careful. Now don't handle him with kid gloves. He hates that. Yet, at the same time, help me be cautious for him. He is a treasure and I want him to understand that.
Now, did I answer all your questions? If not, spit them out. I will see what I can do.

Lung Update #19 - Where Now?

2009-04-20T19:53:00.001-07:00

The first pastor that Jeremy was honored to serve under gave a poignant sermon once that Jeremy has quoted in other sermons of his own. Bro. Jack stated that when you are plowing (he was a farmboy) it is very important to continue to look forward. When you look backward, you can sometimes rearrange the alignment of your plow and set your course off making the line crooked and messing up the entire system. We see this in driving to. We tend to turn the wheel where we turn our head. Not exactly the safest thing. This, all to say that where we are at this hour is in a necessary place to focus forward. Jeremy will rise tomorrow and will walk - even more so than today. He will get bathed so he can feel refreshed in body and spirit. He will eat, so his body will get fuel. He will address you, because you need to hear from him. Those are our goals for tomorrow.

I will deviate from Bro. Jack's message a tad though in order to refresh and remind us all exactly where we have come from and from what we have been restored. As jolting as the news was this morning about inserting another tube, God has been SO GOOD. We waited on the nursing aide to come get Jeremy for his procedure. The doctor told us that it would be before noon. Noon comes and goes and I went and had a talk with God and with Jeremy's mom. Sometimes I have to talk out my plans (I do talk to myself, but I know there is someone listening - so I am not crazy). I went back in the room and got Jeremy up and we proceeded to walk. I told him that we could definitely get some good exercise in before they sedated him and he was out beyond my control. He went willingly. They came soon, thereafter to take him for his procedure and I escaped to the cafeteria to fuel my body and take care of some phone calls.

It took roughly 3 hours for him to get down there, sedation, and procedure. I returned to the room to find him chatting with Martha - one of the NPs on his team. She was coming by to just do a final round and check to see how he was holding up. Surprisingly, he was better than I expected. He was ready to eat. So I confirmed with the nurse as to whether he could eat again and she said yes. So I went back to the cafeteria and got him some roasted chicken, mac-n-cheese, and corn. I know, carbolicious, but it's food and he ate. Here is why he ate - I looked at him and informed him that an army was on their knees for him - people that we don't even know are praying for us and by golly, if they are going to consider us worthy enough to spend their precious time conversing with the Lord on our behalf, he was going to eat and he was going to fight. People, he ate that entire chicken, 1/2 the mac-n-cheese, an entire roll, and a full glass of sprite. He DID IT! You DID IT! Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I am crying right now, probably out of emotional exhaustion, but mostly out of joy because God came through SO HUGE TODAY.

Not only did Jeremy eat, he then went with me (with 3 CHEST TUBES) for a walk around the entire 3rd floor. We usually just lap our unit, but today he went all the way to the other waiting room near ICU and I showed him where Emma played while we waited on him. It was so good for him. He did so well! He then sat back down in the bed and we watched a movie together and he ate a small bowl of ice cream. He kept it all down. I am telling you, this is leaps and bounds. The doctor came by and checked his tubes and confirmed that they definitely made the right decision. The new tube began draining immediately and the repositioned one is draining massive amounts out so that his lungs can now inflate properly. Continue to pray that they drain and that his lungs expand to full capacity. Dr. Kemp doesn't feel like they will do anything tomorrow except continue to let them drain. I asked him if one appeared to be complete or no longer draining after a full night of measuring, would they pull it. He said, yes. PRAY PRAY PRAY!

Dr. Kemp also said that Jeremy would most likely have a fever because he had another incision placed in him with the 3rd chest tube and that is common with a surgical procedure. When I left, Jeremy's temperature was the lowest it has been since we have been here. YOU DID IT! You called upon God to be big, AND HE HEARD YOU! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I know that some of you have entered into a specific prayer pattern, and let me just tell you, I am choking to death because of the emotion that overwhelms me that you would consider us worthy of your time. When the question "why?" comes to mind in my spirit, it isn't, nor has it ever been, "why are we enduring this?" I know the answer to that. I constantly ask myself and God, "why do these people love us as they do? we are no greater than any other of His creation, and yet you sacrifice your time and energy to physically carry us through this journey. I stand amazed. And yes, I am still standing. I will continue to stand until we cross the finish line. That is what I am called to do. Just pray me through, that is all you can do. He needs me, and I will be here.

Now, prayer from here: Pray that Jeremy remains fever free for the remainder of our stay. You got us through the 24 hour hump, now get us through the duration of this process, however long it may be. Pray for Jeremy's strength and stamina. It is already increased because of your faithfulness. Pray for the hiccups to stay away. PRAISE GOD THAT HE DID NOT HAVE THEM ALL DAY LONG! I cannot believe it. ALL DAY LONG! Continue to pray for that. Pray for the nausea to continue to stay at bay despite all the meds. Pray for longer walks and great chats. Pray for tube #1 to be removed tomorrow. They are labeled 1,2,3 and #1 is currently receiving the least amount of output. It should go first. Pray for my girls. They have been in good hands all along, and I am not concerned about their safety or well being. Just pray that when they see their Daddy in the up and coming days, they greet him in a way that comforts his spirit and lets him know they loved and missed him. They could greet me that way too, and I would be elated, but most importantly he needs that to continue with his healing. Praise God for the sick bank at work that is assisting me during this time and causing Jeremy one less worry. Praise God for subs who are willing. Pray for my students to be good so I don't have to come back as mean old nasty Mrs. Powell, but rather, I missed you so Mrs. Powell. :)

The CGD email will follow.

Lung Update #18 - MAIL

2009-04-20T10:21:00.001-07:00

Mailing anything to Jeremy can be done by addressing your item as follows:

Mr. Jeremy Powell
NIH Clinical Center
Patient Care Unit, 3 Northwest, room number 3-2664
10 Center Drive, MSC 1000
Bethesda, MD 20892

To make sure your mail reaches you quickly, relatives and friends should write "patient mail" on the envelope and include your unit and room number.

We just took a lap and washed his hair! YEA!

Lung Update #17 - Good News? Not Exactly. Challenge? - Definitely

2009-04-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

This will be a long one, so either skim or get a cup of coffee. My God is at work and we are in need of seeing this work and we are still in need of your prayer. I will begin with the humor for the morning. Because it is raining and windy, I chose to wait on the shuttle that runs between the Lodge and the Clinical Center. While waiting, I engaged in a lovely chat with a man by the name of Ken (I didn't get his last name) who is here with his daughter Sandra Anglin. I could tell by his precious accent he was one of us - a Southerner - but, as to where, I was not sure. He actually lives in Lakeland, Florida. His daughter, Sandra, lives in Roanoke, Alabama, where he grew up as a child. She met her now husband during one of their visits to the grandparents. Ha. Anyway, pray for this family. Sandra is 39 with Colon Cancer and has been on and off chemo for 2 years. It is no longer working. She discovered some breakthrough research they were doing here at the NIH and the clinic warmingly accepted her to the protocol. They will be here a minimum of 3 weeks. Pray for this family, as I am sure it is difficult to watch your child suffer. The white blood cell research they are attempting with her is VERY similar to the exact same research they are doing with CGD (Jeremy's disease). One day, we, too, might be where Sandra and Ken are. Not today though.

So the funny part - I get to the hospital later than normal and find that Jeremy has already gone to CT for the morning. I also found, to my great distress, one of the walls in his room splattered with blood. Alarmed, I go to the nurse's station to talk with his nurse. I asked her if he was ok and if she could explain what had happened. She looked at me with shock and said she KNEW NOTHING. What? You're his nurse! Fear of great pain overwhelm me as I go to all scenarios - a chest tube got yanked out or his local pain pump got yanked out and the residue from the tubing went everywhere. So, the nurse gets a custodian to come and clean the wall with a disinfectant. I begin acting like a crime scene investigator (yet another occupation I might be good at). The marking on the wall begin at shoulder level, and the amount was not a voluminous as a chest tube, so I assume that the local anesthetic, but I am still concerned that it was just awful. The bulb for the local anesthetic is in the hazardous garbage, so I feel conclusive, and am now off to the source.

I find my precious husband down in the CT waiting area in a wheel chair hunched over sleeping. I kiss him on the head and he awakens and looks at me in somewhat of a daze. I asked him if he was OK and if he remembered what happened. NO! Nobody knows what happened. I asked him if they removed the pump or if it fell out. They removed it. WTC? So, I will now wait to ask the surgeon, who removed the tubing. I am now guessing they removed the tubing and carelessly flung it on the wall as they were collecting it for disposal. Absolutely insane. My friend, Kaci, said this could be the Halloween episode of our sitcom life.

Jeremy had a CT performed over his chest and stomach region. The surgeon alluded that they would remove one of the chest tubes this morning and possibly reposition the other one so that it relocates to drain more fluid. Jeremy has remained fever free for 48 hours and has remained without vomiting for 24 hours. So these are huge praises and reason enough to get excited. He has also NOT HAD THE HICCUPS THIS MORNING! Unbelievable. Keep praying! I am astounded.

Here is the not so great news. No less than 12 doctors and nurse practitioners entered our room this morning to give us this news, all with solemn faces, which quickly prepared me into a state of preparedness. The fluid is not draining properly according to the CT. So, instead of removing the 2 chest tubes, they will now insert ANOTHER tube at a strategic location to remove fluid that is stubbornly roosting in his thoracic cavity. Why? Well, there are many theories. When they aggravated the infection during the surgery, the most likely scattered small cells of it in the thoracic cavity. This debris is still trying to be harnessed and captured by his poor little body, so the body is still producing fluid to push it out. When you have a cut and that clear/yellowy fluid surfaces to cause a scab, that is exactly what is happening around his lungs. Because the fluid is there, his left lung is still not expanding to full capacity and they want it to do so before the remove a tube. Jeremy is incredibly discouraged. He asked for an estimate of our stay and they said possibly a week. He has had a small breakdown and expressed his deep desire to go home and to see the girls. So pray for him and his stamina today. This was extremely defeating for him. For me, it was a challenge. I am now hourly watching the clock so that we are doing the breathing treatments as instructed. When he returns from the procedure to insert the new tube, and has come off of the anesthesia, he will eat and we will walk. Eating gives him calories and energy. Walking gives him strength and forces his lungs to expand. Pray for us as we fight through this together. I can do this and so can he, but our marriage will need your prayer as I am sure there will be times where he will want to yell at me. I can be sensitive sometimes and I need God to remind me that Jeremy is not yelling at me. He is yelling at the infection that has caused me to treat him this way.

We prayed together after the team left and begged God to be SO BIG to Jeremy today. Here is how you can join us in this prayer. Pray for Jeremy to continue to remain fever free. You have gotten him this far and we need you to continue to petition for this need. Pray that HICCUPS stay away. I cannot even begin to tell you how I am welling up with tears right now because my husband does not have the HICCUPS. Absurd, I know, but WOW! God is good. Pray for the nausea to stay away, even after they sedate him for the procedure. That typically causes nausea and I NEED HIM TO EAT. Even if he only eats corn pops and gatorade, I need him to eat. Pray that we can walk at least 2 times later today. My goal was for him to walk more today and to get his hair washed. I am determined to meet the goal. Pray for his stamina and endurance. He needs you right now because he is so discouraged and defeated. This mentality will not get him well. Help me help him. The doctor also mentioned that they might can move him to a private room to assist with the recovery process. Pray that they can. The doctors all said that each day Jeremy is improving. Now, he is struggling because he has finally hit a spell of antsyness. I reminded him this morning, that prior to yesterday, the "fight" inside of him was dismal. So we can only go forward.

Later this afternoon, I will send out an email explaining CGD. If you are among those who already understand the disease, just skip it. There have been several of you, though, who have asked other questions about it and how it works and exactly how he is different. I will try to explain it as best I can. For now, this update is long enough. If you want to do more than just email encouragement, send him cards and notes through mail. He loved getting the package from his mom and has almost finished his Sports Illustrated that she sent. He loves other sporting magazines (especially college football projection stuff). He loves puzzles (sodoku and crossword) He loves mindless and worthless facts and information, so books with that are great. We love news magazines and Christian magazines. So if you see something and think of him, send it. His new room number is 3-2664. If you lost the previous email I sent with mailing instructions, let me know and I will resend it.

As for me, I am still seeing God at work. I got my coffee this morning and was reminded of someone else who is struggling in life. I was reminded that I have hope and it is important that I spread it. Oh, and one more thing. One of the doctors on the team that came around with us, came back around after rounds. Her name is Dr. De Ravin and she heard that Jeremy was a pastor. She wanted to let him know that she, too, was a believer and that God's plan was greater than our plan. I cried and was touched. He reached out to us through someone here - not very common. He is Big. I pray He reaches out to you today too!

Lung Update #16 - Fever, Fever, Go Away

2009-04-19T17:07:00.001-07:00

Jeremy is now resting again after his mean old wife made him get up and walk and play a mini round of Trivial Pursuit. Here is where we are tonight after a fairly slow day. Jeremy was not in the best of demeanor this morning - he did not have much fight in him to push for any type of success and he also seemed to just "be there" not to truly be engaged in any activity or conversation. Now Nurse Jodi has her own theories, and the doctors actually agree with me. Jeremy was horribly lethargic this morning, but there are many things that can contribute to that. He is on 3 different antibiotics and 2 different antifungals that infuse into his body most likely 23 of the 24 hours a day. The nurses come in and awaken him for vitals throughout the night. When he does eat, it tends to come up and the self-management of the hiccups are wearing him out. Now, we use our common sense to see that he has not engulfed a FULL meal in probably 7 days. His 1/2 sandwich he ate last Sunday night was the last true meal he has eaten. Since the surgery, every meal he has eaten has eventually returned. So he is not getting any nutrients, protein or carb, and his body is not able to burn calories by exercise and exertion if there are no calories to burn. He is also not getting up enough and moving about, so the eventual repositioning of the lungs and diaphragm is not adjusting quickly and therefore, his entire body is not readjusting to activity. He was complaining of a "charlie horse" feeling in his upper thigh, so they took him this morning and performed an ultrasound. No blood clot. The pain is simply because his leg is still adjusting to usage again. The doctors see all of this and also want him to continue to push.

He had a fever last night and we really need him to be fever free tonight. They will not pull the chest tube until he has been fever free for 24 hours. Dr. Kemp spoke of repositioning a tube tomorrow and MAYBE pulling the other tube. This is just a "maybe". We need it to be a "yes". I feel that the removal of just one tube will be somewhat of a relief for Jeremy and will help continue to "jump start" his push forward. So pray for NO FEVER tonight. NO FEVER! I am going to get him up again and make him walk in about an hour. Pray for that encounter. He was mad at me at first, earlier, and then he tried to out do me - he walked an extra lap. See! It's in there - the Jeremy Powell we know. I just have to awaken the beast.

As for the hiccups, we are continuing to just manage them. We have had fewer bouts with them today. The combination of them along with all the medicine sometimes provokes the nausea. As of right now, he has eaten quite a bit of food and has kept it down for several hours. KEEP PRAYING FOR THAT AS WELL. He needs something on his stomach to absorb the medicine.

Tomorrow morning they are going to do a CT scan again. They will do thoracic and abdomen because he had an elevation in numbers that leads them to think he might have pancreatitis. The fear of this is less likely since he has kept down some fatty foods for the past few hours; however, they are going to look at the pancreas & liver tomorrow, just the same. Pray for no other hitches as we just try to manage the one's we currently have.

Thank you to those of you who have called and emailed today words of encouragement, advice, and support. We are missing you all so much and looking forward to reuniting with you soon. Thank you to Mrs. Brenda, for reminding me that tomorrow will come - it might not be "tomorrow", but it will come. How I know your road that you have walked surpasses our experience and I hope you know that God is giddy with how you continue to use your story to inspire and encourage other's in their faith. I am very OK with slow and steady, I just need to make sure we are doing all we can. Idleness can cause infection to roost as well and I don't want Satan to have any hold on this. Thank you to all who let me know how my babies were today and for loving on them so much as we are away. Thank you to those of you who have saturated our home with protective eyes and also saturated our home with a face lift. I know my girls will be eager to play at home very soon. Thank you for praying, for reading the blog and the emails, for taking time to understand our journey, for sharing your journey that inspires us, and for taking such good care of us. We rejoice with First Baptist Hayden as they welcome yet another spiritual strength to their leadership by the calling of Richard and Suzy Metts. Pray for Richard and Suzy as they break ties with their home church and the emotional encounter that will bring. Pray for them as they prepare to move and adjust. Pray for all decisions they must make in terms of that transition. Pray for our church as we continue to MOVE FORWARD and seek to strengthen the kingdom. We are so excited about what God is going to do this summer and in the seasons to come. Be prayerful about what your role is in our upcoming activities - because if you think you don't have a role, you do. So find your work boots and your hard hat and get ready. We are going to work for the Lord, dear friends and we are ecstatic about what He is going to do through our efforts. Be willing, because HE IS. Oh, and if you aren't a member of FBCH, you are still a worker. Find your hammer and tape measurer and practice. Here we go.

Lung Update #15 - Made to Worship

2009-04-19T06:39:00.001-07:00

It is 7:15 in the Central Time Zone and many of you are hustling and bustling around trying to get yourselves, and perhaps some wee ones ready for the attendance of a corporate worship with fellow believers. I hope that this week has been inspiring and encouraging so that when you enter into "His House" today you are more aware of His goodness and of His faithfulness and of the ENORMITY that God knows exactly who you are and has a plan specifically for YOU and He takes time out of His day to attend to YOU. The idea of how BIG God is should not be limited to what He has done for Jeremy, or for our family. Realize that the same God that has brought Jeremy so far this week and allowed us such a showering of blessings is the same God that knows every hair on your body and wants to meet with you exactly where you are - no matter how warn, tattered, tainted, disheveled, depressed, exhausted, angry, bitter, frustrated, lonely, guilt-ridden, abused, brazen, arrogant, stubborn, childish (He is great with these), lustful, covetous, anxious, worried, fearful, & sinful you are. He is there. He knows your name. He sees each tear that falls and HEARS YOU when you call. I am overwhelmed with this massive concept. I am reading a book right now, that I cannot wait to finish, that reminded me of that. Just when I feel like I am not usable for the glory of His kingdom because of how I have messed up my life, He intercedes on my behalf and asks the Father to remind me, once more, who I belong to.

Psalm 139:13-18 For YOU created my inmost being, YOU knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise YOU because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful, I know that full well...How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

Do you believe that His works are wonderful? Even in times like this with Jeremy, we are in awe of a Creator who could SPEAK into existence MAN. It is the most complicated of all creation and yet God knows how each part is functioning at every second of the day, because HE MADE YOU. Wow! Wow! After He made you, He set things in motion for exactly the amount of time He has ordained for You. (see above passage & also Jeremiah 29:11) What are you doing with the time you have? Live each day as it is your last. Where will you prioritize your time? Today, enter His courts with praise and enjoy one another. Be the church that He designed You to be.

Ephesians 5:19-21 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

As for Jeremy today, the hiccups are slowing - SO KEEP PRAYING! God hears us and will honor this petition to cease this annoyance. The doctor was not as concerned with the fever today as days prior. There are many theories that set in for the cause of it, but it is possible that we just need to get him up and moving a tad more. Pray for that today. It will exhaust him, but overall, it will help the body regain it's functions. They will possibly be doing a CT scan later today to evaluate as to whether or not there is any fluid left on the lung. Pray for the hiccups, still. Pray for tiny bouts of nausea that are slowing. Pray for strength to get up and move about and for endurance. You guys so totally rock. Keep the words of encouragement coming. We are loving the correspondence. Blessings to you all.

Lung Update #14 - Fair Day & Funnies

2009-04-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

Hiccups! Hiccups! Hiccups. Jeremy went for 4 hours this afternoon without him and I go and mention it to a friend of mine while chatting on the phone and there they were again. Pray they go. Pray we figure out the fix - at least the fix for Jeremy. The doctors and nurses here told us that if we come up with a cure for hiccups, we would be millionaires. I am up for anything. I think we might try sugar and headstands when we get home if they are still here. :)

We have had a great day spending time together. There has been more trivia with even dumb old me getting a few correct. :) We have talked about tomorrow's service and how are hearts are in prayer with you all even now as it approaches. We have talked about the beautiful wedding we are missing today between Jeremy's cousin Wesley Allen and his bride Shannon in the lovely town of Hopkinsville. So, despite the hiccups, we have been communicating. Jeremy's precious mom sent a too fun care package that arrived today with hangman games and magazines and other fun. We played with those goodies as well. THANKS FOR THE M&M'S, Cindy. I will have to run farther in the morning. :) I have gotten spoiled in many ways during my stay here - believe it or not. They have a treadmill in the lodge just like the one's I used at the YMCA back in Fort Worth and I LOVE IT. I can watch FoxNews and run, all at the same time. I know, Ken, how boring is it to see the same thing by running in place, but I got my news updates. :) I have even become so spoiled that when I entered the lobby today and discovered that the Starbucks is closed on the weekend, I contemplated getting online to find a nearby one on the subway. No, not really. I am not that bad. Today, I rejoined my old friendly form of caffeine - Diet Coke. :)

Jeremy has walked this morning and remained fever free. We are so pleased. His fever usually doesn't arrive until evening, so those of you who have been praying specifically for the fever to stay at bay, keep praying. Because of the fever, we did not lose any tubes today. However, we have located ourselves out of ICU! So PTL! I count that as a huge step forward. The surgeons came by to inform us of the order to relocate and stated that Jeremy looked great. I got to see the change of the dressing today and all incisions look beautiful. There is no sign of surface infection whatsoever, and there is no swelling to indicate infection beneath the surface. His appetite is still not back to normal just yet, and that could be the cause of some discomfort and nausea. He is nauseated because he has SO MUCH medicine pumping through him and nothing more on his tummy. Yet, when he does put things on his tummy, he gets nauseated as well. Hiccups, nausea, fever, appetite - those are the prayer requests.

Pray for the removal of the tube tomorrow and the gentleness of the nurse who assists in this removal. We are still not quite sure of the game plan from this floor, but we know that we will be here for a few days. Jeremy still has four more days of antibiotics left. As to whether we will remain here for the infusion of these drugs or if we will be sent home with them, this is currently unknown. He will go to oral pain medication either tomorrow or Monday as well. Pray that he will be wise in the use of this and not try to be superman.

As for humor, my children are probably providing the best entertainment. Each day I check on Abbi, I hear about her energy and spunk and charm. She seems to have swooned the hearts of a few fellas out there and I need you to know that it warms a mother's heart to know that our child is not an inconvenience. Everyone that sees her tomorrow, give her a kiss from her Mommy and Daddy and say to her "how cute are you?" You should get a great reaction. She's a ham. Now precious Emma - my thriving intellect - gave us one of the better stories of the week last night. She LOVES her Uncle Jason and was elated to spend the night with he and Aunt Rachel over the weekend. On the plane flight home, Emma read the emergency instructions in the back pocket of the seat in front of her. She does it every flight. We could probably quiz her on the location of pictures and she would ace the test. After she finished with that fine piece of literature, Jason and Rachel inform me that she began to study Uncle Jason's literature.

E - "Uncle Jason, why are you not reading the words in that book?"
J - " I am baby. I am just not reading them aloud."
E - "I don't hear you reading those words on that page."
J - "I am just reading them in my head, not speaking them out loud as I read."
E - "Read them out loud to me. I want to hear them."
J - "OK" as he begins to read about the Islamification of the world, a tad deep of a read for a 4 year old. Jason said that he stopped after reading an extensive amount to Emma and she requested that he continue. So, Emma is now up to speed on the influence of Islam in our world today. :)

Please give Emma a hug from Mommy and Daddy tomorrow as well. We miss them so. We are now going to try to walk a lap or two. Root him on good people. I have one more word for you before bed from a book I am currently reading. It will be in a final email for the night. God is good and I am humbled that He loves me so unconditionally. I hope you chew on that for now. YOU ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. You, yes you!

Lung Updat #13 - Seeking Silver

2009-04-18T06:08:00.001-07:00

Proverbs 2:1-9

1.My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2.turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, 3.and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4. and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5. then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. 6. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7.He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8.for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.9.Then you will understand what is right and just and fair--every good path.

I read this in my devotion last night and was astonished, again, at how God meets me where I am and in my stupidity, He blesses me. I trust in His promises. I trust that He is God and His will is greater and far better than anything I can even fathom. I trust that He, who sacrificed His ONLY son for ME, loves me and seeks to provide what is best for me in a manner beyond my wildest dreams. However, it is all-the-more comforting to read these promises first hand from His Word. It is all the more challenging to know that God specifically explains to me, and to you, that if I "call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding...then I WILL UNDERSTAND the fear of the LORD and FIND the KNOWLEDGE OF GOD." That gives me chills to think about. The Lord gives us wisdom and our usage of it for the glory of His kingdom is crucial. By seeking this wisdom and understanding, He will then, in turn, guard our course and protect our way as we are faithful to seek His face. How the understanding of what is right, just, and fair will become more clear. Today, I am not saying that you will get a better understanding of all of life's horrors, but you will have a better understanding of who God is and the promise that He has for you. As we walk this road with Jeremy, I know that my faith in the almighty Creator has yet to be challenged, but I also know that I MUST STAY FIRM IN HIS WORD as Satan seeks to find that crack in my pot where doubt and fear of things not of the Lord can reside.

As we meet with the surgeon today, we seek silver. As I shared with you last night, Jeremy had a mild fever, but with tylenol, it went away almost instantaneously. However, that is an alarm to a doctor and a surgeon. They will still, most likely, move him to the regular floor today, but because there was a fever, there is a thought that there is still infection. So they will most likely not pull his chest tube today. There is still many good things that can come of today. Jeremy has gotten up already and gone to x-ray. His chest sounds CLEAR. Whoo hoo! They are pleased that he has now been off oxygen for almost 48 hours with no problems. He is doing great. Keep praying for steps forward. We are not concerned with the pace, we just want to go forward. Pray for these blasted hiccups. They are for a reason - like I just stated, but they are causing him such discomfort. We will be in touch with you throughout the weekend. It is with no doubt going to be an adventure. My Starbucks is closed for the weekend. I am now back to my usual coffee of the morning - Diet Coke. :) This may also mean that all food services are closed. I might be mooching off of Jeremy's patient meals - ha!

Emma, Jason, Rachel, & Papa made it home safely last night. I have yet to speak with them this morning as I am sure they are all just now waking up. Thank you, Mr. Wood, for coming to get my Dad. Our family thinks so highly of you and your wonderful merciful and giving spirit. God has blessed us with a plethora of people who find us worthy of their friendship, and yet we are humbled by your willingness to consider us in your realm of trust. Thank you all for your words of encouragement and for the wonderful laughs you have sent. I look forward to finally sharing those with Jeremy possibly this weekend. He has not felt like updates much this week, but a new day is coming - right? Right!

We are praying with you First Baptist Hayden as Sunday will also be a new day. Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! We know that Sunday will be a time of true worship and

Lung Update #12 - Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love you Tomorrow

2009-04-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

The surgeons and doctors visited Jeremy OFTEN today. They are elated with his status and progress and were most likely coming by often to see if his stamina was maintaining. Jeremy is 200% better than he was 48 hours ago. We have walked 3 strong walks today and the final one we just took experienced no nausea combined with a much faster pace. It was exciting as we walked to pass nurses and doctors that have worked with him earlier in the week and to see their smiles and hear their comments on how much better he looks. God is so good! Thank you for praying him through.

Today we have removed several sources of restraints. His oxygen has maintained at normal to high levels. He is still utilizing respiratory therapy, but the CPap is gone. So, yes Chester, he wore it out. :) He will probably return home performing the other breathing treatments in order to continue to strengthen the lungs. Tomorrow we are to move to a regular floor barring there are no complications in the ICU tonight. He will possibly have his local pain infusion removed tomorrow and begin with oral pain medication that we will eventually go home with. Pray for the adjustment to that as the pain will set in. Jeremy will also lose one of the two chest tubes tomorrow. The secondary tube might remain until the day we are released from the hospital. They want to leave it in place until the very last minute.

We have spoken with Dr. Malech and the infectious disease team and to our discouragement the fungal mass has not grown anything in a culture. We somewhat expected that, since NONE of Jeremy's biopsies in the past 3 years have grown. Nonetheless, it would be great if it would grow so they will know what it is and understand how to best prescribe medication and further treatment for us.

Jeremy has had a mild fever today (around 100), so we need to continue to keep that at bay. Continuing with breathing treatments and getting up and walking will force the lungs to work and not sit idle collecting infection and inflammation. Pray for wisdom as we push and yet remain cautious.

I will forward you the new room information tomorrow. I know that some of you have already sent cards and such, but I am sure there are not that many Jeremy Powells here, so I would hope it will get to him when he moves. I will have the ICU look for mail for him. :) My family got on a plane and I am still waiting to hear they have landed. Pray for Emma's adjustment tonight. I pray she goes right to sleep and never thinks twice about our absence. I too am headed to the Lodge as they will kick me out in 15 minutes. I cannot stay with Jeremy tonight, so pray for sleep for us both.

Lastly, thank you for praying for our caregivers. We have had some fantastic nurses - really love Barb, our current nurse who actually picked us up when our other nurse had to leave for an educational meeting. Jeremy will get another nurse at 11, so pray for the adjustment and one more grand person as we work through the remainder of this week. As you all know, great care in this facility and patience with the patients are wonderful aides to recovery. Thank you to the many of you who also work this very difficult job. Your often a thankless position, but God Bless you in your efforts to heal the wounded.

More in the morning...

Lung Update #11 - One More Day

2009-04-17T07:12:00.001-07:00

The surgical team came by this morning and informed us that we will be one more day in the IMC, so we will not be moving to a regular floor today. We are OK with that. They will continue to monitor him and the necessary vital signs just to make sure we have a well-man progressing to the next level. They changed out his local pain medicine this morning instead of removing it. Dr. Kemp said that since Jeremy was having success in progressing with the pain medicine, he thought it best to continue to give it to him on a continual release basis as he continues to progress. They will be removing the catheter today and possibly one of the chest tubes. Pray for that as it will be somewhat of an ordeal. We are going to try and walk more today, so pray for endurance and NO NAUSEA. He did throw up this morning, but all signs point to the combination of NOTHING on his stomach except for an incredible amount of pain medicine and another bout with the HICCUPS. He is off of the CPap for the day and will just be doing regular breathing treatments.

Huge Praise for the day - he slept last night and did not have his oxygen levels deplete AND he was not on oxygen! So the levels maintained on solely the power of Jeremy! Yea! Prayer requests for the day: pray for endurance as we work through walking and maneuvering. Pray for the nausea to stay at bay. Pray for the hiccups to stay away. (It is said to be common in patients who lose the nerve that assists with the control of the diaphragm. This might be a problem that he works through for weeks. Keep praying none-the-less because it hurts) Pray for the safe travel of Emma, Papa, Jason, & Rachel. Pray for Emma over the next few days as she accepts that Mommy & Daddy are not coming with her. I think she will be very distracted and not to strained or sad, but Emma is easily traumatized. If you are not aware, the last time we went through a long hospital stint with Jeremy, Emma stayed with her best friend Drew and despite the great comfort of being with friends, she had nightmares for MONTHS afterwards. It was awful. We really need her to be as close to normal as possible when we return as we will still be dealing with IV meds for Jeremy and we will be dealing with the dressing of the wounds.

As far as other needs, they seem to be all met. If they arise, I will let you know of it. Just keep praying. I know you are because it is evident you are being heard. Our God is faithful and I am humbled by where he has brought us in this great journey. Seriously, let's stop and think about this. The God of the Universe gave a mere man the knowledge enough to understand the most complex creation - the human body. In giving this understanding, they know where to make appropriate incisions, how to measure the amount of anesthesia so as to not damage the functioning of the body and yet not have the body experience the trauma of the procedure. They possess the know-how to manipulate and handle the very organ that supplies all life to the rest of the body - the heart - and to delicately remove an infectious matter from it's surface WHILE NOT STOPPING IT'S FUNCTION. They possess the know-how of how to remove what nerve and what it controls. To know what causes a fever; to know there will be fluid because of inflammation; to know how to infuse antibiotics and which one will work appropriately; to create machinery to look inside the body without having to slice it open (CT scan, x-ray, MRI, etc). How humble we should be that the God of all creation would allow us to look behind the veil of his most amazing creation so that we can better operate this vessel for His service! That's what it's all about really. We are allowed to understand the operation of this temple so that it can be better treated with reverence in order to provide the most sacrificial service for His kingdom. How are you treating your temple? How do you respect the gift that God has given you? Really, you have the knowledge. You have the ability - because he also gave this great skillful mind to you as well to help you make wise decisions on what to ingest, inhale, smother, and expose this temple to. Think about that today. Jeremy has restrictions on what he can inhale, ingest, smother, and expose his body to, so it makes our life just a little more complicated. However, it also makes us more aware of what common sense God gave us to not do that to our body (be it handicapped or not) so that we can get the most adequate usage of it. What have you done for your temple today? You need it, but most importantly - God needs it!

Lung Update #10 - The New Guy

2009-04-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

So we received some uplifting news late this evening as the fellow who works under Dr. Quaong (surgeon) made his rounds. He evaluated Jeremy's numbers over the course of the day and was quite pleased with the progress that he was making. He gave us some very positive feedback that we are taking with caution. Dr. Quaong has left for a business trip for the weekend, so Dr. Kemp (the fellow) and Dr. Shrump (IDK) will be making the decisions in Jeremy's interest for the duration of the next few days. If Jeremy progresses through the night rather well here in the IMC, then he will most likely get transferred to a surgical floor room TOMORROW AFTERNOON. This is great and exciting, but we are not holding our breath; yet, we are somewhat excited. Jeremy is currently sleeping WITHOUT oxygen and his oxygen saturation numbers are normal. This testifies to Dr. Kemp and to us that the CPap is working for him along with the bronchial dialator treatments. Jeremy will also continue to work on breathing treatments tomorrow throughout the day. These treatments will continue to aid in the oxygen intake, which his body still needs training on.

Jeremy will most likely be weened off heavy IV fluids tomorrow and be forced to rely on his own personal hydration. The intake of water for him throughout the day will be crucial to aid with the intake of large quantities of pain medication and antibiotics. Jeremy will also lose his local pain pump that is NOT self-induced. It works like the elastimers that we use at home to infuse his medicine. Once it has finished infusing, it is to be extracted. Dr. Kemp says they typically last about 3-4 days. That would bring us to tomorrow. From there, he will begin IV and/or oral pain medication to assist with discomfort at the incision site. He will remain on the self-induced pump for a bit longer. It assists with the pain at the location of the drainage tubes. They will remove the tubes one-at-a-time. Jeremy's surgery was different in that they removed an actual infectious mass. So the doctors want to keep at least one drainage tube in until nearer our departure in order to rid him from all fluid.

Pray for Jeremy to not have HICCUPS tomorrow. Every time he uses the CPap, he gets the hiccups and they are so painful because they are those monstrous kind we can get from time to time. Pray for his fever to STAY AWAY. It has elevated some this evening and we need it to go down. That would be a deterrent to move him into a regular room. Pray for Jeremy's appetite - that it would continue to return bite by bite. Pray for his nausea that usually comes when we get him up to move around. Pray for his strength as we get him up to move around. Pray for Jason, Rachel, Emma, & Papa as they travel tomorrow. Pray for Abbi as she continues to visit with friends. Pray for her to sleep tonight with Ken & Cindy so that they can sleep. Praise the Lord for a BETTER day. PRAISE THE LORD for good numbers. Praise the Lord for each other and the amazing support we give each other. I thank my God upon each remembrance of (each of ) you.

Lung Update #9 - Pros and Cons

2009-04-16T09:29:00.001-07:00

Happy Thursday, or at least I think it's Thursday! :) I hope that you all had an enjoyable Tax Day yesterday. I know that some of you experienced your own discomfort on the dreaded day we set as a deadline for income tax, but know that of all the negative hoo ha we spend tax dollars on, one of the good things is the incredible minds and research that go into the wellness of patients here at the National Institute of Health. So when you pay, think of Jeremy, along with the 3-4 VHL patients we have met this week, along with the parents who brought their son with Brittle Bone disease, along with the numerous types of cancer, and sickle cell anemia and various other ailments that are plaguing our society. The research it here and they choose special patients, like Jeremy, to study and seek to improve and eventually cure - if God allows them the knowledge and ability.

Now, where we are in terms of Jeremy's progression today, we are moving like a turtle and your cheetah-like pastor and friend is now discouraged and unhappy. So pray for his demeanor and stamina. The surgeon was pleased with a very restful and positive day overall yesterday. However, he now wants to move quite slowly since Jeremy had a set back on Tuesday. Jeremy's fever presented a slow decline instead of an immediate drop. An immediate drop would reveal to them that the trauma from the pain was the primary cause of the fever. The slow decline tends to lend more towards an infection, which is not entirely uncommon either. He most likely had an area or two of infection post-op that was caused by the body trying to purge itself of any lose fungal infection or any other foreign antibody that might have moved more freely during the surgical process.

So, he will be in IMC for at least 2-3 more days. From there he will move to a regular room. The first proposed outlook is that we are here for at least another week from today. As you know, this is murder to Jeremy. I looked at the doctor and at Jeremy and reminded them both that we are going to take each day individually. The doctor doesn't want to take two steps forward and one back every other day. I agree, but he doesn't entirely know Jeremy either as a long term patient. The man in the chair he sees today will not be the same man he sees on Sunday - you can be assured of that. Jeremy and I will get up and walk today some, based on his tolerance. He says his pain is at a ZERO today. PTL! He is still on a local pain medicine release as well as the pain pump. He will be weened off of the local pain medicine in the next few days. It can only be infused for a certain amount of time. So begin praying for the pain that may arise when that is removed (both by the removal process and from the lack of it's presence once it is gone). Pray for Jeremy's pain tolerance when they eventually remove the drainage tubes from his lungs in the next few days. Those of you who have experienced this before are aware of the excruciating pain it can cause or the immediate relief it can cause. Pray that he experiences relief and not pain.

Pray for patience for Jeremy as they have ordered that he remain on the CPap machine for at least another day. He will be doing 3 hours on/3hours off today. He also has a breathing treatment every 4 hours of zopomax (another type of Albuterol) and some other bronchialdialator to assist with opening up his air ways in his lungs. Jeremy still feels like there is a pressure on his chest, so taking a sizable breath is still somewhat strenuous. Each day it is getting better though. He will go to IV pain medicine as needed after the pump is removed and/or oral pain meds as needed. They also want to keep him for an extended period of time to push the full dosage of 10 days of antibiotics and completely eliminate any threat of infection setting in somewhere and roosting. He is still receiving his 2 antifungal drugs along with antibiotics through the PICC line. We will most likely go home with those.

Jason, Dad, Rachel, & Emma have ventured off into the wild of Washington, D.C. today. We are so excited for them. They will come back with some grand stories I am sure. Emma is very excited and I think the rest of the gang is as well too. The rain has slacked off and the day is warm (in the sunshine). Pray for their safety and for Emma's behavior. :) I was asked why I wasn't giving more antics of the family over our adventure. I am just forgetting.

There is a gentleman that is a part of the cleaning crew here at the hospital that my father has befriended. If you have ever seen the movie Pretty Woman, he is the epitome of the man in the beginning of the movie walking the streets saying "Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream?" He is a hoot. Last night he gave us a bible that he walks around with and apparently gives as gifts of comfort to awaiting families. Pray we find a family to pass it on to. :)

Lung Update #8 - Treatments are Working

2009-04-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Jeremy is better after experiencing several breathing treatments. The surgeon gave instructions for him to not be forced to get up or do anything more than his breathing treatments and sleep today. Already, he seems to be quite a bit more alert and interactive. We sat for a little while and read trivial pursuit cards until I was falling asleep reading. I then left to take a quick nap in the waiting room and Jason went in to visit with him and help him pass the time. He is now on his second round with the CPap machine and will have it on for 4 hours. He is getting more oxygen and it is very obvious that the body was in dire need of it. Your prayers are being heard, so keep lifting him up.

I will try to post one more after I visit with him tonight and I hope it is to tell you "good night" and not another long night of testing and such. We are already making arrangements for the rest of the family's return. Jeremy's father and step-mother left today to return to Kentucky. The will be recuperating and returning to their schedule tomorrow. Pray for them in this transition. Jason, Rachel, Dad, & Emma will either return Friday or Saturday, depending on Jeremy's status tomorrow. Pray for Emma. She will be separated from Jeremy and me for several days. So far, her schedule upon return is already filling up thanks to a smattering of volunteers.

I hope you are all doing well. I am good. I am resting when I can. I know that tonight will be better. Pray that Jeremy gets continued rest and that the beeping is minimal in his room. His oxygen saturation monitor keeps failing to identify his levels, and when it is struggling, it beeps. Pray that it just quits.

Lung Update #7 - More Oxygen Please

2009-04-15T09:07:00.001-07:00

We are here and I am sorry that I have been ignoring phone calls. We have been with doctors, surgeons, nurse practitioners, and nurses since around 7:00am and we didn't get settled for the evening last night until around 2:30am. I napped in two 2-hour stints, but Jeremy slept VERY little. The return to the ICU is necessary for the trauma his body was undergoing; however, as some of you probably know, ICU divisions tend to be restless because they are constantly evaluating vitals. With Jeremy, they are evaluating, re-evaluating, coercing breathing, changing out medication, checking 3 different drainage tubes, and not to mention that there are about 5 different doctors per division wanting to see him and ask him questions (repetitive questions).

My deepest apologies for not updating you guys since our move last night. The ICU has no computers and Jason had gone back to the hotel for the night and I didn't want to leave him. I am now able to give you a synopsis of the rest of our evening and where we go from here.

Jeremy was transferred to the ICU last night around midnight. So he spent about 5 hours on the regular surgical floor. During his time on the regular floor, he ran out of pain medication (the self-induced pump). The ICU did not forward the orders for refilling the prescription so that his medication would follow us in the transfer, but they had to notify the "new" doctor on call and then he had to write and request the prescription. THIS TOOK 2 HOURS. In the mean time, they finally gave an IV pain medication. It took effect about 45 minutes later. However, by now they had also checked his vitals and Jeremy's oxygen levels were ALARMINGLY low. The average person's oxygen level is between 95-100 and at rest it is still around 90-95. Jeremy is a mouth breather when he is sleeping (something about this large mass in his nose keeps him from breathing through his nose at night - if you don't know about that, just know that it is there and will remain). So when you breath through your mouth, your oxygen levels will drop further - those of you with sleep apnea are probably aware of this.

His oxygen level was at 79, and his heart rate was elevated. His fever peaked at 104 - I know, that is nothing for Jeremy, right? So, after a battle with the on-call doctor to get some tylenol for the fever, we finally got some. The fever remained; however. They ran an EKG, an x-ray, and a CT scan last night. We got to the ICU and the 30 minute untangling process of all of his cords had just been completed, when the CT scan escort arrived. So we unhook him and wheel him down to the CT scan. The doctor was looking for blood clot that could have possibly been causing this elevation in fever. He read the scan and there was no blood clot - so thank God all is well and we will not have to take any blood thinner.

We returned to ICU around 2:30, where the kind ICU doctors had made a bed for me in a chair that converts into a cot. I slept in the back of the room on and off, but the nurses evaluated Jeremy all night long. He got 2 pints of blood and was on oxygen all night. He has remained on oxygen and is now, hopefully, resting with a CPap machine attached to him. His fever broke sometime between 2:30 & 6:00am. I missed that moment. Sorry. The blood was given to try to reduce his elevated heart rate and the oxygen was given to increase his saturation level. Jeremy does have some fluid on his lungs, but after our talk with the doctor this morning, that is to be expected.

So, this morning, we have seen 8-10 doctors total. We are still grateful for the enormous attention he is getting and the people that are seeking to understand his disease and current illness. We know that God is providing us with each new face and new source of knowledge. Dr. Quaong came by this morning to evaluate all of the tests from the evening and to discuss with us the possibilities of what might have caused the reactions Jeremy was experiencing. He did state that it is not guaranteed that we will ever be able to pinpoint the exact cause, but the testing and timing of events lead him to believe that the lack of pain medication for an extensive amount of time is the primary culprit. The body was in pain and it's natural reaction is to fight inflammation with fever. The elevated fever raises the heart rate. Because he was in pain, he was not taking as deep of breaths as needed to absorb the adequate amount of oxygen. This all makes perfect sense to us. Dr. Quaong was NOT HAPPY that Jeremy went for an extensive period of time without pain medication. Jeremy cannot have certain types of pain medicine because of his disease, so they want to make sure he can have all that he needs of the medicine he can have.

So from here, he is to work on breathing treatments with two different devices about 10 times an hour when awake. He will be on a 4 hour on/5 hour off regiment with the CPap machine for the remainder of the day. When he is not on the CPap, he will be receiving oxygen still. Our stint here has been increased to at least 10 days total and about 2-3 more days in ICU so they can appropriately monitor him.

Please be patient as I try to keep you posted. I don't have access to a computer at all times. I know that you are anxious and need updates because you are not here and I know that if I were you I would be pacing as well. I am doing the best I can with what I got. I am so grateful for your prayers. They are getting us through this. Saturate Jeremy with prayers of sleep and steady breathing. That is what he needs. Pray for an appetite to arise as he is not experiencing that & he needs nourishment to strengthen him as well. Pray for my endurance. God is good and so is STARBUCKS. I love you all.

Lung Update #6 - LONG Night Ahead

2009-04-14T20:14:00.002-07:00

We are headed back to ICU. Jeremy's fever continues to climb and his oxygen levels are extremely low. They are very uncomfortable with it and are talking with the surgeon to see what Dr. Quaong would have us to do. Regardless, we are unable to detect if it related to the PICC line, which has now produced blood as we needed it to. Or it could be related to a blood clot present in the lung from the surgery. They have performed another chest x-ray, an ekg, and some other test along with taking SEVERAL viles of blood to rush off to the lab. Jeremy's oxygen level in the direct blood test were at 56 and should be in the 80s.

So if you are up - pray. You know what to pray for. Pray for the oxygen to go up. Pray for the clot, if there is one, to break loose. Pray for the PICC line to rid of any infection it might have. Pray for the fever to break. They have given him more pain medication and they have given him oxygen for the night. He has also received tylenol for the fever.

Pray that they will at least let him sleep. I know they will run more tests in roughly 8 hours or less. That gives us some time. Pray for my family to get sleep and for Emma to sleep. I am not with her and she gets antsy.

Just pray. I am not in a state of worry, but I am racking my brain trying to remember to ask all the right questions. Love you all.

Lung Update #5 - FEVER

2009-04-14T20:14:00.001-07:00

103.6

It is not uncommon to have fever post-op, but it isn't good either. If you are still up and able, pray now for it to go down. They will not give him tylenol because it will not help. He is going ot begin an antibiotic shortly to begin attacting the possible infection that has set in and caused the fever. Pray the antibiotic is rapid. Pray for rest when available and endurance when needed. He needs to breath with the barometer, but he is also SO TIRED.

Pray also for this PICC line. They haven't flushed it in over 24 hours, so it is being finicky. It will flush, but there is no return, which means there is possible clotting. We need blood return for a test they are seeking to run to see what the infection may be that is causing the fever. The nurse just tried again to get a return from the other lumen, and got nothing. WE DO NOT WANT TO PULL THE PICC AND REINSERT ANOTHER ONE. Pray this one lasts through the duration of the remainder of recovery.

I am hoping to stay with Jeremy tonight, but they just announced that visiting hours are now over. Pray they don't kick me out. :)

Lung Update #4 - Road to recovery

2009-04-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

Jeremy has been relocated to a room in the surgical wing of the inpatient care. He is removed from the numerous monitors that were robbing him of rest in the previous ICU area. He is now only connected to a saline drip, a self-determined pain pump and will receive oxygen this evening as he tends to have lower oxygen counts when he is asleep because he is a mouth breather.

Currently, he is experiencing an elevation in temperature because of the incision and the inflammation that goes along with the disturbance of certain areas of the body. Pray that he will be able to continue recuperation and assist his body to fend off this fever. He is resting well, as is Emma in the recliner next to him. Both chest tubes are still in and will continue to remain in for at least another day, possibly more.

So once again, you have prayed him through to the next step. The best treatment for this fever is to breath in and out through the barometer and getting up to walk so that his lungs do not fill with fluid. So pray for strength and endurance. Pray for his appetite and the nausea to continue to stay at bay - that is best too.

I will most likely not update again this evening, but will give you a status again in the morning. He will most likely be ready to talk to people on Thursday, so if you cannot get our cell phone, I will post the room number and phone number for the room tomorrow.

Lung Update #3 - He walks

2009-04-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

We have been up 2 times now and taken short jaunts down the hallway to regulate movement for Jeremy's body. He did vomit again on the first walk, which was much earlier this morning - around 9:30 or so. We just took another lap and he was able to do so with minimal nausea. He is now napping again. The plan is still for Jeremy to be transferred to a step down unit room; however, the wing in which he is to move is currently full. Continue to pray for the nausea and the drive. I could see the fruit of your labor in your petitions to the Lord with his drive to get up again and take another lap. The surgeon came by and spoke with us again and assured him once more that he was able to get the entire mass of infection. He also assured Jeremy that he would be able to be athletically involved again. Jeremy asked what the symptoms would be if he did over exert himself attempting a strenuous athletic ability and the surgeon said, "shortness of breath." That is something we can live with. We can identify that quickly and we can regulate stopping the activity to relieve the shortness of breath.

More to come. Keep praying. Additional to the other requests for recovery, pray for his entire body to be rid of the infection. There is that looming concern that since this infection was so intense and massive, there might be a chance that this infection could be located elsewhere. When he returns for a follow up, he will have a full body bone scan along with an MRI to search for infecton. Begin praying for that as well. I know that many of you are, but just the same...pray.

God is continuing to provide for us in more than adequate ways. His nurses from the ICU unit are very kind and attentive to his needs. They are intrigued by what we do and allows us to share our faith. We pray we continue to do so. Pray for Jeremy as the fatigue makes a positive and pleasant attitude a tad more challenging. :) This too shall pass...

Can't wait to share with you his next point of progress. Thanks for all the words of encouragement.

Lung Update #2 - Up & Nauseated

2009-04-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

Good Morning! I hope this finds you all awake and well and hopefully dry. I hear that the Southeast got pelted with heavy winds over the past 48 hours. We are receiving the rains from that storm today and tomorrow. It is just drizzling though, not near the impact you all have had.

I know, I know, enough with the weather chat. Jeremy is up in a chair this morning, but heavily drugged. They have started him on phenegran because he is experiencing some nausea from the anesthesia, pain medicine, and jarring of his body. So he has vomited this morning, but what I know right now, that has only been one time. He is expected to start attempting to begin a liquid diet today and will most likely be transferred to a surgical floor room later today. That is the next step down from IMC. He will still have the drainage tubes in and this floor is better equipped to deal with that than the 5th floor, which he was originally admitted to. He is clicking the pain pump often, so I know that he is hurting. Please pray for endurance and fight on his part as that is what is going to be required of him for a successful recovery. He is fully capable, but prayer warriors behind him will make it all the more empowering.

I should be able to give you more around lunch time today. I am now able to funnel calls through both phones now. I am no longer be contacted by a doctor through my phone. I should also see Dr. Malech sometime this morning and that will give us more information on his progression.

He needs to eat to help his tummy. Pray he will try. Pray that I will be the coach that I need to be - stern & patient. Pray that Emma has another great day. Pray for the people of the NIH as they watch us. Pray that Jesus radiates through our lives. Praise God for this facility and again, thank you for paying your taxes.

Lung Update - #1: Glad We Cracked Him Open

2009-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Jeremy made it through surgery and is in IMC (Intermediate Care Unit). It is basically an ICU of a different level. He will be in this area for at least 24 hours. I have spoken with him and he is alert and I actually think he will remember seeing me this time. We joke that the last time we visited him in this state, I had to repeat myself often because each visit was brand new to him. (For laughs, insert thought of Mr. Short Term Memory Guy skit from Saturday Night Live)

I am sure that many of you have heard through phone or other emails the results from the surgery. I will also be updating the blog shortly because Jeremy was able to relay that information to me and I can now access it appropriately. The surgery took roughly 8 hours. The estimate was 4. Yes, you should think right now - "wow, what happened?"

The doctor got into the area with the scope and was unable to get the full spectrum of the infection and decided that it would be in Jeremy's best interest to go ahead and open him up so they could actually see what they were dealing with. We are so grateful that he made this decision because what he found was a very complicated situation. The infection had spread and had caused the tissue that was in and around the area to "matte" up and in so doing had caused the lung, heart, and diaphragm to all be connected in a very tangled mess. The surgeon had to first begin removing and separating the tissue and that involved some very intensive and delicate incisions. He took a part of the pericardium (outer protective layer of the heart) off that had fungal tissue embedded on it. He took a part of the diaphragm that also had fungal tissue embedded on it. He also took the mass from the lung which had also spread into the lower lobe whereas it had originally only been in the upper lobe of the left lung. However, as intricate and massive as this was, the surgeon felt that he was able to get ALL of the infection along with the small mass he had identified at the base of the lung as well. So the PRAISE is that he got it all. The prayer is that all of Jeremy's organs will heal and his incision will heal. He did lose a nerve. It is called the frontic nerve and it connects the heart to the diaphragm and assists in regulating the maneuvering of the diaphragm during breathing. The infection had surrounded this nerve and there was no way to salvage it. The surgeon and doctor both said this would not be devastating for Jeremy. It would only be problematic if he were an olympic athlete that was under intense training. He will still be able to play sports, so those of you who allow him to play basketball, he will rejoin you next season. :)

He is currently recovering with lots of pain medication both local, and general. The nurse in the IMC spoke as if she hoped to get him up in the morning and sitting in a chair. His incision was in the back just below the shoulder blade. They had to spread his ribs, but they did not have one crack, so that is good. The overall size of the mass was roughly the size of a baseball (originally we were looking at a golfball). Jeremy still has his PICC line in. Both the surgeon and Dr. Malech want to keep that accessible until we know exactly what this was that we removed from him. They will continue with antifungal medication and obviously he will be on heavy antibiotics for an extensive period of time to prevent infection at the site of incision on all layers. So, he is hooked up to a lot of machinery right now. He is already starting with breathing treatments to regain strength in the lungs. Pray for him as he continues to push this. His main complaint with pain at this moment is his chest, not the incision site. Pray that he does not have any need to cough tonight or for the next few weeks. That will hurt tremendously.

We praise the Lord for the NIH and their willingness to seek to find answers for this disease and many others. Today, alone we have met people who are family members of people plagued with numerous other ailments such as cancer, and brittle bone disease. Our road is tough, but I can't imagine having a 7 year old who has already broken his femur 4 times this year alone. God reminds us of our struggles and our blessings. Wow. We praise the Lord for Dr. Malech who shared with our family tonight as he stayed late to consult with us post surgery that Jeremy is like a part of his family as well and that found him to be quite a special person. That means a lot to us. His job is to researc this illness, so he doesn't have to become involved in the lives of his patients, but he does. Thank you Lord. He spoke of the future and a time when we will see even better opportunities for Jeremy in aiding and assisting him in coping with this disease. He affirmed us again, that this is still not the time to put Jeremy through a trial of dealing with one of the new research studies where they are conducting gene therapy to try to encourage the body of a CGD patient to correct it's flaw. Who knows when, or if, this time will come, but Dr. Malech is looking forward to a day when we will see a new Jeremy. He commented on how we have progressed medically to a place where we could postpone the trauma of surgery by giving these IV meds. Two years ago, this worked with Jeremy. However, this time, as we now obviously see, surgery was the best option.

Jeremy will have two drainage tubes in for roughly 4 days to relieve the fluid in and around the lung area. He will be here for 4-7 days recovering from surgery. After release from the surgeon, we will then be waiting release from Dr. Malech, his regular research doctor as well. Dr. Malech seemed hopeful. I will be your contact person for the next 2 days. If you really need to speak with Jeremy, you can call and I will see if he is up for it, but hopefully I, or any of the family, or church family, will be glad to answer or assist you during the next few days. As for the rest of the recovery, Jeremy will be out of commission for moving or lifting ANYTHING FOR AT LEAST 6-8 WEEKS. Help me watch him as I will not be with him at all times. Lisa, when he leaves the office, I need you to remind him, "don't LIFT anything!" :) I am sure there are tons of mommies out there to help me watch him.

Your friend Jeremy in a nut shell: as we talked about where we are two nights ago and what will come of this, he said through tears that he has become more aware that this disease will one day take his life (I don't necessarily know that), but if God can be glorified by he being sick on a regular basis, so be it. Pray for our family as we continue to accept the calling on our lives - whatever it may be.

Pray for major changes we will need to make in our lifestyles as we return. Pray for Emma as she is all the more inquisitive on this trip seeing as how she is older and far more observant. Pray for wisdom as I mother her and protect her and yet inform her. There are many things that she does need to know, and yet there are many fears that she needs to be able to be sheltered from. She is very observant and smart and sometimes too smart. I spent about 20 minutes on the airplane assuring her that she would not have to wear the yellow mask unless it was an emergency and if it were an emergency she MUST wear the mask in order to breath"good" air. She did not want to wear the "yellow mask." :)

Simply Amazing!

2009-04-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

What an unbelievable service today! Jesus is alive and we celebrated his resurrection this morning at FBC Hayden. The words to Holly Stewart's song, "My Redeemer Lives" have been playing over and over again in my head since I left.

I was whisked away from Hayden before the service was over and made it to the airport in time to catch my plane to Maryland. Since then, all of the family has arrived safely, and they have left me at the NIH Clinical Center for the night so they can go to the Family Lodge to eat dinner.

Tomorrow at 10am they are supposed to do the surgery to remove this fungal infection from my lung. It is so amazing, but I have very little anxiety. I know that no matter what the outcome is, God is going to be glorified, and that is giving me a greater peace than I can explain. Not only that, but God has continued to put people in my path to assure me that tomorrow's operation will go smoothly. Let me share with you one such affirmation.

After September 11, 2001 security was beefed up at every government institution. What this means for people visiting the NIH is that they have to stop at a security checkpoint and have their bags scanned before they can enter campus. As usual, my cab driver pulled up to the entrance to the NIH and we got out so we could be scanned. There was a large African American gentleman that began the screening process. He saw my ID and recognized that many of my family members had already been through security that day. I shared with him that they were moral support and that I was having a "procedure" done on Monday morning.

I cannot explain it. He stopped what he was doing; he looked me in the eye; and he said, "Everything is going to be OK." Then he smiled at me. As he handed me my visitor's pass to the campus, he caught my eye again and said, "Happy Easter." He may have not meant anything by it, but somehow, I'm certain that my God was using him as a megaphone for His Words. Everything will be fine. God will use my life, my illness, and one day my death to make Jesus famous. What more can I ask for? I just pray I don't get in the way.

Pray for Jodi, Emma, Richard (Jodi's father), Danny (my father), Cindy (his wife), Rachel (My sis-in-law) and Jason (My Bro-in-law) as they are here taking care of each other and supporting me throughout tomorrow. Pray that they will not annoy one another, but will lovingly support and care for each other. Pray that Jodi won't kill anyone!! ;o)

Pray for the Drs tomorrow (Monday) as they perform the operation. Pray that they will be able to do the laproscopic procedure. This procedure is less invasive and requires less recovery time. If they cannot do the laproscopy, then pray that God will guide their hands as they surgically remove the infection by cutting into my back and side.

Pray that God's name would be praised and that Drs and nurses would be amazed. They need Jesus here badly. Pray that we may be His missionaries to Bethesda, MD over the next few days.

Pray for rest for me and a speedy recovery.

I cannot wait to see you all again. I love you all, and hope to touch base tomorrow (Monday).

Happy Easter! He is Alive, that's worth getting up for in the morning!

There's just something about this week

2009-04-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

I just came back to my office from our sanctuary where I was preparing the room for our Holy Week services when it dawned on me.

I haven't really come to a realization of what week this is.

You see, in my life, more so than Christmas, and even more so than Thanksgiving (although I love some Turkey and Dressing!), there is no greater week than the week leading up to Easter.

You see, at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus. This week, we celebrate what he came to do.

And as I thought through the events of Holy Week, not much is known about what happened on Tuesday, but I would love to remind you of a story that happened on Monday.

Mark 11:15-17
On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written, my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations"? But you have made it "a den of robbers."

What a unique and amazing picture of our Lord. On the week that he would die, he would symbolically cleanse the temple. Why? His house will be a house of prayer for the NATIONS. All people, gentiles and Jews alike, can find salvation at the feet of Jesus.

This story makes me smile. I hope that you can take some time this week to remember what Jesus has done for you.

That's enough

2009-03-31T12:06:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting in my hotel room here in Maryland, musing over the fact that God, despite the fervent prayers of His people, didn't remove this infection from my lung.

I actually said the word, "I'm not smart enough, God, to understand what you are doing here."
Then I remembered the words to a song we sing at church on a regular basis.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed what God has planned
I only know at His right hand, stands One who is my savior.

I am moved to tears even as I read these words now. That's enough. I don't have to understand what God is up to, but I can trust that He is up to something. I don't have to know if I will live or die, because I'm assured through Jesus Christ I'll live forever. That's enough.

I'm off to the drug store to buy some sunscreen, and then I'm going to try to head into DC for some Cherry Blossom viewing. I hope I don't get sunburned.

Testing I really hope...

2009-01-07T12:38:00.001-08:00

Testing I really hope this works this time. listen

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In the Face of Opposition

2008-11-18T07:42:00.000-08:00

Ezra 4:6-16
At the beginning of the reign of Xerxes, they lodged an accusation against the people of Judah and Jerusalem. And in the days of Artaxerxes king of Persia, Bishlam, Mithredath, Tabeel and the rest of his associates wrote a letter to Artaxerxes....
To King Artaxerxes,
From your servants, the men of Trans-Euphrates: The king should know that the Jews who came up to us from you have gone to Jerusalem and are rebuilding that rebellious and wicked city. They are restoring the walls and repairing the foundations. Furthermore, the king should know that if this city is built and its walls restored, no more taxes, tribute or duty will be paid, and the royal revenues will suffer. Now since we are under obligation to the palace and it is not proper for us to see the king dishonored, we are sending this message to inform the king, so that a search may be made in the archives of your predecessors. In these records you will find that this city is a rebellious city, troublesome to kings and provinces, a place of rebellion from ancient times. That is why this city was destroyed. We inform the king that if this city is built and its walls are restored, you will be left with nothing in Trans-Euphrates.

As Nehemiah rebuilt the walls and gates around the city, Ezra and the priests rebuilt the temple. It was a remarkably fast project that had the blessings of God and no shortage of opposition.
But that is how it goes when you are carrying out a great work. You will have no shortage of opposition. When you attempt great things for God people will lie, cheat, and appeal to higher authorities to get you to stop. They will pick you apart to find your flaws and your weak points. They will criticize your methods and refuse to analyze your results. This is not limited to church leaders, but Christians as a whole. Try living a disciplined life. Try being more godly in your choices and in your lifestyle and see how the critics come.
As a result, church leaders and Christians must either develop thick skin, develop a support system to help pick off the persecutors, or fall into the world of mediocrity and maintain the status quo that doesn't upset the apple cart or attempt great things for God. The latter leads to ineffective ministry or a mundane Christian walk neither of which is glorifying to God in the least.
If you aren't facing opposition in your life or in your ministry, you must not be doing something right. (That's a bold statement... let it sink in a bit before you email me!)

We need Christians and church leaders who desire the approval of God not men, and I am tired of the temptation to bow down to the approval of Artaxerxes or the Israelites who wish to return to Egypt while neglecting the great work that God has called me to.

So bring it on... let's fight for God, and let him worry about the rest.

Focus

2008-10-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a leader. As a result, I like reading books on leadership; I like reading about other leaders. The cool thing about leadership is that the Bible is full of good leaders. Leaders who sought the will of God. Leaders that I can pattern my own leadership life after.

Recently in my quiet time I came across a passage I wanted to share with you. In context, Nehemiah has been sent back to Jerusalem from exile in order to rebuild the city's walls. As you can imagine, Nehemiah experienced harsh opposition from other leaders and nations in the area who felt threatened by a newly empowered and strengthened Jerusalem. As the walls were nearing completion (after only 52 days I might add), we find this text:

Nehemiah 6:1-4
When word came to Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab and the rest of our enemies (Foreign leaders in the land of Canaan) that I (Nehemiah) had rebuilt the wall and not a gap was left in it-- though up to that time I had not set the doors in the gates-- Sanballat and Geshem sent me this message: "Come, let us meet together in one of the villages on the plain of Ono." But they were scheming to harm me; so I sent messengers to them with this reply: "I am carrying on a great project (some translations say "work") and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?" Four times they sent me the same message, and each time I gave them the same answer.

Nehemiah had been given a work to do. He was led by God to rebuild the walls to the city of Jerusalem. He had undertook this task with great ferver. He had led with zeal and resolve. He didn't allow celebrity or opposition stand in his way. As a last ditch effort, the leaders that were located in the land of Canaan invited Nehemiah to a meeting. A summit if you will. There could have been great political advantages to attending a meeting, perhaps they had door prizes and a wonderful conference notebook filled with logoed keychains and bottled water. Nehemiah isn't distracted. He knows that the leaders he would go to meet intended harm for him and for Jerusalem. He also realized that in the absence of his leadership, the work that God had called him to would falter and possibly fail.

So he remained focused on his calling. "I cannot come down."

As a Christian leader, this is a great reminder. The mission of The Church to which I have been called is to Know Christ and to Make Him Known. It is easy to get caught in controversy and quarrels and meetings and the junk of life. When I get the message, "Come, get involved in this..." or "Hey come get involved in what we are doing..." I hope that I have the resolve of Nehemiah to say, "I'm doing a great work of God here at FBC Hayden. I cannot be distracted from that work. I will not come down."

Do The Right Thing

2008-09-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

This morning I came into my office and shut the door. I hoped, that since it was a short week, that I could get some much needed studying done. I needed to prepare for my History of Christianity talk that I would give tonight as well as sermons for Sunday morning and Sunday night.

That is when the fire drills began.

Fire drills are things that are necessary, but unplanned in your day. The biggest needs came in the form of three requests for help from our benevolence fund, which is set up to help families in need. I must admit, I had a really bad attitude about having to take up my precious study time to handle these situations. In fact, I was really sour and frankly unChristian with regard to the needs. Nonetheless I handled the situations and returned to my office. I then prayed that God would help me settle down, and that he would speak to me through His Word. I then opened up my Bible to the book of Titus where I have been reading for several days. This was the passage I had scheduled for today:

Titus 3:1-8
Remind the people to be subject to their rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate and to show true humility to all men.
At one time, we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

I immediately prayed for forgiveness. I am no better than anyone who walks into my office looking for help. In fact, that is what I'm here, to help the less fortunate. To help those who cannot help themselves, or who cannot see yet how they can help themselves. My job is to buy food and gas and clothes for the needy.

And I was reminded today by God's Word, that in actuality, I'm just as needy as they are. The difference is that God has met my biggest need. So let us all devote ourselves to doing what is good. To doing the right thing. In doing so everyone profits.

No Exemptions

2008-08-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Titus 2:1-15 (Click here to read from blueletterbible.com)

When I was teaching PE at Heritage Christian Academy a phenomenon occurred that I had never witnessed in life. Children were coming to me with notes from doctors and notes from home excusing them from participating in PE. Some suffered from asthma and various other ailments, some were so overweight that simply running from one end of a basketball court to the other would leave them so winded that they would have to stop and catch their breath.

This was foreign to me, because at their age, you would have had to have to carry me away on a stretcher before I would have missed PE. It was the highlight of my day. I didn't want to be exempt, I wanted to participate.

Today in some of our churches, there are people who wish to be exempt from participating in the life of the church, and even exempt from living a life pleasing to God. In the text today in Titus, the apostle Paul makes sure that no one is left out. He makes sure that everyone knows, there are none exempt from living a holy life.

Older men are to be:
1) Temperate
2) Worthy of respect (Whoa, this one is a doozy)
3) Self-controlled (But I'm old, I've earned the right to speak my mind whenever I want!)
4) Sound in faith, love, and endurance (don't even get me started on this one!)

Older women are to be:
1) Reverent in the way they live
2) Not slanderers (read "gossipers" here)
3) Not addicted to much wine (I wonder why the older men don't have this requirement? ;o))
4) Teachers of what is good
5) Trainers of younger women

Younger women are to learn from Older women these traits:
1) How to love their husbands (this involves showing them respect)
2) How to love their children
3) To be self-controlled
4) To be pure
5) To be busy at home
6) To be kind
7) To be subject to their husbands

Young men are to:
1) Be self-controlled
2) Full of integrity
3) Serious and soundness of speech

And then, Paul does something that to our 21st century mind is a little bazaar. He addresses slaves.
And we may expect him to tell the slaves to be free. That they should no longer be slaves and that they should call Jessie Jackson and march on Jerusalem. But he doesn't say that. Instead, recognizing their position in the culture, Paul encourages them to live a holy life as a slave. In other words. Since you are a slave, be the best, most-holy slave you can be.

Slaves are to:
1) Be subject to their masters
2) Try to please their masters
3) Don't talk back to their masters
4) Don't steal from the masters
5) Be trustworthy

In all of these "rules for holy living" Paul gives reasons as to why they are important. We are to live godly lives no matter who we are or what situation in life we find ourselves because:
1) Vs. 5-- so that no one will malign the word of God
2) Vs. 8-- So that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us
3) Vs. 10-- So that in every way they will the teaching about God our Savior more attractive.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "NO" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.

The Question

2008-07-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

In relation to June 4 post with regard to having a good reputation among outsiders, I think it is important to ask a very difficult question.

If our church were to cease to exist, would our community miss us?

Unfortunately, for many churches, the answer to this question is a resounding "NO." If it weren't for a few hours on Sunday, and perhaps a couple of hours on Wednesday many "outsiders" would fail to see churches doing any kind of ministry that isn't self-promoting or inwardly focused.

FBC Hayden has always wanted to be different. As a result we run a food pantry and clothes closet called God's Storehouse, and our Women on Mission and Young Women on Mission perform a variety of services to our local teachers and community leaders.

But can't we do more? And what if we all worked together?

A few weeks ago local churches in Hayden undertook a monumental task. We decided to embark on a school supply drive to help raise money and school supplies to help needy children in our area. Currently seven churches (FBC Hayden, Crossroads Baptist, Smokerise Baptist, Hayden United Methodist, Smokerise Methodist, Hayden Church of God, and Gethsemene Baptist Church) are working to collect school supplies and funds that will be distributed among the needy families in our community on August 2, five days before the 2008-2009 school year begins.

Hopefully, with God's help, Christians of Hayden will be able to band together in order to put a big dent in a need found in our own community.

How can you get involved?
1) Pray that God will bring the supplies and money. Pray that the students will show up. Pray that the supplies will make it into the hands of the children who really need them. Pray that our community will be impacted because of our efforts to show Christ's love to these children.
2) Give money. If you can't make it to Hayden, or if you aren't the shopping type you can write a check to FBC Hayden School Supply Drive. The funds will be used to purchase needed supplies or distributed to the schools to help defray the cost of shoes, clothing and supplies for children in need
3) Give school supplies. Check out www.fbchayden.com in order to download a list of needed school supplies. Bring the supplies to First Baptist Church of Hayden (5080 State Highway 160) or any of the cooperating churches listed on our web page.

May God be with us as we seek to make a splash in our community. May we increase our reputation with outsiders and may God's name be honored as a result of it.

Partial Credit

2008-06-18T05:53:00.000-07:00

A good buddy of mine from Texas who graduated from LSU with his degree in mechanical engineering used to tell a story:

When he was in school, he had a professor walk into his engineering class and tell him in his best Chinese-American accent, "You engineer, you build bridge, bridge fall down, NO PARTIAL CREDIT!"

The message was simple. As an engineer, the structures you build, the planes you design, and the machinery you construct will be relied upon by hundreds of thousands of people. If you screw up the design, people will die. Your job is that important.

Look what Paul has to say about this.

1 Timothy 4:16
Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

What a very heavy passage. I often read this as Timothy would have read it. As the pastor of a church, Timothy must have felt an enormous burden to check his teachings. As an engineer, you have the ability to injure or kill people if there is a flaw in your design. As a doctor or nurse someone may suffer because you make the wrong call or give the wrong drug.

But as someone who teaches the Word of God. If you have a flaw in your doctrine, you have the ability to lead entire congregations away from God and ultimately into Hell. Now that is heavy.

But I don't want you to miss the application for all of the non-pastors as well. Paul urges Timothy to watch his life and his doctrine and to persevere in them, because if he does, he can find salvation.

What a stunning reminder that the gospel has the power to save. What a great reminder for all of us as Christians to read God's word for ourselves. To question what we are taught. To examine our beliefs. Because correct doctrine has the ability to save you, and flawed doctrine does not.

Do you know what you believe? Why do you believe it? What are you going to do about it?

The stakes are eternal, because if you're a "Christian" and you build a life on a faulty theology and then that theology fails, there is no partial credit.

Working Out is Just Too Much Work

2008-06-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

I hate working out. I always have. Lucky for me, I've been blessed with a fast metabolism and weight hasn't been much of an issue. Additionally, since I like to be outdoors and I love playing sports I have always maintained myself is some semblance of "shape."

That is until recently.

Apparently, when one hits 30 your metabolism slows down, you eat a lot more, and get out of breath walking up stairs. I recently told my wife I ought to be running with her in the mornings.

I ought to, but I won't.

Working out is just too much... well... work. And it often times happens in the morning before any reasonable hour where any reasonable Christian would be awake. My mother used to tell me that nothing good happened after midnight. I would like to add an addendum. Nothing good happens before 9am.

But over and over again, you hear stories of individuals who get up at 4am to go run 5 miles and work out at the local YMCA. They are fit and in shape and feel good about themselves while I continue to work out the other side of my pillow for a few more hours. I am so amazed at the effort and discipline that people into working out their bodies and getting into shape.

In my church I have a man who decided some years ago that he wanted to run a marathon. When he first began training he couldn't even run a mile. But he dedicated himself to running every day, building up his endurance. Eventually he could run a mile, then 5 miles, then 10 miles. Finally he reached his goal and ran a full 26 mile marathon, and then another, even competing in the Boston marathon. What a testimony to what you can accomplish if you simply put your mind to it.

Then I ran across this passage today:

1 Timothy 4:7-8
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Paul, writing to Timothy, is encouraging him to train himself to be godly, much in the same way that an athlete trains his body into shape. What a great parallel!

Working out is not always fun. There is no magic pill that you can take to make yourself in shape. It takes time. Often working out leaves you sore and tired. It is work. It is hard. It takes DISCIPLINE.

The exact same thing is true for followers of Christ who wish to be godly. There is no magic pill that you can take that will make you godly. No amount of dunking in water will make you like Jesus. It takes training. It takes hard work. It takes DISCIPLINE. At times it isn't fun. Until you get used to it it make make you tired. It may be hard to see the results. It may leave you sore. There will be days when you don't want to do it.

Paul says... do it anyway. TRAIN YOURSELF to be godly.

It takes time and effort, but in the end, the reward is much greater than the reward you get for training your body into shape.

If you train your body into shape and work out, the reward is temporal. Eventually you will get older, get out of shape, and die. You can train the body all you want, but every day we are alive, our bodies get one day closer to wearing out.

But if you train yourself in godliness and develop spiritual disciplines such as personal Bible study, personal worship, prayer, serving the needy, taking care of the helpless, giving, etc. then the reward is not just a temporal lifestyle change here on earth; it is discipline that reaps heavenly rewards. Paul says it holds promise for both this life and the life to come.

So you wanna work out?

Influence with Outsiders

2008-06-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I get in a funk as a pastor, I reread the Pastoral Epistles. Letters that Paul wrote to young pastors who were trying to lead local churches. Often times these letters serve as an encouragement to me, and almost always I see something that I had not seen before.

Several years ago I knew a man named Tom Price. Tom played the viola or the violin or some other stringed instrument that you place up under your chin. Tom was very good at playing the viola, and even held a spot in the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra. One day, on a trip to Vicksburg, MS, Tom and I were talking about his practice habits.

He shared with me that the music industry is one of the most pagan places to work. He stated that he was one of only a handful of Christians that played in the orchestra. As a result, he worked hard on his music. He practiced diligently for hours learning parts and rehearsing. He told me that he did this, so that when one of his non-Christian symphony friends would hear him play, they would know that he isn't a slacker. They would know that he strives for excellence.

Because the train of thought, in the symphony world, at least, is that Christians aren't excellent at anything they do.

How sad is that.

A few years ago I picked up a book by Reggie McNeal called Practicing Greatness. In it, he made a statement that rocked my leadership world. He said, "Intentional Mediocrity is a sin."

WOW.

Often times in the church, and even more often as Christians living in a n0n-Christian world we don't strive for excellence like my friend Tom, instead we strive just to get by. We do just enough so we don't get in trouble. Study just enough so we can get a C.

To intentionally not do our best is not only a sin against God, but it leads to a poor view of Christians within society. This is what stood out for me in 1 Timothy yesterday.

1 Timothy 3:7
He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and the devil's trap.

Although in this text Paul is referring to overseers (bishops, pastors), this is a passage that all of us can take to heart. If we don't have a good reputation with non-Christians. If we aren't known as people who keep their word, pay their debts, obey the laws; if we aren't known as people who love our children, take care of our families, pamper our wives and build up our husbands; if we aren't known as people who give to the needy, help the helpless and give hope to the hopeless; if we aren't known as people who do all things with excellence then we push people away from us, away from our influence and ultimately away from Jesus Christ.

Read that paragraph again. Resting on our desire to be excellent is the eternal lives of individuals, some of whom we may never speak to about Jesus, but to whom the witness of Jesus will be played out in the way we live our lives.

Ultimately, I think this is the disgrace and trap that Paul wants us to avoid. What a better way for Satan to render the Church impotent than to cause public disgrace to its leaders and members?

What a pity that this is already the case in a number of our congregations. Christians are known for what they stand against rather than what we stand for. We are known for what we hate rather than what we love. We are known for our arguing rather than speech used to build up. It is known that we ask for your money, not that we give to those in need.

Together, let's work hard to build a reputation that is worthy of the Gospel of Christ. Do all things with excellence so you might have a good reputation with outsiders and be an advancer of God's kingdom, not a stumbling block to it.

Quiet

2008-05-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

For those of you that know me, you understand that of all the adjectives that have been used to describe me, "quiet" is not one of them.

I'm loud. I'm an outside processor. I typically have something to say about most everything. I'm a go-goer. I'm constantly on the move. It is hard for me to be still. It is hard for me to be quiet.

Then today, I had to take some music books into the sanctuary of my church. It is a rainy day here and kind of dreary outside. The sanctuary was darkened, warm, stuffy... and quiet.

I realize that it is just a room, but I cannot help but feel God there. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of Sunday morning it is difficult me to feel Him. Sometimes in the greeting and smiling and singing and dealing with sound issues it is easy to overlook him.

But not today.

As I sat in our quiet and still and darkened sanctuary staring at empty pews, I was reminded of his presence. Of how without him our church is destined to fail. In those moments, I was reminded of a verse of scripture.

Mark 6:31
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."

I am reminded that I need to take time out of my day and find some time with Jesus by myself where it is quiet. I need to find some rest in Him. The sanctuary of my church this afternoon was the direct opposite of our office which was busy, loud, and bright. More than likely it is the direct opposite of where you work or go to school, but I want to encourage you. Take some time today and find a quiet spot.

Because it is in the quiet spots that we find Jesus.

What does the Bible say about Interracial Relationships

2008-04-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an interesting topic.

There are people who have used a variety of scripture passages to justify their own feelings about this particular topic. I'll discuss a few of them here:

Genesis 11:6-8 "The Tower of Babel":
The Lord said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand one another." So the Lord scattered then from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city."

It just seems silly to me that this text would be used as a justification for the church condemning interracial marriages, and yet this is precisely what happens.
Those who use this text argue that God desired to have people of different races separated, and therefore, he scattered them all over the face of the earth.
The only problem with this point of view, is that the text speaks nowhere of race, simply of language. If this hermeneutic is correct, then we should not marry people who speak a different language than us, and put simply, it would be a sin to learn a foreign language at all.

Deuteronomy 7:1-3:
When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations-- the Hittities, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you-- and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons.

It is clear that God doesn't want the Israelites intermarrying with the foreigners who lived in the land before the Hebrew nation arrived.
Those who state the Bible forbids interracial marriage point to this text, stating that God didn't want racial impurities, and therefore condemns interracial marriage.

To best understand this text, we must look at WHY God made this prohibition, and, lucky for us, the rest of the text points this out.

Deuteronomy 7:4:
For they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

The issue is not interracial marriage, but inter-religious marriage. God is not concerned with the purity of the Hebrew race; he is concerned with the purity of the Hebrew religion.

The fact of the matter is this: foreigners were accepted into the Hebrew nation as long as they were willing to forsake their former gods and worship the God of Israel.

Ruth 1:16
But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God."

Ruth was a Moabite woman (Ruth 1:4) who intermarried into the Hebrew nation. She accepts the God of Israel as her God. Marries another Hebrew named Boaz and has a child name Obed. Obed has a son named Jesse. Jesse is the father of David... the KING OF ISRAEL. And it is out of this lineage that our Lord and Savior is born.

It seems that God isn't so much concerned with interracial marriage, as he is with the tainting of Hebrew worship.

And perhaps the most quoted text condemning interracial marriage:

2 Corinthians 6:14:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

or you may have heard a different translation of this text (look at the KJV)
Do not be unequally yoked.

Some have argued that to be married to someone is to be unequally yoked. There are two problems with regard to using this Bible verse as a justification for banning interracial marriages.

1) It is racist. To imply that race is what makes someone unequal with regard to marriage implies that one race is "higher" or "better" or "more suitable" than another. Put very simply, this is a racist statement, and one that the Bible speaks against:

Galatians 3:28:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

All are created in the image of God. All are equal and loved the same in Christ Jesus.

2) It is just a bad interpretation. Once again, we see that the issue with marriage spoken of here has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with religion. Don't stop after the words, "Do not be unequally yoked" continue on and read the rest of the verse, "with unbelievers."

In short, the Bible holds NO PROHIBITION for interracial marriage.

It is true, in the past the church has made very racist claims. We spoke out for slavery, using biblical passages to support our theories. We spoke out for segregation, using the Bible as a sword where it should not have been used.

We were wrong.

The truth of the matter is, the Bible speaks a message about unity and peace with regard to race, language, color of skin, ethnicity and gender, while speaking against the tainting of our faith with false religions and the foolish teachings of men.

So stand beside your brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what color they are. Bury the hatchet of racism and let's get to work serving God.... together.

Is All Sin Really Equal in God's Eyes?

2008-04-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

It certainly doesn't seem to be equal in the world's eyes does it?

Have you ever gotten in trouble for making a "B?" My wife likes to lament about her high school days from time to time. She was always a good student bringing home good grades and finishing 4th in her class. But from time to time she would bring home a report card with a "B" on it, and the world would come screeching to a halt. As she sat in her room, grounded, with no phone privileges, she would often think, "It isn't like I failed the class... it could be a lot worse!"

To some extent, we all have felt this way. We get reprimanded by a police officer for speeding and we think, "at least I'm not out murdering someone!" We get in trouble for not taking out the garbage at home and we think, "at least I'm not a deadbeat dad!"

It is a natural inclination to compare our wrongs to the wrongs of other people in an attempt to minimize our sin.

It is hardwired in us to say, "what he is doing is so much worse." But this matter is complicated in our lives somewhat when we run across a teaching found in most churches that sounds something like this: "To God a sin is a sin."

Is this true? Are their not degrees of sin? The answer to this question is not simple. It is YES and NO.

Let me explain:

Romans 3:23 says:

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Put very simply, this means that every single one of us, no matter how good you appear to be, has made mistakes. The Bible calls these mistakes sin. It may be a little white lie that you told to your spouse. It may be an egregious act like murder. On some level, every single one of us has sinned.

As a result of this sin, however "big or small," we are separated from God.

Isaiah 59:2 says:
... your iniquities have separated you from your God...

So, a sin is a sin in the fact that no matter how "big" or "small" your sin is, it separates you from God and as a result of it you cannot have a right relationship with him. Because we are all sinful, we all need the sacrifice of Jesus Christ to pay for our sins.

So a sin is a sin in the fact that it separates us from God and requires the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross to pay the penalty. This also means that all sin is forgivable. If you have murdered, committed adultery, cussed, sped, lied, cheated, stole; If you are guilty of pride and selfishness; if you have committed a sin... and we all have... then your sins can be forgiven because of what Jesus Christ did on your behalf.

On the other hand...

Just because sins are equal in the fact that they separate us from God that doesn't mean that the consequences for all sins are the same.

If you tell your sister that the dress she is wearing in fact does not make her look fat when it does, then that little white lie may hurt some feelings. However, if I take my revolver and go on a killing spree then lives will be changed forever as a result of my actions. Ultimately, I could end up going to prison for the rest of my life, and perhaps even given the death penalty.

Even in the Old Testament Law was designed in a similar way.

Leviticus 7:26-27 says:
... you must not eat the blood of any bird or animal. If anyone eats blood, that person must be cut off from his people.

The eating of blood was such a serious offense, that the consequence was the alienation of that individual from his relatives and friends.

Leviticus 11:27-28 records:
Of all the animals that walk on all fours, those that walk on their paws are unclean for you; whoever touches their carcasses will be unclean until evening. Anyone who picks up their carcasses must wash his clothes, and he will be unclean until evening. They are unclean for you.

The touching of an unclean animal's carcass would make someone unclean until evening. They would be unfit for worship, and would have to wait until evening to participate in the life of the nation. A serious offense. A sin nonetheless, but one that doesn't forever cut one off from his people.

These are simply two examples from the OT law that show how the consequences of sins are in fact different based on the "seriousness" of the sin.

IN A NUTSHELL:

Sins are all equal in that they all separate us from God and require the death of our saviour to pay their debt.

Sins are not all equal in the fact that the consequences are in many cases different based on the "severity" of the sin.

So a sin is a sin in the fact that it separates us from God, but the ramifications or the consequences of our sins are different, based on the "severity" of the sin.

Frequently Asked Questions

2008-03-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

During the weeks following Easter, I have asked the members of FBC Hayden to choose the topics that will be discussed during our service times. The church members have submitted their questions and the final tally has been taken.

March 30 "What does the Bible say about divorce?"
April 6 "What about women preachers?"
April 13 "How does the Bible relate to science?"
April 20 "What is Hell really like?"
April 27 "Does God choose those who will be saved?"

As the submitted questions were being reviewed, however, it became obvious that there were far too many good questions that were asked. Hence the reason for this blog. Check back over the next several weeks and every question that was asked will be answered. Some answers you may not like, some you may absolutely love. Feel free to make comments and to discuss and debate as we handle the most frequently asked questions of the members of First Baptist Church of Hayden.

Modern Jews

2007-09-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

Romans 2:17-24

Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and brag about your relationship to God; if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are foolish, a teacher of infants, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth-- you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."

How often modern day Christians look like the Jews of Jesus' day. We pride ourselves on our spirituality and are quick to point out the wrongs of other people. We teach people all of the right things to do. We tell people the way that they should live; but we don't follow through with those teachings in our own lives. As a result, the world sees Christianity as a list of rules not worth following.

To the ancient near east, that meant that God's name was blasphemed among the Gentiles (Non-Jews). Today, it means that God's name is mocked among the non-Christians. The rules are not worth following, and He is simply not worth the time. DC Talk once stated that the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and then walk out the door and deny him with their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

Could you imagine what the world would be like if Christians merely acted like they taught others they should. Perhaps, those of us who brag about our relationship with Christ and those who teach the Word of God should be more careful to practice what we preach.

Numbering Our Days

2007-08-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

Last night we got the phone call at the house that everyone dreads. It was around 12:45am and it was a family member calling to tell us that Richard's (Jodi's dad) sister had suffered a heart attack and died. The news was incredibly shocking and incredibly surprising. Richard had just seen Molly a few days ago and she had just had a good check-up at the Dr's office.

Last night, as Jodi and I laid in bed discussing how sudden her departure was, and how unexpected it had been, I was reminded of a text (that had been pointed out to me just a few hours earlier in the day).

Psalm 90:1-12

Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You turn men back to dust saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men." For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by or like a watch in the night. You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-- though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. The length of our days is seventy years-- or eighty if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you. Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Last night Jodi shared that she doesn't want to take for granted the fact that she had time to say good-bye to her mother. Molly's children weren't granted that privilege.

And yet, if they had been told that their mother was going to meet Jesus last night at 11:45pm, I'm sure that their priorities might have shifted just a little bit. Perhaps they would have spent some more time with her, perhaps they would have wanted to be there with her, ushering her into the gates of Glory.

But they weren't told... and neither are we.

If you went to the doctor today and were told that you had one week to live, how would your priorities change? What would you clear from your schedule? What are the big, important things that you would fill your time with? Even as you are reading this, your mind has probably published a list of items that you would place aside as less important.

But we aren't told how much longer we have... but God knows, and he has told us that we have but one life to live. We will only experience being a teenager once. We will only be pregnant once (OK, perhaps more than once, but at least only for a period of time ;o)). We will only experience our children as babies and toddlers once. Only once will we move our kids into their college dorm room, or turn 30, or have our 23rd wedding anniversary. Once that time is past, it is gone and cannot redeem it, or make it happen again. If we knew that we were going to enter Heaven tonight in our sleep, then we would probably handle the events of our day a bit differently.

Only God knows the number of your days, and He alone has numbered them. Therefore, let's pray along with the Psalmist, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Backwards Thinking

2007-06-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

For the first four years of my life I lived with my mother and my grandparents. During that time my Grandpa grew a garden in which he cultivated potatoes, tomatoes, okra, corn, peas, beans... if it had a seed and could be grown in the garden, Grandpa grew it, and he grew lots of it.

This garden was no run-of-the-mill endeavor, either. It was gigantic, and because of its enormity, Grandpa owned a tiller. I'm sure many of you have never even seen a tiller, as I have not seen once since Grandpa stopped growing his garden. It essentially is a personal hand held plow that agitates the soil bringing the more fertile topsoil to the surface making it easier for the plant seeds to take root. I remember Grandpa starting up the gas engine on the tiller and working his way up and down the long rows of his garden for hours and hours.

Luke 9:57-62

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Still another said, "I will follow you Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family." Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

This last week Jodi and I rented the movie, "Music and Lyrics" staring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. It really was a pretty good movie. In the storyline, Hugh Grant's character, Alex Fletcher, is an 80's pop icon who has since wandered into obscurity. At one point in the movie, while interviewing for a gig on VH1s "Battle of the 80's Has-beens" he states something along these lines, "Everything that I've ever done that is good is behind me." He believes that he has already "peaked" and that the best moments of his life are in the past. As a result he spends the majority of his time singing his old songs at high school reunions and theme parks. He never looks to the future at all. He doesn't even try to write any new music. He keeps looking back.

I remember watching Grandpa till his garden. As a little child I was amazed at the level of focus Grandpa had. His eyes remained fixed just passed the turning blades of the loud tilling machine. He focused there for obvious reasons. He needed to make sure he knew where he was going. He was looking for rocks in the soil that may injure his machine. He wanted to make sure his row was straight. If Grandpa had turned around to admire the work that he had just accomplished he would never have finished with any kind of positive result. He would have plowed over his already existing plants, he could have ruined his machine, and ultimately, he wouldn't be able to grow a successful garden.

This seems so simple to us. Of course he would look forward while he was plowing ground. That's just common sense.

So why then do we spend large portions of our time like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite reliving the glory days when we could throw footballs a quarter mile. Most of us spend the majority of our time looking back on our lives at what we have accomplished, who we have known, and how we used to do it. As a result, we never end up realizing God's potential in our lives because we aren't focused on what is to come.

Unfortunately, this is especially true when we look at the local church. Jesus says in this text, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." When we seek to minister to others, we must eliminate phrases like, "we've always done ______," or "that's not the way we used to do _________." We must look to the future. We must look to the end. We must stop looking back and begin looking to the savior. Otherwise, we might wreck the whole garden.

Deep Theology

2007-06-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Living in a seminary town, there is much talk and debate about "deep theology." Resident theologians (and wannabe theologians) take much pleasure in exegeting the original Greek and Hebrew texts pulling out as much theology from the original wording as possible. As a result, numerous Bible Studies have sprouted up at scores of churches around the area promising "deep" Bible lessons.

But what is "deep" theology? A few days ago I came across a passage of scripture that reminded me of something I once heard Andy Stanley, the pastor of Northpoint Community Church, say.

Luke 6:27-33

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that.

Everyone has their nemesis. The one person in school or at work that simply rubbed you the wrong way. They seemed like (or actually were) out to get you. To trip you up; make you stumble; watch you fail. I have tried long and hard to remember the name of one of my nemesises, but it has been so many years that his name escapes me... but make no mistake about it, I remember the boys face. I was in the fourth grade at South Christian Elementary School in rural southwestern Kentucky. He was in the fifth grade, and he had a rat tail cut into the back of his hair. As clearly as I remember much more monumental days in my life like my wedding day and the day my child was born, I remember the day that he walked into the cafeteria at South Christian. My girlfriend, Kasey, was sitting next to me, and we were at the table that was inhabited by the "cool" people at the school (consequently, it was one of the few times in my life I got to sit at the "cool" table in the lunchroom, I was on top of the world!). I remember him walking in and getting in line to go get his lunch. I made an offhand comment in order to appear more cool than I was that his rat-tail looked stupid, when to my horror Kasey responded, "I think it's kind of cute." Immediately I was filled with rage. How could Kasey think that kind of hair cut was cute; How could I grow a 'rat tail' by tomorrow; How dare this kid come into my school and be 'cute.' I couldn't get his punk face out of my head all day.

The next week proved to be fatal to my on-again-off-again fourth grade relationship with Kasey. I confronted the kid on the playground for stealing my girlfriend. Since he was a whole 3 heads taller than me I of course brought with me my friend Victor, who had a gigantic heart and an even bigger body (he had been held back a couple of times in grade school). I couldn't stand the rat-tail boy. He had come into my school, and stolen my girlfriend, and ruined my fourth-grade life. He had it out for me and I knew it. I could see it on his smug little face.

You all have these people in your life, don't you? People who are always just a little bit better than you? Just a tad more successful. Just a little bit better at racquetball. Just a little bit better looking. People who always seem to get the good breaks. People that you really don't even like to look at because of how they make you feel inside. You wouldn't ever say it, because your a God-fearing Christian, but you've thought it a million times.... "I.... HATE.... that person!"

You don't really hate them, you hate the way they make you feel. Honestly, you really have a big time problem with God because he didn't "bless" you in the ways that He blessed that other person, but that's another blog.

The point is that we all have people in our lives that we don't really like to be around. We even have people in our lives who genuinely have it out to get us. They hate us and they want to see us fail and will stop at nothing to make sure that we do. It is a dog-eat-dog world and sometimes we are wearing MilkBone shorts.

So how do you react to these people?

The Bible says that we are to love them. Pray for them. Do good to them. Bless them. Forgive them. Give to them, sacrificially. Treat them well.

We are to do it, because we serve a God that did all of that for us. While we cursed Him, He forgave for us. While we spat at Him, He prayed for us. While we cried "crucify Him!" He died for us.

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Once we get that one figured out, come back and talk to me. We'll discuss some more "deep" theology.

My God

2007-06-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

A few years ago some good friends of mine got married, and as a part of their wedding reception they had a new family Bible displayed on a large table with the intent of their wedding guests highlighting a few of their favorite verses.

Resisting the urge to highlight Exodus 16:36 (look it up), I turned to Jeremiah 32:27 which reads:

I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything to hard for me?

I remember as a child learning the song, "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do." (Clap clap)

Sometimes we can become so accustomed to God, so... used to him, that we take Him for granted. We forget how big He is.

I'm here to tell you today, just exactly how BIG my God is.

Over three months ago doctors found, on my spine, a fungal infection that had penetrated the bone. After almost 12 weeks of IV anti-fungal treatment every night I went back for a follow-up MRI. Not only had the medicine not killed the infection, but the infected area was growing larger, expanding to the surrounding muscle and additional vertebrae. Immediately discussions began about surgery and gene therapy and the ball began moving in many different directions. In the mean time, I was to return home to continue IV treatments and wait for the doctors in Maryland to make up their minds about my future treatment.

Finally, the medical team decided that one more MRI was needed before surgery was scheduled to remove the infected tissue from my back. This morning, at some ungodly hour when I'm not even a Christian, I rolled out of bed and drove to the airport hopping a flight to Maryland. Once there I would have a CT scan AND an MRI (I figure if I'm already having some radiation, I might as well have a little more). Our prayer was that God would show up in a big way and that the infected area on my back would show such improvement in the MRI that surgery and gene therapy would cease to be considerations for treatment.

It is funny when you ask God to show up... because He does.

I have to be honest with you. Although I had prayed that God would heal my back, I didn't really expect it to happen. Shame on me. If only I had remembered Jeremiah 32:27 I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

After my MRI, I was ushered into a room where I was to sit and wait for consultation from my Dr.
First my nurse practitioner comes in and tells me that it seems the MRI is slightly improved. This still shouldn't change our course of treatment, however, and we still wanted to hear from my main Doc, Dr. Malech.
Then my Case Worker (Tyra) prints me out a copy of my radiology report that read the MRI showed "Marked Improvement" over previous films. Tyra was elated with this news and gave me a hihg-five.
Then finally Dr. Malech comes into my room, looks at me and tells me that the MRI showed major improvement. The spot on my back was shrinking remarkably and that surgery is not a consideration at this point. He stated that we would continue on current treatment protocol and that it could still take months to knock out the infection, but my back is getting better. He said that I should come back for a follow-up in 4-6 weeks whenever it is convenient for me.

Now, for those of you that started daydreaming about your fantasy baseball team at somepoint in the last paragraph, here is the Cliff's Notes version. I have a fungal infection in my back. For three months it doesn't respond to medicine leaving surgery and/or gene therapy as my only options. We start praying specifically for God to shrink and remove the spot. Now surgery is no longer a consideration and it appears that the medicine "magically" started working over the last 3 weeks.

Some might call it a coincidence. Some may call it the magic of modern medicine. I call it an awesome God that still works miracles and heals His people from all kinds of diseases.

My God is the Lord of all mankind. Nothing is too difficult for him. There is no infection that He can't remove. He forgives our sins and heals our diseases. My God is SO BIG, SO STRONG, and SO MIGHTY there's NOTHING MY GOD cannot do!

I wonder if you know my God?

You can find this video at Igniter Media. It apparently is taken from a sermon preached by the late SM Lockridge at his church in San Diego, California.

The Expected Fruit

2007-06-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

Recently my wife decided she wanted to plant some vegetables in a flower bed we have out back. She planted some jalapeno peppers, some okra, tomatoes, and squash. It will be a little while, but if we give these plants plenty of water, and keep the rabbits from eating them, eventually, they should produce the veggies that they are supposed to. It just makes sense. The okra plant doesn't find its value in simply being an okra plant. In order for it to be useful, it must produce something, otherwise it is just taking up space and resources that could be used for more useful purposes.

Luke 3:7-14

John said to the crowds coming out to be baptized by him, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."
" What should we do then?" the crowd asked.
John answered, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none and the one who has food should do the same."
Tax collectors also came to be baptized. "Teacher," they asked, "what should we do?"
"Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told them.
Then some soldiers asked him, "And what should we do?"
He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely--be content with your pay."

The Jewish people had a nationalistic pride. They were proud of the fact that they were Jewish. They were God's chosen people, and they believed that their claim as a descendant of Abraham was enough to make them right with God. The problem was, however, that they were no better than the people living around them. Although they looked down on others for their actions, their lawlessness was just as sinful in the eyes of God, and no amount of being Abraham's descendant could make them right with Him.

Most of the people that will read this blog are Gentiles (Non-Jews). We cannot claim the lineage of Abraham, yet many of us are guilty of the same type of pride as the Jews. We claim that we are Christians, and we even participate in the ritualistic rites that are associated with following Christ. We attend church and LifeGroup; we read our Bibles (sometimes); we feel like we can pray to God and when things get tough sometimes we do. We often appeal to our Christianity in the same way that the Jews referred to their Jewishness-- It doesn't matter what I do, I'm a Christian!

John calls the Jews a "brood of vipers," and I fear that most of the time we aren't much better. Three different groups asked John what they needed to do. They were essentially asking what type of fruit they were supposed to be producing. Look at his responses:

1) To the crowd he says, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same."
2) To the tax collectors he says, "Don't collect any more than you are required to."
3) To the soldiers he says, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely-- be content with your pay."

Not once does he tell them to join his Wednesday night Beth Moore Bible study. Not once does he tell them that they should spend more time in public worship. He doesn't even mention that they need to bolster up their private worship lives. None of that. Not that these things aren't important and very good things. They just aren't the type of fruit that gives testimony to the change that takes place in you at the time of conversion. The actions that show fruit in a Christians life all involve loving other people. Giving to those who are in need, treating others fairly, not cheating others. Loving one another the way that you would like to be loved.

Jesus reiterates this point when he states in John 13:34-35:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. What kind of fruit does your life bear?

How can I be sure?

2007-06-05T09:25:00.001-07:00

Sorry I have been less than faithful with my blog the last few days. I hope it hasn't upset you guys too much. I know how much you blissfully anticipate my new posts day after day ;o)

Anyway, back to reality.

God has a plan for your life. I know that he does. And although we can be for certain that God has a plan, the details of that plan are a little more difficult to ascertain. In fact, sometimes, God's plan for you can seem so completely illogical that you simply cannot believe that your life will move in His direction.

Luke 1:11-20

Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous-- tomake ready a people prepared for the Lord."
Zechariah asked the angel, "How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years."
The angel answered, "I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words which will come true at their proper time."

God had an amazing plan for the life of Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth. Through them he would bring John the Baptist who would become the prophet in the spirit of Elijah preparing the way for Christ.
But Zechariah couldn't see how it would all work out. He was old. His wife was old. He was ready to start drawing social security and retire. If this were true, he was going to be tossed back into a lifestyle of diapers and drool; baby food and patience. If God was going to do this, Zechariah needed to know for certain that what the angel was saying to him was true.

Now think about this for a minute. Zechariah is a priest. He is in the temple of the Most High God. He sees an angel who gives him this message... why is THE FACT THAT HIS WIFE WILL HAVE A SON such a hard thing to believe. For Pete's sake he's talking to an ANGEL! Not only that, but according to Gabriel, he was already PRAYING FOR A SON! (See verse 13 that states, "your prayer has been heard."

As a consequence to his unbelief Gabriel takes his speech from him until John is born.

When God lays our His plan for our life, or when He reveals portions of that plan to you, it is so much easier to ask God for a sign or a golden fleece to prove to us that the promises He has made are true than it is to trust His word. But God is trustworthy and will follow through with His promises. How can I be sure?

Has He let you down yet?

Just Jump

2007-05-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

Genesis 12:1-4

The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to a land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran.

I am amazed by this story. Even though I grew up in a church that taught me the Bible, I never ceased to be amazed by Abram's enormous faith. God, in some way unknown to us, speaks to Abram and tells him to pack up his stuff and leave... and then Abram does.

You have to understand that this wasn't a simple move, like you moving from Alabama to Texas or Hopkinsville to Nashville. He packed up everything. His family. His animals. His servants. He packed it all up and took it with him, and please remember, that he couldn't go down to the local UHaul place and rent the super large 28 foot camel. Abram and his family strapped what they had on their backs, and on their animals, and they set out on foot.

Where were they going? They didn't know. How would they get there? No clue. Would they get robbed on the way? Killed on the way? Maybe. You see, I'm amazed by this story because Abram doesn't ask for the details. God tells him to move... and he moves.

This last Monday we took Emma, along with some of our friends to the park that is within walking distance of our house. Emma never ceases to amaze me with what she can do and Monday was no different. She took to climbing a rock wall on the playground equipment "all by herself." She would get to the top and turn around and say, "Jump me, Daddy! Jump me!" Which really means "catch me." She would walk to the very edge of the rock wall and then throw herself off into the air where I caught her and placed her safely on the ground. "I do it again!" she squealed, and then she would scamper back up the wall and jump off again.

I got to thinking about this. She was so carefree and comfortable jumping off of a high object. Unless you have a death wish and like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes people don't normally jump off of high places, at least not without thinking about it pretty seriously first. Why do you think Emma was so comfortable taking a flying leap off of the top of this playground? Is it because someone had explained to her gravity, and that if she jumps off the earth's gravitational force would pull her down to the ground? Is it because she understood that underneath the mulch on this playground there is a soft material that is designed to cushion children as they fall? Nope. She knew that she could jump off of that equipment and all would be OK, because she had complete trust in her daddy, and faith that he would catch her.

God is constantly intersecting our lives with direction. There are times that He calls us to pack up and move, and there are times He tells us to go and talk with someone about Him. There are times He tells us to do things that seem impossible, improbable, or just down right crazy. When God intersects our lives, if you are like me, the reaction tends to be similar to Moses' reaction when God calls him. "What? Me? No way." or "Tell me how this is going to work out, God." I want to know details. I want to know about providing for my family and what we'll eat and where we'll live. I want to be absolutely sure that I'll be taken care of. Abram doesn't ask these things. God says to go, and he goes. No questions. Now that's faith.

And sometimes all God says to us is this: "Put your feet on the edge of the playground equipment and take a flying leap... I'll catch you, I promise!"

So what is holding you back from jumping into your Heavenly Father's arms?

Plagerism

2007-05-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

OK, So I have been reading this book over the last couple of weeks:

It is by John Ortberg, the pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, California, and it is called God is Closer than you Think.

You can order it by clicking here.

I highly recommend any of Ortberg's books. Others that I have read include: The Life You've Always Wanted; If You Want to Walk on Water, You've God to Get Out of the Boat; and Everyone's Normal 'Till You Get to Know Them.

In the first chapter of the book, Ortberg describes an event during the first year of his marriage when he and his wife visited the Sistine Chapel in order to view Michelangelo's work, The Creation of Adam, on its ceiling. Ortberg described the painting on page 11:

If you look carefully at the painting, you notice that the figure of God is
extended toward the man with great vigor. He twists his body to move it as close
to the man as possible. His head is turned toward the man, and his gaze is fixed
on him. God's arm is stretched out, his index finger extended straight forward;
every muscle is taut.

That's God on the right. Notice how He is leaning so much that the angels seem to hold on to Him. He is interested in engaging Adam so much, that He is willing to go to superextreme measures in order to make it happen.

Adam on the other hand, is a different story. Ortberg writes on page 12:

His arm is partially extended toward God, but his body reclines in a lazy
pose, leaning backward as if he has no interest at all in making a
connection. Maybe he assumes that God, having come this far, will close
the gap. Maybe he is indifferent to the possibility of touching his
creator. Maybe he lacks the strength. All he would have to do is
lift a finger.

Working at a church is quite interesting. A lot of times I am approached by church members who are struggling in one or more areas of their lives. Perhaps it is a young seminarian looking for God's direction in his life. Perhaps it is a marriage that is on the rocks. Perhaps it is
someone struggling with an addiction of some sort. Regardless of the struggle, many times these people are looking for God, but God seems to be silent, or absent from their lives. These people all ask, either verbally or mentally, "Why would God let this happen to me?" or "Where is God in all of this?"

God is closer than you think.

Matthew 28:18

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority on heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

When God feels far from you. When He seems to be ignoring you. When He appears to be absent from your life. Remember that He has promised to always be with you. Right now God is twisting and contorting his body. He is rushing in as close to you as his clouds can take him. He is stretching out his arm as far as it will go. He is doing all of this because He wants you to be able to encounter Him. All you have to do is "lift a finger." When God isn't anywhere to be found... He is much closer than it appears.

I Guess You Have to do it One Bite at a Time

2007-05-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

Are you acutely aware of your own sinfulness, or have you lived in a lifestyle of sin for so long that you are even unaware of your mistakes? I find it very interesting that there are certain sins over which, that once I commit them, I am immediately remorseful and sorrowful and repentant. But there are other sins, sins that may seem small to me, but none the less sins, that I have committed so much that they have become a part of who I am. They have been "written on my heart," and I find myself ignoring or justifying these sins in my life.

Unfortunately, the church does this as well. When a potential pastor is interviewed at most churches he is asked if he is faithful to his wife, if he has ever been divorced, if he drinks, if he smokes, and if he is addicted to pornography. These are typical questions that ultimately come up on the process. But what questions should they be asking? Do you have trouble with gossip? Do you manage your household well? Do you struggle with pride? Arrogance? Envy?

Matthew 23:23-24

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices-- mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

The Pharisees were meticulous about following the law, and since the law says to give a tenth of their possessions they did that. Even down to the spices that they used on their food. No one could ever condemn the Pharisees for not tithing. Jesus quickly calls them on it. He states, that they have neglected the things that really matter: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. Jesus doesn't say that tithing isn't important, he just reminds them that it isn't the only thing, or even the most important thing.

Then Jesus uses one of my favorite hyperboles in all of scripture. "You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."
You see, both winged insects and camels are unclean creatures that the Pharisees wanted to avoid. It seems pretty obvious that it is much easier to avoid camels than it is to avoid gnats. The Pharisees in order to rid the gnats of an opportunity to land in their wine and sneak into their bodies would strain their wine through some sort of cheese cloth in order to get all of the gnats out before they took a drink. They were meticulous about this. They really didn't want to eat a fly (Perhaps we should tell them that they eat on average 8 spiders a year in their sleep.) Jesus tells them that they are so busy making sure that they avoid such a little gnat, that they allow gigantic camels to make them just as unclean.

As Christians we spend a lot of time and energy and money dealing with personal addictions and other "super" sins. There are thousands of books that are written on the subjects. And although these are good resources, it is so easy to become so transfixed on a few "unpardonable" sins, that we allow the root of our sinfulness (pride, anger, selfishness, etc.) to grow and grow until it makes us unclean.

What areas of your life have you overlooked. What are some sins of the heart that you must confess?